Wednesday, May 7, 2008
They Don't Have To Worry Anymore
My husband was not the only person in my family strongly against my decision to take Tysabri as my new treatment to slow the progression of multiple sclerosis, my entire family was against it. They should all be very happy campers when I tell them I will not be taking Tysabri. The decision to take Tysabri as my new treatment was taken away from me after my third doctor visit of the month of May.
Since I had taken methotrexate (chemo) as a treatment for my MS, my white blood cells have not returned to normal. Methotrexate also went toxic in my body after being on it for six months. At my doctor appointment Tuesday, I received the results of the Complete Blood Count; my CBC count revealed that my white blood cells are still low. They are higher than what they were when I was taken off methotrexate, but they are too low to take Tysabri. To the point, without adequate protection from these disease-fighting cells, viruses and bacteria suddenly become much more serious threats.
Although I have been feeling better since I had my last experience, that feeling is slowly disappearing. I am trying very hard not to get down about my present circumstances. The adversary is busy, I am feeling alone and I know I am not alone…I have to and I will fight what this is I am feeling right now…there is no need to worry TM… I will pull myself out of this rut soon.
Emotionally I have prepared myself to take Tysabri well aware of the possible danger. I am aware of the chemotherapy drugs that some MS’ers can take, but I been down that road and I cannot travel it again. I have to prepare myself mentally that I will be injecting myself with a needle again. I am experiencing an emotional rollercoaster that is leaning towards a tunnel of depression. I am not in that tunnel yet, but I feel myself drifting there…tick tock, tick tock, a tick a tick a tick a clock :(