Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Split In Half


Daughter: “Mom are you okay.”

Me: “Yes, I am okay why you ask.”

Daughter: “You do not look well and you are walking funny.”

Me: “To be honest, I feel as if I am split in half.” “I have been trying to ignore I am having problems with my right leg, but now the entire right side of my body feels different from my left.”
My daughter looks at me very hard then she says, “You know the right side of your face does look weaker than the left.” I gasp, “You are kidding me” with a straight face she said, “No I am not, that is why I asked if you are okay because you looked off to me today and you are moving around the house like you are okay, but I can tell you are not. Sit down and tell me what needs to be done, I will take care of it.”

A relief came over me because I could now tell my family how I have been feeling since we been home from Texas. I been going acting like all is well, but deep down I knew my body was going through changes. I came home from Texas anxious to get back to blogging and visiting my virtual MS blogging buddies site and my other favorite non MS blog sites that I push what was going on with my body out of my mind.

When I was in Texas during the first two weeks in July, I blamed Texas HEAT and HUMIDITY on the new affliction my body was experiencing. Not only did I have to deal with a summer cold that flared my MS, I quietly suffered with a debilitating pain that hit me in on my right side. When I would step on my right leg, a lightening bolt pain would hit me directly in the small of my back on the right side and forcibly radiate down my right leg that knocked me off balance. I could not walk, I tried to take a step again and the same thing happened. Instead of alarming my family I tearfully went to bed and prayed to God, “Please do not let MS rob me of my mobility NOW, not NOW with all that is going on with “E” he would not be able to handle this NOW. I am aware of what MS can take from me, but this is not the time. Please take what is afflicting my body right now away and while you are at it take this cold with you.”

I could not reveal what was happening to me because my family was grieving the lost of Moma Nora. I was able to hide what was happening because everyone already knew I was feeling bad from my summer cold. Fortunately, my prayer was answered the temporary lost of the use of my right leg was brief. I was happy to leave the Texas HEAT and HUMIDTY behind, but a heat wave was waiting for me when we returned to Tennessee. My summer cold and MS flare was better when I returned home and I did not experience that new affliction I experienced in Texas. I thought to myself, “It must have been the heat that caused the right side of my body to do what it did in Texas.”

Sadly, that was not the case. I cannot get angry that the new affliction my body was feeling returned because at the end of the day my prayer was answered God took it away while I was in Texas. I tried to go about my day by ignoring how painful and weak the right side of my body felt. I literally felt like two people and I still feel that way as I type this blog post. The left side of my body feels normal, I cannot say the same for my right side...imagine this:

On the right side of my body I have a headache, my eye feels lazy, my arm have a lightning bolt pain striking me above my elbow, and my back have radiating pain shooting through it. My hip has a standing sharp pain in the joint that connects my hip and leg bone, and to make matters worse, my leg feels numb as if it is being weighed down by a ton of bricks.

I start feeling this way on the third day upon my returned from Texas, I thought if I was still wearing the Fentanyl patch I probably would not be feeling none of this. That is what I LOVED about the Fentanyl patch, I did not felt ANYTHING, and I was PAIN FREE. I have been tempted to call my doctor for a prescription, but instead I have been taking Lortab 10mg to get some relief from the pain when I could no longer tolerate it.

If the networks ever have a game show on who could tolerate pain the longest before taking something for it I would probably win.

I went to see my neurologist yesterday and I am scheduled to have a MRI Tuesday of my C-Spine and T-Spine to check and see if I developed lesions on the spine. I am optimistic that my MRI will be negative and I am mentally prepared to accept the worse case scenario.

I am holding on to the belief it is the HEAT that is causing my body to temporarily split in half and the two sides will unite in harmony once this heat wave is over.




11 comments:

Shauna said...

Hopefully it's just the cold and the heat that prompted these symptoms and you will recover quickly. Heat and humidity can slow me down to the speed of molasses.

Sending good thoughts your way...

S.

LISA EMRICH said...

I'm with Shauna on this. Hoping it's temporary and the worse it would require is a round of steroids. Keep cool and near the A/C.

Thinking about ya.

Denver Refashionista said...

Sorry you are feeling awful. The leg and low back pain sounds like something is pinching your sciatic nerve. Maybe the doctor can look into that.
I have been having a lot of luck with acupuncture. Ever tried it? If not, I recommend considering going in for a treatment. They may be able to help balance your body.
I hope the MRI goes smoothly.

Tyra said...

I agree with Denver about trying acupuncture. What do you have to lose behind trying it out. You know I'm all for tyring new things. Also, I suggust you use your cane so you don't put to much on your right side.

Love you mom,

p.s. did you start the exercie yet???? I know you get on it:)

Nicole said...

Mom, please start speaking up...no request is too much!
Love you!

Diane J Standiford said...

Even MS on the spine is not the end. My sympathy for your loss. Priorities. MS is horrible, but yu are stronger than it. Prayers your way.

~ Charlene S Noto said...

Seconds on the wonderful suggestions. The sharp pain made me think of the sciatic nerve too since your first description sounded exactly like what I was talking about in my blog a few days ago...however the others seem to rule that out. I'm glad you talked with the doctor and VERY glad you let your family know what was happening to you. MS can be scary enough without having someone to hold on to at times. I agree on acupunture too. It can be very good at alleviating pain.

I'm glad you're having it checked out and am with the others on the hope that it's a heat/temporary thing. Hang in there. ((oodles of hugs))

LISA EMRICH said...

It is possible to gain great relief from a really good acupuncturist (even if the idea of needles makes you cringe). From my experience, an acupuncturist would most likely use needles in your sciatic area. At first you might feel some intense zingy sensations- not to worry as that's completely natural and would diminish over time.

Blinders Off said...

Shauna and Lisa,

The heat was brutal in Texas and it is brutal here. I honestly believe the heat is the cause of my right side acting up.

Charlene,

I am bless to have people that support me. What I need to work on is to talk about how I am feeling sooner than later with them. My sister called me the other night fussing (after reading my blog) for not telling her what has been going on with me and we talk every other day.


Denver,

I cancelled my MRI until August 18, I am no too concern that lesions had formed on my spine because my mobility is not that bad. It only acts up when I have pain in my feet and legs.

Diane,

There is no need for sympathy I have not permanently lost anything...this is a temporary and things are looking up :) So far, when I loose ability it has been temporary and this is no different.

T and T

I LOVE YOU TOO!

To all about acupuncture....

NO NO NO to acupuncture for me. After having Nerve Conduction Velocity Test years ago, I have a phobia about needles being stuck in my body :(

I am open to other suggestions :)

SueW said...

Hi! I found you by googleing neurology slit in half - and what you write, "While sitting in my chair the left side of my body feels normal. I cannot say the same for my right side imagine this:

On the right side of my body I have a headache, my eye feels lazy, my arm have a lightning bolt pain striking me above my elbow, and my back have radiating pain shooting through it. My hip has a standing sharp pain in the joint that connects my hip and leg bone, and to make matters worse, my leg feels numb as if it is being weighed down by a ton of bricks." - is what I could have written. I have had this body split with half (right side) of my body in pain for a long, long time. I have abnormal reflexes on that side of my body (hyperreflexia, ankle clonus and hoffman's sign) - yet I have not been diagnosed despite being held hostage in several MRI's and CT scanners. I have not yet seen a neurologist but may.

So - did you have any explanation for this split sensation? I've never heard anyone else describe so well how I feel -

Sue

Blinders Off said...

Sue W,

Since I am living with multiple sclerosis. MS is blamed for symptoms that are not ruled out from another source. Therefore, MS is the blame for my right side disconnecting from my left.