Friday, April 18, 2008
Stop The Pressuring
My mind is made up! I do not want to start another treatment to slow the progression of multiple sclerosis right now. Give me a break, I was the one who felt like I was dying when Copaxone crushed my chest, took my breath away, and blotted my body with hives that itch I was living in an ant hole.
Doctor “"D", you need to get started on another treatment right away."
Me “I do not want to start another treatment right now, I need a break from injecting myself, and I do not feel my body can handle starting a new treatment right now."
Husband “Have you ever known me lost for words"
Husband "For the first time in my life I was lost for words, seeing you holding your chest and trying to breathe. It hurt me to see you like that and I could not do anything for you. I was scared of the thought of being without you."
Me "I did notice something different about you when I was in crisis, I was glad you were home because when you are near I feel safe whenever I am feeling bad. I am sorry I scared you, but I decided not to take another treatment to slow the progression of my MS."
Husband "You can't do that, at least we know Copaxone has been working. You have not had any new lesions since you have been taking it. What about me? Okay, I can understand why you feel that way, but take a few days to think about this some more."
Nurse calling for the doctor again Tuesday, Doctor, "D, have you decided what you are going to do, you really need to start a new treatment right away. You have been doing so well and I do not want you not be on a treatment. You have been on Copaxone for about five years and it did prove to work when you were on it. That is the purpose of being on a treatment to slow the progression of the disease."
Me "Dr. "P", I do not want to start another treatment right now; I am shell shock over what happened last week. I can tell you this, I definitely do not want to take the treatments that require me injecting myself, therefore, the only choice I have is Tysabri. When I am ready again, I will take Tysabri".
Doctor "Good, come into my office this week so we can start the process."
Me "I have an appointment already for May 2; we can do all that then."
Doctor “We should not wait until then because we have to ask you a series of question to start Tysabri (I wonder what that is about) and file insurance papers. Approval can take up to five weeks if we wait until your May appoint, it would be around June before you can have your first infusion."
Me “I have no problem with that."
She was soo insistent, I gave in and my appointment is this morning. I do not like the feeling of being pressured and that is how I feel right now. I know my doctor means well, but she did pressure me into this appointment. I am going with how I feel and I will not be making that appointment this morning. I will see her on my original scheduled appointment...this is my life not hers.
At least my husband is no longer pressuring me; he is willing to accept whatever decision I make. He has been helpful with a suggestion that I am thinking about trying before starting a new treatment.