Saturday, August 11, 2007

To Tell or Not To Tell

I have a dilemma, since I have been wearing the morphine patch the last three week. I have experienced absolutely NO PAIN, but the side effects I’ve experienced might be cause enough for my doctor to take me off the patch. On the very first day of wearing the patch my PAIN went away. My problem started later in the day of my first day wearing the patch, I experienced severe itching, the feeling of being high on drugs, slower heart beat and nausea without vomiting. For my itching and nausea feeling
I take medication for it. All of my symptoms left except for the itching it lingered around, but not as severe as it did the prior two days.

One patch stays on for three days; because my pain was gone I did not put a patch on after taking it off on day three. I called my doctor and told her of my experience and I asked if it was okay not to wear the patch since my pain was gone and only put it back on when the pain return. She was concerned about the severe itching and told me I might have to come off the patch, but I have to wear the patch continuously to keep the pain away. Honestly she was right because my pain immediately came back after I tried to go a day without the patch.

All of the side effects symptoms disappeared until this week. The feeling of being high on drugs never returned since it first happened, but the severe nausea was now accompany with severe vomiting. The nausea and vomiting was not an all day thing, but it reared its head whenever it wanted to. The severe itching comes and goes also, but the mother of all the symptoms is when I had a nightmare that was scarier than watching Nightmare on Elm Street. I had a vivid nightmare where I was literally puking up my guts. To think about the nightmare sends chills through my body, come to find out terrible dreams are also a side effect of the drug.

After having that dream I was ready to take the patch off myself, but living without the pain was the reason why I didn’t. My dilemma is if I tell my doctors about the nausea/vomiting experiences, the nightmare, and the severe itching she will probably take me off the patch. That is why I have not called her to tell, I don’t want to tell because life is GREAT without PAIN.

I have decided not to tell on myself until I go see her August 24. If she takes me off the patch I hope she has an alternative solution to fight the pain.

No comments: