I have not grieved as I am now since the death of my maternal grandfather 25 years ago. I am carry on with my daily activities, but I feel as if I am just going thru the motions. Since Mary’s death, I have not been sleeping well. I finally took an Ambien 10mg Tuesday and Wednesday night to no avail. My doctor called the pharmacy and prescribed me Klonopin to take with my Ambien.
I was hoping I did not have to take a Klonopin, but as I began to type my thoughts, I decided I should. However, I thought it was best for me not to take another Ambien along with it, since I been taken Ambien from prior days. I hope the Klonopin is effective tonight, because the pain I feel from multiple sclerosis is breaking through with a vengence while I am wearing a Duragesic Patch. I do not think it would be wise to take a Lortab for this break through pain tonight since I have taken a Klonopin. I lived with multiple sclerosis long enough to know I am on the verge of an exacerbation. The last thing I want now is to have a Solu-Medrol Infusion because of an exacerbation.
It was months before I was able to move on grieving my grandfather 25 years ago. For the sake of my health, I have to find peace with Mary’s death. I thought I found peace when I felt her presence during my daughter’s wedding. Today, I had to stop myself from picking up the phone to call her. When that happened I was mentally back, to the morning she died and that unbearable sadness engulfed me all over again.
Inspirational music is a comfort for me and tonight I choose this to give me peace to get through the night. I look forward to waking up tomorrow with a renewed strength.
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3 comments:
Please be careful with the sleep aids ... I don't take them myself, they make me a bit twitchy.
I will mdmhvonpa...my next post is because of your comment.
I've read both good and bad things about ambien - the bad being in especially high doses. It is very hazardous to take if you are taking Effexor (an antidepressant) and can cause VIOLENT blackouts. If you know of anyone who is contemplating combining these two substances, TELL THEM NOT TO!
I've also read that ambien can give you a full, well-rested nights sleep, in which you awake feeling refreshed and energized.
A great reference tool for the effects of drugs (both in higher recreational doses and in usual prescribed doses) is http://www.erowid.org
Hope that your experience was a good one and that you caught a good nights rest!
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