Thursday, October 18, 2007
Still I Rise
Maya Angelou’s poem “Still I Rise”
gave me strength living in America as a black woman, but today it also gives me strength living with multiple sclerosis. I considered myself in a fight for my life the day I was told I had MS. All I could vision on my tearful ride home from the neurologist office was Richard Pryor. After thinking of Richard which I knew the end was near for him, I thought about Montel Williams. I do not know about others who live with MS, but for me every day is a struggle. I fight every day just to get moving, that’s why I try to stay busy doing something. I have met and know several people with MS who had given up and they are now just wasting away. They are bed ridden, blind or sitting in a wheel chair sooner by giving up instead of fighting. By looking at me from the outside you wouldn’t know I have MS, which is why I tell people do not judge a book by its cover.
I want to continue to have the use of my legs, eyes, and not be totally depended on my family because I am bed ridden. I know that is my future, but I also know as long as I keep a positive attitude and a fighting spirit I will delay it for years or I just might never experience going blind, loosing the use of my legs or become bedridden all the things I fear most living with MS. That is why I know I have to continue to fight the invisible symptoms o MS no matter what the risks are from the medications.
The month of November is a busy month for me and MS is trying to rear its ugly head. In this order, as President of a book club I have Dwight Fryer, author of The Legend of Quito Road as The Circle of Friends Book Club guest for a reading and book signing to prepare for, I have family coming to town for the Thanksgiving holiday, and finally I have my step daughter wedding to prepare for and attend the Sunday after Thanksgiving.
The Duragesic patch and Cymbalta is giving me relieve from pain and tingles, but lately I am having terrible headaches and spasticity is now creeping in my body. It’s like my body knows I have plans and its trying to bring me down. I am good at giving others good advice, but it’s time for me to take my own advice. That’s why I blog to remind myself of that fighting spirit that’s in me, as another way to communicate to my family on how I am feeling, and hopefully to inspire others not to give up.
I am not going to lie my experience with IPIR scared the hell out of me and I wimped out taking my shot last night. I got to thinking about Still I Rise and from that I regained a new strength. I WILL be taking my shot tonight and I WILL NOT let the rising symptoms from MS that is rearing its head take me out. Knowledge is Power and I gained enough knowledge about how to handle my MS to battle my symptoms when they creep up on me.
I am in a fight, but in the end STILL I RISE…I RISE!