Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Music Is Good For The Soul

Like clock work every morning when I was a young girl waking up in the morning for school, the first song played on the radio station. God works in mysterious ways; little did I know the first song would have such a profound meaning to me today at this very moment. The second song was my anthem when I was in a terrible first marriage. It brought me through the darkest moments in my life and it will bring me through the darkest moments of multiple sclerosis.

I know longer ask why me for being stricken with multiple sclerosis. I accepted my faith and I try to live the most productive life I can, but it just seems as if there is a force that try to keep you down. That force for me is PAIN, every time I think I have conquered or found a remedy to help me with my PAIN it rears it's head in another direction.

I promised myself when I allowed PAIN to get the best of me in July I would NEVER EVER get that desperate to rid myself of PAIN. Therefore, this PAIN in my HEAD that is whipping my a** step back because I will not allow you to get the best of me. Because...

Jesus Is The Best Thing


I Will Survive

Side personal message to this second video.

Ladies and men (if it applies)...listen carefully to the words in "I Will Survive" if you are in an unfulfilling, abusive relationship this song will eventually get through to you. It will give you the strength to move on and it is best to move on while you still have love in your heart. If you have children don't waste it on someone because of the children, you will be doing them more harm than good if you stay.

Yes, it is scary to step out on your own especially if you entered the relationship as one and you are leaving with an additional two (in my case). As I look back leaving my daughters father when they were very young was the bravest act in my life. Had I listen to my father and stayed because of the children I might have ended up like Nicole Brwon Simpson or Mary Winkler and Men you can end up like many of the men showcased on "Snapped".

You can't change the other person in a bad relationship; you can only inventory yourself and changed your negative behavior you may have adapted in the unhealthy relationship. I always prayed for a loving man and I started to think they did not exist, that's only in the movies. I thank God everyday I took the leap of faith to open my heart again because the way my present husband and I met, it was meant to be.

I literally had one foot out the door because I did not see a mutual friend of ours at the time at her birthday party. It was he my (soul-mate) who located our mutual friend to stop me from leaving the party because I did not see her after arriving and searching the establishment looking for her. You see my husband and I did not travel the same social circle that night was the first and could have been the last night we would have had a chance meeting.

Because of him my daughters had an upbringing with a man that is more their father than their biological father could ever be. I will never understand a man or women who pull their emotional support from a child when the relationship ends. I thank GOD every day for stopping me from leaving that birthday party in September 1991. When I allowed opening my heart again and eventually introducing my soul mate to my daughters nine months later, my life forever changed. I allowed myself to love again without taking my past baggage and baggage with me.

I was blessed with a man who was not afraid to show his love me and my daughters and did the same with his son and daughter. He provided me with a man that did not pull his emotional support from his biological children. He provided me with a man who rescued his children from a mother who did not and would not protect them from the man in her life. He provided me with a man who worked and works hard to provide his family with a comfortable life and who wasn't afraid to tell us NO. He provided me with the strongest, smartest, loving, and compassionate man I know. Who would have thought I would be living my dreams of a perfect relationship while I live with an illness that is so unpredictable it would make most people run for the border.

If he could I know he would take away my PAIN from ms and take it upon him so I could be pain free. The words in the song "I Will Survive" saved my life in more ways than one. Finally, heed the words in the song and move on from an unhealthy relationship.


mdmhvonpa said...

I've never had to endure a relationship like that ... so I am more of a 'Ride of the Valkyries' and 'Battle Hymn of the Republic' sort of guy.

Blinders Off said...

Some interpretations of your song choices are not flattering and I was a little thrown back. Then I decided not to read too much into it, your character doesn’t fit the bill. Finally, I am happy that you never endured a terrible relationship. Anyone who puts family first is a good catch in my opinion and I am sure your other half realizes that.