Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Slowing Working My Way Back




OH, BY THE WAY I WISH EVERYONE A...

Friday, November 7, 2008

I Have Not Forgotten You All


I will be back to regular blogging in December, but I will try to post now and then and visit when my load lightens up. As most of you all know, I am taking classes and that is what is taking up most of my time. I also committed myself to a few projects that are time consuming. My time is stretch thin, I had to let something go, and that something is blogging.

In away it is a good thing because withdrawing from being a blogging junkie was almost as bad when I went through withdrawing from taking morphine for my MS pain :)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

YES WE CAN



I am THANKFUL to ALL AMERICANS who voted for Barack Obama on the content of his character and not the color of his skin.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Feel Good Sunday


LET GO!

Tell This


Oct 05, 2008

The Norwegian newspaper VG has reported a truly amazing story about a newly-wed trying to get to Norway to be with her husband, and the stranger who helped pay an unexpected luggage surcharge. The blog 'Leisha's Random Thoughts' has translated the story.

It was 1988, and Mary Andersen was at the Miami airport checking in for a long flight to Norway to be with her husband when the airline representative informed her that she wouldn't be able to check her luggage without paying a 100 surcharge:

When it was finally Mary's turn, she got the message that would crush her bubbling feeling of happiness.

-You'll have to pay a 103 dollar surcharge if you want to bring both those suitcases to Norway, the man behind the counter said.

Mary had no money. Her new husband had travelled ahead of her to Norway, and she had no one else to call.

-I was completely desperate and tried to think which of my things I could manage without. But I had already made such a careful selection of my most prized possessions, says Mary.

As tears streamed down her face, she heard a 'gentle and friendly voice' behind her saying, 'That's okay, I'll pay for her.'
Mary turned around to see a tall man whom she had never seen before.

-He had a gentle and kind voice that was still firm and decisive. The first thing I thought was, Who is this man?

Although this happened 20 years ago, Mary still remembers the authority that radiated from the man.

-He was nicely dressed, fashionably dressed with brown leather shoes, a cotton shirt open at the throat and khaki pants, says Mary.

She was thrilled to be able to bring both her suitcases to Norway and assured the stranger that he would get his money back. The man wrote his name and address on a piece of paper that he gave to Mary. She thanked him repeatedly. When she finally walked off towards the security checkpoint, he waved goodbye to her.

Who was the man?

Barack Obama.

Twenty years later, she is thrilled that the friendly stranger at the airport may be the next President and has voted for him already and donated 100 dollars to his campaign:

-He was my knight in shining armor, says Mary, smiling.

She paid the 103 dollars back to Obama the day after she arrived in Norway. At that time he had just finished his job as a poorly paid community worker* in Chicago, and had started his law studies at prestigious Harvard university.

Mary even convinced her parents to vote for him:

In the spring of 2006 Mary's parents had heard that Obama was considering a run for president, but that he had still not decided. They chose to write a letter in which they told him that he would receive their votes. At the same time, they thanked Obama for helping their daughter 18 years earlier.

And Obama replied:

In a letter to Mary's parents dated May 4th, 2006 and stamped 'United States Senate, Washington DC', Barack Obama writes:

'I want to thank you for the lovely things you wrote about me and for reminding me of what happened at Miami airport. I'm happy I could help back then, and I'm delighted to hear that your daughter is happy in Norway. Please send her my best wishes. Sincerely, Barack Obama, United States Senator'.

The parents sent the letter on to Mary.

Mary says that when her friends and associates talk about the election, especially when race relations is the heated subject, she relates the story of the k ind man who helped out a stranger-in-need over twenty years ago, years before he had even thought about running for high office.

Truly a wonderful story, and something that needs to be passed along in the maelstorm of fear-and-smear politics we are being subjected to right now.

Remember this was 1988, when 100 dollars was quite a bit of money, compared to today's value.

By the way, this would be the perfect antidote to the Smear E-mails going around. If anyone has a good long email chain list, shoot it out, and let it be passed along.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

You Shouln't Have...Nah I Take That Back..Thanks For Selecting Me



Thanks Lisa at Brass and Ivory for giving me a Gratitude with Attitude award, it means a lot coming from you.

Some time ago, Jim kindly presented me with the "Gratitude with Attitude Award."
It is time to pass it on to some fabulous blogging friends, old and new.


Here are the rules:

* Put the logo on your blog or post.
* Nominate at least 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!
* Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
* Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

* Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.



I am to pass this award on and there are a few MS blogs that already received this award. Too bad, I am sending it to you anyway because I truly enjoy your site. I appreciate those of you who read my site, but if live with MS you must visit Lisa, Diane, or Linda they are inspirational, informative, and comical discussing living with MS. Their sites were a Godsend when I first was diagnosis with MS and I found my way to their blogs. They are true champions for the new and old MS'ers out here in the blogosphere.


Brain Cheese...Linda

A Stellar Life...Diane

Merely Me’s Multiple Synchronicities (and sclerosis)

Disable Not Dead...Anne

White Lightening Axiom Redux
Delving Under the Covers...Charlene

Living! With Ms...Denver

Tias Mind...Tia lives with MS, but focus on life

Deeper and Deeper My Poetry Blog...Don writes beautiful poetry

Field Negro...aka Field a Philly lawyer that keeps it real and the people that comments are some of the best, but I must warn you there are occasional knuckle heads.

Please go check out his post “Searching for a Black Friend in the Age of Obama”.

Field could not have said it better when he said,

“Here is the thing Devin: Us black folks are like any other group. We are not monolithic, and we have very diverse opinions, taste, ideologies, and yes; even ways to have fun. So there is no such thing as a black board of directors to give black people their cues on how to act and what not to like and like. I know I joke about shit like that all the time, but believe me, it's really not the case.


And please forget this insane pursuit to find a black friend. Just relax, be yourself, and eventually some black person might just find you and like you for who you are. If not, it's not a big deal. Trust me. There are plenty black folks without white friends. It's not the end of the world. We can all live in this amicable state of self segregation, as long as we show mutual respect for each other and afford each other the dignity that we each deserve as human beings.”

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Wow It's Been 26 Years



One beautiful daughter

One beautiful day

Another reason to be so proud of the person you are, to be thankful for all the happiness your bring to our lives.

Another chance to say how much you mean, how much you'll always be loved.

Feel Good Sunday

Stand By Me


MONEY Grab



I always wished I could have an opportunity to grab a fist full of money.



I finally received one of my life wishes. I paid five dollars to enter a money grab booth Saturday; it was what I thought it would be EXHILARATING.



I grabbed a fistful of money that I could have kept...




because the event was giving all the money raised to a worthwhile non-profit in my community I donated my winnings.

I HAD A GOOOOOD TIME IN THAT BOOTH!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

COMMENDABLE




Although it is tough for a Democrat Preidential candidate to win in Missouri, this article is worth sharing from my hometown (St. Louis) newspaper.

The Post-Dispatch Endorses Barack Obama for President

Sunday, Oct. 12 2008

In January, nine days before the Feb. 5 presidential primaries in Missouri and
Illinois, this editorial page endorsed Barack Obama and John McCain in their
respective races.

We did so enthusiastically. We wrote that either Mr. Obama's message of hope or
Mr. McCain's independence and integrity offered America 'the chance to turn the
page on 28 years of contentious, greed-driven politics and move into a new era
of possibility.'

Over the past nine months, Mr. Obama, the junior senator from Illinois, has
emerged as the only truly transformative candidate in the race. In the crucible
that is a presidential campaign, his intellect, his temperament and equanimity
under pressure consistently have been impressive. He has surrounded himself
with smart, capable advisers who have helped him refine thorough, nuanced
policy positions.

In a word, Mr. Obama has been presidential.

Meanwhile, Mr. McCain, the senior senator from Arizona, became the incredible
shrinking man. He shrank from his principled stands in favor of a humane
immigration policy. He shrank from his universal condemnation of torture and
his condemnation of the politics of smear.

He even shrank from his own campaign slogan, 'Country First,' by selecting the
least qualified running mate since the Swedenborgian shipbuilder Arthur Sewall
ran as William Jennings Bryan's No. 2 in 1896.

In making political endorsements, this editorial page is guided first by the
principles espoused by Joseph Pulitzer in The Post-Dispatch Platform printed
daily at the top of this page. Then we consider questions of character, life
experience and intellect, as well as specific policy and issue positions. Each
member of the editorial board weighs in.

On all counts, the consensus was clear: Barack Obama of Illinois should be the
next president of the United States.

We didn't know nine months ago that before Election Day, America would face its
greatest economic challenge since the Great Depression. The crisis on Wall
Street is devastating, but it has offered voters a useful preview of how the
two presidential candidates would respond to a crisis.

Very early on, Mr. Obama reached out to his impressive corps of economic
advisers and developed a comprehensive set of recommendations for addressing
the problems. He set them forth calmly and explained them carefully.

Mr. McCain, a longtime critic of government regulation, was late to recognize
the threat. The chief economic adviser of his campaign initially was former
Sen. Phil Gramm, R-Texas, who had been one of the architects of banking
deregulation. When the credit markets imploded, Mr. McCain lurched from one
ineffectual grandstand play to another. He squandered the one clear advantage
he had over Mr. Obama: experience.

Mr. McCain first was elected to Congress in 1982 when Mr. Obama was in his
senior year at Columbia University. Yet the younger man's intellectual
curiosity and capacity — and, yes, also the skills he developed as a community
organizer and his instincts as a political conciliator — more than compensate
for his lack of more traditional Washington experience.

A presidency is defined less by what happens in the Oval Office than by what is
done by the more than 3,000 men and women the president appoints to government
office. Only 600 of them are subject to Senate approval. The rest serve at the
pleasure of the president.

We have little doubt that Mr. Obama's appointees would bring a level of
competence, compassion and intellectual achievement to the executive branch
that hasn't been seen since the New Frontier. He has energized a new generation
of Americans who would put the concept of service back in 'public service.'

Consider that while Mr. McCain selected as his running mate Gov. Sarah Palin of
Alaska, a callow and shrill partisan, Mr. Obama selected Sen. Joe Biden of
Delaware. Mr. Biden's 35-year Senate career has given him encyclopedic
expertise on legislative and judicial issues, as well as foreign affairs.

The idea that 3,000 bright, dedicated and accomplished Americans would be
joining the Obama administration to serve the public — as opposed to padding
their resum├ęs or shilling for the corporate interests they're sworn to oversee
— is reassuring. That they would be serving a president who actually would
listen to them is staggering.

And the fact that Mr. Obama can explain his thoughts and policies in language
that can instruct and inspire is exciting. Eloquence isn't everything in a
president, but it is not nothing, either.

Experience aside, the 25-year difference in the ages of Mr. McCain, 72, and Mr.
Obama, 47, is important largely because Mr. Obama's election would represent a
generational shift. He would be the first chief executive in more than six
decades whose worldview was not formed, at least in part, by the Cold War or
Vietnam.

He sees the complicated world as it is today, not as a binary division between
us and them, but as a kaleidoscope of shifting alliances and interests. As he
often notes, he is the son of a Kenyan father and a mother from Kansas, an
internationalist who yet acknowledges that America is the only nation in the
world in which someone of his distinctly modest background could rise as far as
his talent, intellect and hard work would take him.

Given the damage that has been done to America's moral standing in the world in
the last eight years — by a preemptory war, a unilateralist foreign policy and
by policies that have treated both the Geneva Conventions and our own Bill of
Rights as optional — Mr. Obama's election would help America reclaim the moral
high ground.

It also must be said that Mr. Obama is right on the issues. He was right on the
war in Iraq. He is right that all Americans deserve access to health care and
right in his pragmatic approach to meeting that goal. He is right on tax
policy, infrastructure investment, energy policy and environmental issues. He
is right on American ideals.

He was right when he said in his remarkable speech in March in Philadelphia
that 'In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less,
than what all the world's great religions demand: that we do unto others as we
would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us.
Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one
another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.'

John McCain has served his country well, but in the end, he may have wanted the
presidency a little too much, so much that he has sacrificed some of the
principles that made him a heroic figure in war and in peace. In every way
possible, he has earned the right to retire.

Finally, only at this late point do we note that Barack Obama is an
African-American. Because of who he is and how he has run his campaign, that
fact has become almost incidental to most Americans. Instead, his countrymen are weighing his talents, his values and his beliefs, judging him not by the color of his skin, but the content of his character.

That says something profound and good — about him as a candidate and about us as a nation.

**UPDATE**
I wish I was there, my hometown came out in record numbers to hear Barack Obama speak in St. Louis October 18, 2008


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Who Are The Real Domestic Terrorists?

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Hard to believe the McCain/Palin HATE mob actually believes in GOD. I use to have respect for John McCain, he should have never allowed his campaign staff guide him in that direction and have Sarah Palin tap and stir up this unsettling HATE. There is something seriously wrong with John McCain picking a VP candidate who once belonged to the Alaska Independence Party and whose husband still belongs to that group.

Quote: She was an AIP member before she got elected a Mayor of a small town, but to get along to go along she HAD to join the Republican Party… *the above quote is at the two-minute mark on the video

1. DO YOU REALLY KNOW SARAH PALIN?

or ask this question

2. DO YOU KNOW THE REAL SARAH PALIN?


Senator McCain you were too late to stop this can of HATE your campaign opened up... *make sure you check out the end of the video.

You Are Invited



We had him as our guest last year for a book signing and reading from
The Legend of Quito Road
, in keeping our promise...Circle of Friends Book Club is having Dwight Fryer as their guest for a book signing and reading from The Knees of Gullah Island, a prequel to The Legend of Quito Road.


Thursday, October 16, 2008
6:30pm
Neighborhood Bristo
6646 Hwy 51 North

Come have dinner, enjoy the story telling of The Knees of Gullah Island…and leave with a creamy grits and shrimp recipe...a dish that is mentioned often in the book.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Change Begins At The Local Level



Since I have been living here, I became tired of hearing the locals say, "That's the way it is here." My reply was, "That is NOT the way it has to be, change begins when you come to the Mayor and Board of Aldermen meetings and the other commission meetings. By not coming to the meetings, that is how officials get away with passing legislation not in the peoples best interest. However, you can stop what is not in the community best interest before the third and final reading."

Four years ago, two men ran for the Mayor seat after the incumbent decided to retire after being Mayor for thirty years. I had nothing against either man, but I did have reservations about the one candidate that was born and lived here all his life. Without a doubt, he was a good ole boy and the favorite to win. I took a closer look at the hometown favorite challenger and liked his campaign message, I particular like three of the statements he had on his brochure:


Quote: “I have not forgotten and will not forget my duty is to the people of our community, the people that pay the money, the taxpayers, YOU!”

Quote: “I will maintain an open door policy for every employee and citizen of Millington. I will remove any doubt that there is preferential treatment and ensure that everyone has equal consideration. I am committed to uniting the citizens of Millington and forming the best possible team that will ensure positive growth now and provide a bright and stable future for the City of Millington.”

Quote: “I am not in this for personal gain, I do not have any conflicts of interest and I can make all decisions fairly, because I am not obligated to any special interest. I will work full-time for the people of Millington and give them 110% or more if that is what is required to make Millington the best it can be! I stand on my reputation, my integrity, my experience and most importantly, on my commitment to the people of Millington.”

I knew the election four years ago was the opportunity for CHANGE how politics always been here. Therefore, I decided to get involved to help the outsider because I am considered an outsider (that is what we called ourselves here, if you were not born and lived here all your life.) A military base and military people who retired here support this small quaint town, it was time they embraced the ideas and talents of outsiders who consider this town HOME.

Therefore, many others and I who believed in the outsider campaign literature worked hard to get him elected. Yes, people were upset when the outsider won, but I was ecstatic about our victory. I do not know what others expected of him when he won, but all I wanted was for him to honor three of his campaign promises.

At his victory celebration four years ago and after witnessing all the @ss kissing people were doing who did nothing to help him win. I pulled our newly elected Mayor to the side and said the following, "All I want you to do is do what you promised in your campaign brochures, because if you do not, as hard as we worked to help you win tonight, we will work twice as hard to help you out of office."

I know those were some strong words, but I meant every word. I am one American citizen who is sick and tired of politicians who seek office and do not keep their promise to the people. We the people are the ones who put them in office and once they are in office, they forget that and cater to special interest, businesses and developers. That is exactly what our new Mayor did four years ago; it was less than a month into his term that he began working against the people.

We had to endure the Mayor's BS for four years; he had no problem taking advice when he was seeking office. However, he had a problem correcting or enforcing ordinances and disciplining certain police officers that were wrong towards the people, even when he was presented with evidence and facts.

The strong words I said to him four years ago came back to haunt him. He sold the people out and the people spoke on September 30, 2008 and kicked him out of office. He was the favorite to win because special interest, business people, and developers who were his strongest supporters, but he forgot the majority of them could not vote in the city.

I reminded the people we are the ones who put the Mayor in office and if we have to seat, a new Mayor every four years that is what we will do. Politicians need reminding they work for us not businesses, special interests, and developers. Maybe if more people watch what our Congressmen or women and Senators were doing in Washington, America would not be in the position she is in now.

We the people need to understand accountability begins at the local level. I hope that enough people are upset with what is happening on the federal level and will start holding their Congressmen or women and Senator accountable and vote them out when they seek office again if they are not for the people.

Understanding Politics




Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.


Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.


He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'

The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.

Author Unknown

Friday, October 10, 2008

Opened My Doors To Help...They Ended Up Helping Me


Shelly enjoyed all the extra LOVE and they wanted to take her back, but she was not having that...she immediately jumped out the trailer after the picture was taken.

My household went from two adults and a dog to a household of ten people and a dog (Shelly). My brother and sister in law with their 22-year-old adult son and three teenagers ages 17, 16, and 15, an adult niece and her ten-year-old son rounded out the evacuees living in my house for what I thought would be three to five days, but turned out to be eleven days.

Many of my friends and other family members thought I would be pulling my hair out having so many people in my house. I have to admit I wondered if I could handle it after they all arrived. Truth is I enjoyed every one of the eleven days my evacuees were here. Having them here and making sure they were comfortable did more for me than they know.

What my family, friends, associates, and blogging community did not know was for over a year, I have been silently suffering from anxiety and panic attacks every morning when I wake up to an empty house. I fight the attacks all day off and on and do not completely relax until my husband arrive home from work. Everyday I was tempted to call my husband, daughter, friend, or anyone when I was battling the anxiety and panic building in my body. The attacks started after the third time I had a serious medical problem and I was home alone with Shelly.

I allowed fear to engulf me when I am alone at home or driving it altered how I go about my day. I once tried taking medication and I prayed often-begging God to take away that dreadful feeling. The attacks are not as severe from when they first started, but they are scary nonetheless. After receiving the phone call from my family asking to come here to escape Hurricane Ike, I immediately dismissed my fear of having the attacks. I prayed asking God to help me keep it in control because the last thing my family needed was to worry about me, when they could possibly lose everything when Ike hit their city.

I am happy to say the entire time my evacuees (which is what I fondly call them) were here, they never seen me have an anxiety or panic attack. To ease the anxiety they were feeling wondering about the damage Hurricane Ike was doing. I made it a point to have their stay with me and mine feel like a vacation.




They had the opportunity to see what could be the last time Goat Day’s would be an event in my city.




They had the opportunity to enjoy the last Mid South Fair held in Memphis.

They went to the movies, park, and mall.

They went to Tunica

They went to Beale Street


As they were packing up to leave, it felt good knowing I accomplished what I set out to do when they said, "We felt like we were on vaction instead of evacuees. The people we been talking to who are stuck in hotels, shelters or stayed at home are jealous. Our house is the bed and breakfast, ES house is the home away from home, your house is the evacuee house."

I replied, "No, my house was your home away from home, but I will accept the title house for the evacuees. Adding, if I were you all I would not talk too much about the good time here because other family member will try to beat you here if there is another evacuation, but you all have first call since we survived eleven days together under one roof. It has been years since I had teenager in the house and I enjoyed every minute of it. Had your children been bad @ss kids…I would have shown you all the door on day one."

When they pulled off and I returned to the house I had a beautiful gift, card, and a check thanking me for the hospitality.

What they do not realize is by coming here to escape Ike they helped me..my anxiety and panic attacks are few and far between since they left and for that reason, I am grateful that Hurricane Ike sent them here to seek refuge. Their homes did not suffer major damage and they are back to their daily routine.

Regardless, at the end of the day…there is no place like home and having your house back :)

I Am BACK :)



First, let me say I am okay, problems with multiple sclerosis is not what kept me away for a month. I thank those of you who commented on my last post and all of you who emailed checking on me. I just finished mid-terms yesterday and now I can get back to blogging. My life has been a whirlwind since Hurricane Ike and I am just now getting a break...stay tune I will catch you all up by the end of the weekend.

I will be stopping by soon to visit...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Fleeing From Hurricane Ike


(10 Sept. 2008) --- This picture of Hurricane Ike from earlier today was downlinked by the crew of the International Space Station, flying 220 statute miles above Earth. The center of the hurricane was near 23.8 degrees north latitude and 85.3 degrees west longitude, moving 300 degrees at 7 nautical miles per hour. The sustained winds were 80 nautical miles per hour with gusts to 100 nautical miles per hour and forecast to intensify. Photo Credit: NASA

I have been waiting on family to arrive from Beaumont Texas since 8:00a.m., It is now 10:30pm and they yet to arrive. The drive normally takes nine hours; I could not live in the path hurricanes travels. I wonder how people with chronic illnesses handle the stress of mandatory evacuations. It was less than 2-weeks ago they had to flee Hurricane Gustav. Hell, I wonder how people who are healthy handle the stress. I plan to ask my sister-in-law, nieces, and nephews while they are here this weekend.

When Hurricane Katrina and Rita hit the coast, my husband and I prepared for relatives or friends seeking refuge. Instead, family members got out of harms way by going to Shreveport. We could not blame them for not wanting to travel all the way to Tennessee when they were able to be out of harms way closer to home. That is why I was surprise when my husband called me early this morning telling me that some family members where coming here to escape Ike's path.

The past few days I was in my own world, listening to good jazz and meditating while I was readjusting my body being on morphine again. I had no idea Ike changed course, grew in size and strength. The last I heard Ike was heading towards Florida and was weakening. My brother-in-law called to see if his family made it here and I ask him why they where seeking refuge in Tennessee this time. He told me Ike was about 100 miles wide and his strength was increasing. He wanted to make sure his family was safe and told them to drive to Tennessee.

Damn you IKE! I was not ready to leave my serene world. More importantly, I hope IKE does not leave a massive path of destruction.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Letting Go Of A Lifelong Friendship



The woman in the front of me taught me a valuable lesson about female friendship in the workplace. I befriended her when I started my first job out of high school at General American Life Insurance. She was married with children and I was single with no children. Turns out she was jealous of me and talked badly about me behind my back, but always wanted to be around me. She taught me not to be trusting of females in the work place. I thought once I left elementary, middle, and high school women got over their jealous spiteful ways. Unfortunately, if they are like that in elementary, middle, and high school they are like that the remainder of their life until they grow up and mature into REAL women. The woman behind me is S.C. the only woman outside my older sister; I let into my inner space and shared my fears, hurts, pain, disappointments, joy, dreams, and plans for my life. That is why this is the most painful post to date.

There comes a time in life when you know in your heart that it is time to let go of someone you believed for many years was a friend. I was hurt very deeply, this week by the words of a person I thought was my oldest and dearest friend/sister for over thirty years. I literally cried while I read what she said. I could have retaliated with some vicious words that would have broken her down like a two-dollar bill. Out of respect and love, I kept it short, sweet and simple.

I always consider my oldest sister my best friend. When we were younger, we had our sisterly fights, mostly because I did not want her to tell me what to do. Yet, I always wanted a best girlfriend that was my own age. I thought I had that in S.C., I noticed our friendship was changing when her son got in trouble with the law. She became very depressed and she did what most women do when their son get in trouble the first time with the law, she went out of her way to get him out of trouble by borrowing $10,000 for legal fees.

I met S.C. when my family moved from South St. Louis to North St. Louis in the 60’s. I never ran with many girls because I was a tomboy with girlish charm. I did not become friends with S.C. until we started high school; she got tired of running with the crowd she ran with in elementary and middle school. I on the other hand was not a follower, I was my own person because I learned early in life that females were jealous hearted and catty and I did not play those games. I was a straight shooter, what you see is what you get and I had no time for the bullshit.

S.C. was my matron of honor in my first wedding; my daughters grew up with her son. We did everything together. She never married or kept a man very long because she was picky and to this day she is still picky. If a man, tooth looks wrong or his shoes are not right she had a problem with him. I use to tell her she was too damn meticulous. I watch her run off some good men over the years. We shared the good and the bad in our lives, but I never in a million years would have thought she was resentful of me. The following of what she said is what hurt me the most:

Our communication since K.C. has been in prison has changed, I'll be the first to admit it. It's because your conversation has always been about how well your daughters are doing and don't get me wrong I'm very happy for them. I can't brag about my child and frankly I got tried of listening to it. I'm sure it bother me only because of the heartbreak K.C. has delivered to me, we all expect great things from our children and believe me it's no reflection on "T" or "N", I just wanted as much for K.C.. You made one statement and I quote "I raised them well, so if I die tomorrow I know I did a wonderful job"! Well, I believe (K. and I) did a damn good job as well, but our children chose their own path and it's not because we didn't raise them just as well. I do understand being a proud parent, and believe me I want to share in the same conversations, but I couldn't so I was always left speechless. What I'm doing is what's giving me the only excitement besides my grandson, and I shared these things with you because not only are you my friend, but you have daughters that will someday walk down that path of marriage.

This was my response to her hurtful words:

S.C. it is not worth it anymore, your response displays your resentment. I have been nothing but supportive and encouraging in everything you do and have thought to do. If you think my email was tacky than so be it. I am not going to argue with you. I have never said you or "K" were bad MOTHERS, I have always said that you two were DAMN good mothers. Most importantly, I have said the choices your son and K.'s sons made was not a reflection on how you two are as mothers.

I do not need the stress of trying to repair something that was obviously never real. I wish you nothing but the best S.C. Goodbye


It hurt to realize that S.C. was resentful of my daughters’ success over the years, and to take my comment, "I raised them well, so if I die tomorrow I know I did a wonderful job"! out of context and personally take it as an attack on her as a mother. All it meant was I can die happy knowing my daughters will be able to take care of themselves. I became sick when my daughters were very young. That was my worst fear dying while they were still minors. I made preparations in case that happened. For S.C. to take that and twist it the way she did was wrong. She was out of line to bring my younger sister in it and speak for her.

I gave her and her son unconditional love, support and encouragement. She obviously forgot it was the letter I wrote on behalf of her son when he got in trouble again was what reduced the time the judge planned on giving him. She called and personally told me what the judge said, “I had already filled the paper work out to give K.C. the maximum amount of time, until I read the character letter I received from Mrs. D. S. Because of what she said about K.C. and his mother I was moved to reduce his time to seven years.”

I concluded that S.C. is carrying a lot of baggage, jealousy and resentment. I cannot do anything about what is in her heart and soul, she has to fix that and come to terms with it. It saddens me deeply that I can no longer consider her a dear friend/sister. I do not believe in holding on to something when it has revealed itself a LIE. My mom and older sister hope we can work it out one day, but I told them, “Her words cut as if she stabbed me with a knife and she has issues that she has to work out. I do not need the stress of repairing something I did not break.

I am okay with my decision especially after listening to T.D. Jakes this morning talking about baggage. Moreover, Rev. M. Elaine Flake put the final validation on my decision to let go of my thirty-year friendship. When she preach the following:

Envy and Jealousy are Sins Roman’s 1:29 and Gal 5:21 tell us that envy and jealousy are vial sins. Envy is defined as painful and resentful awareness of the advantage or accomplishment enjoyed by another person. It is resenting another person for having something we don’t have but want and the key word here is resent. Envy is void of resentment it is when resentment or competiveness enters into the envy that it becomes unhealthy and unacceptable. Jealousy which is also connected to envy is defined as the intolerance of rivalry it becomes sinful.

It is okay to rival it is okay to compete, but jealous becomes sinful when it grown out of a fear that someone is going to become equal with us, or replace us, or might become superior to us. Rather it is jealousy or envy we must realize that both can be and are sinful and to give into those feelings is to challenge God and God’s sovereignty.

We who are believers cannot afford to become entangled with envy and jealousy when we honestly understand that God has a plan and God has a place for all of us. In addition, when we give into envy it really means we are not pleased what God is doing in another person’s life and feels that God is not fair and just.

God in God's sovereignty gives us all as human beings, give us all our talents, our gifts and our abilities, and we that know God knows that God will bless whom God will bless. God will use whom God will use. God will elevate whom God will elevate, and there comes a time in all of our lives that if we trust God. We just have to decide that God has a bigger plan and when we have questions when we are questioning God we need to turn to Isaiah 55:8-9


What I was thinking when I received those hurtful words from S.C. both T.D. Jakes and Rev. Elaine Flake preach it this morning. I am at peace with my decision and I honestly pray S.C. renew her spirit before it is too late.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Feel Good Sunday

Never Would Have Made It

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Back On Track



Day two of having the Solu-Medrol infusion is over and tomorrow I can finally take the IV out of my hand. I am feeling so much better; I can move my head again and walk without the use of a cane. I am not going to lie, I am too vain to be walking around with a cane and I will do whatever it takes not to have to use it more than I have to. I am a realist and I know the day might come where I will have to use more frequently than I do know, but until then I am going to move around everyday I use of my legs. I was devastated when I had to stop wearing my three-inch heels. Hell, I catch grief from my doctors coming in with a one-inch heel. If you were, a shoe fanatic as if I am you would know how I feel. If I told you how many pairs of three inch heels I had to replace you would think I was nuts. Therefore, I will not reveal how many pair of shoes I own :)

This time around, the only problem I had with the Solu-Medrol was severe stomach cramping the first day. Today I was energize and I got a lot things accomplished around the house and caught up on reading chapters from my online History II class. My neurologist advised I go back on the Fentanyl patch. I discussed the emotional incident I had in May and I stopped in June thinking the emotional breakdown was from the Fentanyl patch. She had a point about the Fentanyl patch did keep my pain level in control because I was getting a daily dose of pain medication, I did not have daily tingles and numbness, and I did not have an exacerbations while I was wearing the Fentanyl patch. She also said that she is not comfortable with how many Lortab I have to take. With the kind of pain I suffer, I need daily 24/7 dosage of pain medicine going into my system.

I talked with a pharmacist and ask him if the Fentanyl could have been the cause of my emotional breakdown in May, he said Fentanyl does not cause that kind of reaction and that it could have been another medication I was taking. After that incident, I stopped taking all the medication. I do not plan to start my Fentanyl patch immediately because I am feeling fine from the Solu-Medrol. My plan is to take my Copaxone injection daily, and my Fentanyl patch. When it is time to put another Fentanyl patch on the third day I will skip a day or two then put another patch on.

I know my body better than anyone does and I believe this plan is best for me. My doctors want me to take an anti-depressant, but I am not willing to get back on an anti-depressant. The side effects of the anti-depressant have mental mood changes. Therefore, if it was not the Fentanyl that caused my emotional breakdown in May, it had to be the anti-depressant. If I feel, I need to go on an anti-depressant than I will make that decision when the time comes. The Fentanyl patch has dangerous side-effects, but you have to take the good with the bad and I am willing to take that chance again because it did work for me.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Republican Party Double Standards Exposed




Jon Stewart EXPOSES the double standards of the Republican Party. Check out the the written and video tape over at The Huffington Post.

CLASSIC!

Forget all that clicking above click straight to the video

Thursday, September 4, 2008

DISGUSTING



The person that did this to an EIGHT DAY OLD BABY deserves to DIE.

CLICK ON RELATED VIDEO TO LISTEN TO THE NEWS REPORT

Solu-Medrol to the Rescue


I believe MS is a jealous disease. Remember when my body felt split in half, eventually my right side was slowing mending back to my left, but it still feel different from my left side, just not as intense from when I first talked about it. Two weeks ago, the right side of my head down through my neck and slightly below my right shoulder was becoming more painful than the other part of my right side. In the beginning I brushed it off thinking maybe I slept wrong, but as the days went by the pain intensified to the point, I could not move my head.

Still not wanting to believe it was an exacerbation creeping up on me. I start taking my Lortab for the pain and Zanaflex for the spasticity. I thought I had it under control because the drugs were working. I continued with my life attending the candidate I support for Mayor meetings and rallies. With the holiday, approaching I was ecstatic that my youngest daughter was coming home and I would have all my girls home for the holiday. I start preparing all of their favorite foods and while I was at it, I cooked collard greens and pinto beans to freeze for later use.

Nothing was going to stop me from enjoying my girls and grandson Labor Day weekend; it has been since July, that all of my girls were in one room. I was overjoyed of having my family together, that is when I realized MS is a jealous disease, my pain and spasticity that Lortab and Zanaflex had in control was being overpowered. I was no longer getting relief from the drugs. I put on a brave face and enjoyed my family; I REFUSED to lie in bed during their visit because of how I was feeling. I am paying the price now for not giving in to symptoms of MS that tried to take my joy away. Had I given in to MS I know I would have become depressed. Exacerbations had robbed me of many fun times with my family that put me in a depress state of mind. After my last bout of depression, I developed an attitude of fight or die and I am not dying anytime soon.

When I woke up Sunday morning, I could not walk; the pain and spasticity in my head went into my upper right hip. MS was showing me it could take me down no matter how hard I was fighting. The drugs were no longer helping the pain; I was wishing I never stopped taking morphine. I finally waved the white flag and called my neurologist, I need reinforcement. This MS exacerbation was not going anywhere soon. I no longer could move my head, or walk without the use of my cane, and the pain was too intense.

Solu-Medrol to the rescue, today is the first day of three 1000mg of steroids. (I am hoping for that high energy euphoria feeling this time around. The last time I had steroids I was one angry agitated witch.) Symptoms of MS did not win this go round...

I WON this battle because I enjoyed my family the holiday weekend.



Friday, August 29, 2008

Feel Good Sunday Coming At You Early

Because of the Holiday and my BABY is coming home. I am posting my Feel Good Sunday Post today.

ENJOY your Holiday and be SAFE

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Are You Willing To Donate Your Brain Tissue For Research



Hmmm, I do not completely trust the National Data MS Registry Act. Lisa E. of Brass and Ivory goes into details about the National Data MS Registry Act. Is this the beginning of our government keeping track of individuals based on the disease they live with? I do not see the relevance of keeping surveillance on people living with MS will bring about a possible cure. I do know because of ones medical record that is compiled as a credit report can prevent you from getting life insurance. It happened to me when I sought to buy another policy. Had I not had life insurance already I would not have any today and that is why I advice any young person to seek outside life insurance from your job because you never know what life will throw at you.

Now, researchers need brain tissue and spinal fluid from MS’ers because it has the potential to tell us more about MS. Are you willing to leave brain tissue for research? I asked myself that since I read about researchers needing brain tissue from my local MS Chapter September newsletter. After pondering if, I want to donate a piece of my brain for research. I decided I would leave a little piece of my brain tissue and some spinal fluid for science. I want to do this for my daughters, their children, and other family members. Furthermore, I would be gone and why not help scientist understand MS and help further their research in finding a cure for MS.

MS could be genetic and if leaving a piece of my brain and some spinal fluid can possibly help scientist learn more about MS and hopefully one day find a cure from the research than I am all for it. I do not wish living with MS on anyone. It is bad enough dealing with RRMS and not knowing the day when MS go into the SPMS.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Witnessing History



To witness the nomination of Barack Obama an African American for President of the United States and to hear him speak tonight words cannot describe how I feel. For this to happen on the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream" speech” is priceless.

THANK YOU AMERICA FOR PROGRESSING FORWARD…

YES WE CAN!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Kellogg's Quick Response




I did not expect to receive a response so soon from Kellogg's. I feel a lot better knowing the black embedded spot inside the cream of my cookie was not an insect. CLICK ON IMAGE TO READ RESPONSE

I was satisfied with the two free coupons I received when they sent me the packaging to return the tainted cookie. I feel confident I can go back to buying their high quality products because it was only one cookie that had a black embedded spot. I also appreciate them sending me two more coupons and two DVD's City Slickers and Anna and the King. They are two good picks because I am a fan of Jodie Foster and Billy Crystal...How did they know? :)

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Feel Good Sunday

A SONG FOR YOU
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Do you believe in karma?

A month ago, my husband found someone's PDA at the service station and brought it home. I told him, "That thing could hold someone's hold life in it. We need to find out who it belongs to". He said, "I am not going to go through the trouble of finding out who this belong to". I asked, "What are you going to do with it". He said, "Nothing". I told him, "I was going to find out who it belongs to and call them". "Do what you want", was his reply.

For the world of me, I could not figure out how to operate the phone or anything else on the PDA. I eventually gave up and kept it near me in the case someone calls the number. I figured someone would eventually call. A few hours later that day someone finally called, but I could not figure out how to answer it. I figured how to answer the phone around the fourth time the phone ranged. I hurried up and said, "Don't hang up my husband found this phone and I am trying to find out who it belongs to". The woman on the other end said, "It's my boyfriend phone that is why I kept calling hoping someone would answer".

She was excited someone not looking to keep it found the PDA and I met them in a public place to return it. The man who owned the PDA said, "Thank you so much, you have no idea how you saved my life". I laughed and told him, "I told my husband someone life is probably stored in that".

Who would have known a month later, I would loose my prescription eyeglasses and wallet. That is what happened Friday. I did not realize I had lost my glasses and wallet until I came home an hour later. I took off my prescription sunglasses and reached into my purse for my eyeglasses, only to discover they were not in there. I dumped my whole purse and began to panic when I realized they were gone. I went and searched inside my car, thinking maybe that they dropped out of my purse. Nothing, thankfully, I only went to two places while I was out. I discovered where I left my eyeglasses after calling the establishments I had been.

I immediately went to retrieve my eyeglasses and got the shock of my life. He also handed me my wallet, I had no idea I did not have my wallet. He told me two different people turned both into him. I checked my wallet and everything was still in it, I thanked God and immediately thought about my good deed of making sure I found the owner of the PDA my husband found a month ago.

What bothered me was I could not recall how I could have lost my eyeglasses and wallet. I finally stopped stressing about how I could have lost something so important because it was driving me...it is starting to drive me while I am typing this, but I am letting go. The important thing is that I have them both and because I did a good deed a month ago, yesterday a good deed was returned to me.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

It is About to Get Dirty



UPDATE:

I removed the original post because I noticed new wondering eyes to my blog from my city. This post would have revealed the identity of one of my sources and to leave it up would be irresponsible of me.


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The Wait Is Finally Over

My Cervical Spine


I can now breathe a sigh of relief; I was putting off going for an MRI of my cervical post-spine and thoracic-spine because I did not want to know if lesions formed on my spine. I received the results of my and MRI and I ecstatic that I do not have any lesions and I have no sign of arthritis.

The right half of my body is slowly connecting back to the left half of my body. I am convinced my body split in half because of the stress behind the death of my mother-in-law and the extreme heat. Although I believed stress and heat was the cause of my body splitting in half. My doctor did the right thing having me take an MRI to rule out the possibility of my MS advancing to my spine. I now have a peace of mind when I suffer pain surrounding my spine area that I do not have any lesions and it is just the symptoms of MS kicking my ass for not keeping my stress in check and being in the heat too long.

My Thoracic-Spine

Sunday, August 17, 2008

This Feel Good Sunday Is Dedicated To My Fellow MS Bloggers Who Are Going Through Some Tough Physical Symptoms Right Now

YOU CAN MAKE IT...

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Oh broken promises
And shattered dreams
No hope it seems
Still I believe
That I can make it
By faith I am leading
The King and I
I will survive
And I know I can make it

I can make it
Through the sun shining rain
Make it through my sickness and pain
Make it when they scandalize my name
Make it just as long as the Lord is on my side
Everything I know will be alright
I can make, make it

Out in the cold,
No place to go
Still there is hope
Where the doors are closed
That I, I can make it

I can make it
You can make when mother is gone
Make it
Sometime you may feel like you're all alone
Make it
You don't have nobody to depend on
Make it
Always remember God is still on the throne
I can make it
The enemy wants all of us to fail
Make it
But God is gonna make us the head and not the tail
Make it
All you gotta do is make up in your mind to make it
Make it
You can make it

Just as long as the Lord
Just as long as the Lord
Is on my side
The Lord is on my side
Everything I know
Everything I know
Will be alright
It's gonna be alright
It's gonna be alright
Just as long as that Lord
Just as long as that Lord, yes
Is on my side
Is walking right by my side
Everything I know
Everything that I know, yes I know
Will be alright
It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright, hey

Monday, August 11, 2008

Not So Delightful



I just ended my call with a Kellogg CSR this morning about my experience last night with one of my favorite Keebler brand cookies “Dipping Delights Cheesecake Sandwich Cookies”. Last night I had a sweet craving and I went and opened my newly purchased bag of Dipping Delights. I joyfully pulled out three sandwich cookies to devour.

I have a ritual when I eat sandwich cookies; I open the cookie and eat the side without cream first then slowly eat the creamed side. I was in heaven enjoying the taste of my Keebler cookie until I opened the third sandwich cookie.

At first, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw a black spot in the cream of my cookie. I pulled my eyeglasses off and closely looked to see if it was something stirred in the cream. I was sick to my stomach when I realized it was something embedded in the cream. It was horrifying wondering about the first two cookies I consumed that I vomit my stomach contents.

I could not let this go, I decided first I was going to call Kellogg Monday morning and I was going to return the bag back to the Commissary where I purchased it for a full refund on Tuesday because they are closed on Monday. The first thing the Kellogg CSR offered was replacement coupons; I really did not give a damn about replacement coupons. I told her, “I would not be purchasing Dipping Delights again after that experience.” As if I really cared, she informed me the coupons were good for any Keebler product. “The purpose of me calling is to inform Kellogg of what I saw in my cookie and I really did not care about the replacement coupons, I plan to take it back to the commissary where I purchased it to let them see what was in the cookie.” She offered, "You could return the cookie back to Kellogg and we will analyze what it is in the cookie and we will send you a report."

I did not see any harm in that because if I take the bag of cookies back to the store they would just refund my money and I would never know what it is in the tainted cookie. I also thought it was best to send it back to them so they could investigate what it is and check out the conditions of the plant it came from. In my mind, what if someone does not open his or her sandwich cookies as I do and ingest a cookie with what I found inside of mine.

I told the CSR that I plan to blog about my experience with their cookie. She asked, “Are you seeking something.” I replied, “What do you mean am I seeking something.” She responded, “Do you plan to take this further.” Oh, now I know what she was thinking. I said, “If I was seeking something I would not have called Kellogg, I am taking you at your word that Kellogg will analyze what is in the cookie I am returning and send me an honest report. Yes, I was horrified when I saw the black spot in the cream of my cooking and it made me sick to my stomach knowing I ate two cookies before that discovery. I plan to blog about it because it happened to me and I will never eat another Dipping Delight Cream Cheese Sandwich Cookie.”

IMO, everything thing is not a lawsuit, it is irresponsible to not report what I found in my cookie. What if after Kellogg does their analysis of what was in my cookie and found it could be harmful to others. The responsible thing for Kellogg to do is recall that batch of cookies. If I discovered it in my bag it is possible that batch of cookie from the plant where it was made could have some serious quality control problems and what I found in my cookie could be lurking in other packages.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Rest In Peace Isaac Hayes


Heaven called home two talented souls this weekend. Memphis is singing the blues with the lost of Isaac Hayes. Below are my favorite songs by Isaac Hayes…

Walk On By

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By The Time I Get To Phoenix



I Stand Accused

Feel Good Sunday

Join me in putting up a Feel Good Sunday music video, website link, poem, or story.

Time to start our week FEELING GOOD…ENJOY
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Accountability


Those of you who been reading my blog for a while may recall a few post I posted about what I do in my community. I revealed a threatening incident against me, but as I thought about it. My blog is about living with ms and what I do to keep the Mayor office of my town accountable did not belong on my blog.

Well, it is heating up again because we are in an election year and I have given my four-year report card that is not in the best interest of the incumbent that is reported in the inaugural issue of my monthly Did-U-Know Newsletter. Therefore, my posting will not be as regular as it use to be, but I will try to put something up once a week. I will be back on my blog posting regular again after the election and I will make my rounds on the blogosphere when time allows it.

Stay HEALTHY

Blindersoff aka Debra

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Heaven Is Laughing


I knew he was ill, but I did not now from what. I was devastated to hear The Mac Man died this morning. I did not believe it at first because it was rumored last week he had died. Unfortunately, today was not a rumor and to learn he was ill with the same disease my friend had made my day gloomier.

Bernie you were called home too soon…Rest In Peace Mac Man

One of the Original Kings of Comedy

Thursday, July 31, 2008

2009 MS SCHOLARSHIP AWARD


I am a firm believer in EDUCATION...It was a blessing to have all my daughters go to college on scholarships. The advantage searching for scholarships are:

1. You do not have to spend all your money or take out parent loans.

2. Your child will not be thousands and thousands of dollars in debt when they graduate college.

I use to have a website called "DID U KNOW" that listed hundreds of scholarships, but since my children graduated college, I no longer maintain that website. I try to let you MS'ers with college bound children or MS'ers who are seeking to go to college for the first time know about the National MS Society Scholarship in advance.

The Society established its scholarship program in 2003 and the program continues to grow in terms of both support and scholarships awarded. In its first year of operation, the program awarded 36 scholarships for a total of $68,000; in 2008, a total of $1.14 million was awarded to 518 scholars.

2009 Scholarships — Scholarship applications for 2009 awards will be available October 1, 2008. Applications may be submitted from October 15, 2008 through January 15, 2009 and scholars receive notice in May 2009.

The application form will be available on this site in October. It will remain posted until the closing date (Jan. 15). National MS Society chapters will also have applications. Contact your chapter by calling 1-800-344-4867.

CLICK HERE FOR FAQ

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Split In Half


Daughter: “Mom are you okay.”

Me: “Yes, I am okay why you ask.”

Daughter: “You do not look well and you are walking funny.”

Me: “To be honest, I feel as if I am split in half.” “I have been trying to ignore I am having problems with my right leg, but now the entire right side of my body feels different from my left.”
My daughter looks at me very hard then she says, “You know the right side of your face does look weaker than the left.” I gasp, “You are kidding me” with a straight face she said, “No I am not, that is why I asked if you are okay because you looked off to me today and you are moving around the house like you are okay, but I can tell you are not. Sit down and tell me what needs to be done, I will take care of it.”

A relief came over me because I could now tell my family how I have been feeling since we been home from Texas. I been going acting like all is well, but deep down I knew my body was going through changes. I came home from Texas anxious to get back to blogging and visiting my virtual MS blogging buddies site and my other favorite non MS blog sites that I push what was going on with my body out of my mind.

When I was in Texas during the first two weeks in July, I blamed Texas HEAT and HUMIDITY on the new affliction my body was experiencing. Not only did I have to deal with a summer cold that flared my MS, I quietly suffered with a debilitating pain that hit me in on my right side. When I would step on my right leg, a lightening bolt pain would hit me directly in the small of my back on the right side and forcibly radiate down my right leg that knocked me off balance. I could not walk, I tried to take a step again and the same thing happened. Instead of alarming my family I tearfully went to bed and prayed to God, “Please do not let MS rob me of my mobility NOW, not NOW with all that is going on with “E” he would not be able to handle this NOW. I am aware of what MS can take from me, but this is not the time. Please take what is afflicting my body right now away and while you are at it take this cold with you.”

I could not reveal what was happening to me because my family was grieving the lost of Moma Nora. I was able to hide what was happening because everyone already knew I was feeling bad from my summer cold. Fortunately, my prayer was answered the temporary lost of the use of my right leg was brief. I was happy to leave the Texas HEAT and HUMIDTY behind, but a heat wave was waiting for me when we returned to Tennessee. My summer cold and MS flare was better when I returned home and I did not experience that new affliction I experienced in Texas. I thought to myself, “It must have been the heat that caused the right side of my body to do what it did in Texas.”

Sadly, that was not the case. I cannot get angry that the new affliction my body was feeling returned because at the end of the day my prayer was answered God took it away while I was in Texas. I tried to go about my day by ignoring how painful and weak the right side of my body felt. I literally felt like two people and I still feel that way as I type this blog post. The left side of my body feels normal, I cannot say the same for my right side...imagine this:

On the right side of my body I have a headache, my eye feels lazy, my arm have a lightning bolt pain striking me above my elbow, and my back have radiating pain shooting through it. My hip has a standing sharp pain in the joint that connects my hip and leg bone, and to make matters worse, my leg feels numb as if it is being weighed down by a ton of bricks.

I start feeling this way on the third day upon my returned from Texas, I thought if I was still wearing the Fentanyl patch I probably would not be feeling none of this. That is what I LOVED about the Fentanyl patch, I did not felt ANYTHING, and I was PAIN FREE. I have been tempted to call my doctor for a prescription, but instead I have been taking Lortab 10mg to get some relief from the pain when I could no longer tolerate it.

If the networks ever have a game show on who could tolerate pain the longest before taking something for it I would probably win.

I went to see my neurologist yesterday and I am scheduled to have a MRI Tuesday of my C-Spine and T-Spine to check and see if I developed lesions on the spine. I am optimistic that my MRI will be negative and I am mentally prepared to accept the worse case scenario.

I am holding on to the belief it is the HEAT that is causing my body to temporarily split in half and the two sides will unite in harmony once this heat wave is over.




Sunday, July 20, 2008

Unconditional Love

A disabled young man wanted to compete in the triathlons and HE DID

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The complete story of Team Hoyt


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Critical Mistake


While I was in Texas, for the first time in years I came down with a bad summer cold the second day I arrived in Texas. The last thing I needed was to be sick when my husband needed me during the sad event as to why we were in Texas.

By my fourth day in Texas, the cold was flaring my MS, but I came prepared in case my MS flared. My neurologist prescribed me a Medrol -Dospak if I start to experience an exacerbation. The steroids kept my exacerbation symptoms in check, but the summer cold was getting worse. So, I called my primary care doctor and explained my symptoms. She prescribed an antibiotic and Bidex for my cough and congestion. I gave the number to the closest pharmacy, which was CVS Pharmacy.

When my husband and I arrived to the pharmacy, the pharmacist tech with a strange look on her face told me, “we had your antibiotic, but we only had one-day supply of your other prescription. To get you started we have given you the one day supply and will have the rest tomorrow.” My reply was, “Okay” because I did not see a problem with that and the way I was feeling I wanted to get started on taking something so, I could feel better.

As my husband and I drove off, he suggests I get started on my medication. Before I take anything I look at what I have, when I open the bottle for Bidex, I was in for a shock. I immediately knew it was not Bidex because Bidex is a white tablet and what I had were capsules. I read the bottle and the bottle said Videx, I thought to myself maybe Bidex comes in a capsule also because the spelling was off by one letter. As I read the medication pamphlet, I was flabbergasted the pharmacy had given me THE WRONG MEDICATION.

We immediately turned the car around and went back to CVS, as we were driving back, I was on the phone to my primary care doctor. She was pissed when I told her what they had given me. Once I made it back into the pharmacy to address their ERROR my doctor had already called them back. I know mistakes can happen, to NOT acknowledge your mistake as your fault is UNACCEPTABLE.

That is exactly what the employees in the pharmacy department at CVS did. First, the pharmacist did not come and talk to me about HIS error because no matter what happens in a pharmacy department the blame falls on the pharmacist. The pharmacist tech that checked me out tried to blame my doctor for their error, she said, “If your doctor’s office had spelled it out this would not have happened”. I looked at her as if she had lost her freaking mind and before I knew it, I went off. I said, “You have some freaking nerves to blame my doctor’s office for your mistake. By me not being a regular customer and the prescription was coming from a doctor in another state. It WAS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to verify if they said Bidex or Videx, especially since the TWO DRUGS HAVE EXTREME DIFFERENT MEDICAL PURPOSES. Had I taken the capsule you given me the circumstances would be DIFFERENT! Hell, now I understand the crazy ass look you gave me when you told me you had only one-day supply, you thought I had HIV!”

I called CVS headquarters the next day to file an official complaint and my doctor did not prescribe me anything after that grave error, she instructed me to take Mucinex and Delsym since I also had some antibiotics. My cold is gone and my cough is getting better now that I have some Tussionex, which is the only thing that rid me of a bad cough.

I personally will NEVER use a CVS Pharmacy agian. If they could be that careless with a prescription called into their store for a first time customer from a different state. I hate to think how careless they are with their regular customers.

ALWAYS check your meds carefully before consuming.