LOVE and FRIENDSHIP

Multiple Sclerosis been good to me in 2010 and I pray it continues in 2011. Yes, I have had my moments, but it has not been as bad from previous years. There is no doubt in my mind, God does not give us more than we can handle. I know my MS behaved this year because my husband has been going through a lot medically in 2010. I am thankful I had been able to be there for him as he has been there for me when my multiple sclerosis is at its worse.

The unconditional love I feel for my husband, I would gladly have my multiple sclerosis rear its ugly head so he would not have to have any more surgeries or health problems. I cannot see my future without him. Therefore, my wish for 2011 is for the return of my husband's good health, continued better days than worse for me and my virtual friends living with or without Multiple Sclerosis.


See you all again in 2011!

It has Been Awhile Since I Posted A...

If you had been reading the blog you know, every now and then I post a Did-U-Know, which is my way of passing on some fantastic consumer information news...

After the birth of my first born in 1982 my breast size went from a 36DD to (warning put your drink down now) to 38K. I could not buy a brassier from a regular store; I had to purchase my brassieres from specialty lingerie stores. To me carrying around all those breasts were a curse to everyone else it was envy from woman and sexual gawking from men.

I carried my large twins nicely for many years because they were supported with the best money could buy. However, I had enough of unwanted sexual advances and carrying the weight, so I made a decision against my husband wishes to have a bi-lateral breast reduction. I felt like a new person after my surgery and it was wonderful being able to shop for a brassiere at a regular store again. I became a Victoria Secret gal, I could not get enough of purchasing brassieres from The Secret until I tried a Maidenform, and my preference is their Lilyette Minimizer collection. The secret to Victoria Secret is their brand is overrated. You have to give credit where credit is due when it comes to VS, they have a damn good marketing department.

Anywho, after all these years of being a Maidenform gal, I never knew about the lifetime warranty on their products. I had recently purchase another Lilyette and one of my snaps broke. Instead of throwing the bra away, I contacted the company. I was ecstatic to hear about their lifetime warranty; all I could think of was how much money I threw away over the years when I no longer used a particular style Maidenform brassiere. I felt like a kid in a candy store when I went through my lingerie draw and pulled out the Lilyette brassieres I no longer wore and mailed them off to Maidenform a week ago. Maidenform wasted no time in replacing my brassieres. I received my replacement brassieres TODAY!

All you have to do to replace a Maidenform product is:
Provide your name, address, and phone number inside the package you are returning. I also provided a size and style change for one of the brassieres I sent to them.

If you do not wear Maidenform brassieres and know someone who does PASS THIS ON TO THEM!

It Depends Where You Inject

If I did not believe, Copaxone was slowing the progression of my multiple sclerosis. I would not be taking the daily injections. I quit injecting Copaxone in my right buttock two years ago. As of December 7, 2010, I will no longer inject Copaxone in my left arm. It is now December 13, and my left arm is still sore. Immediately after removing the needle from my arm, my arm went limp, pain radiated from my shoulder blade to my fingernails. Trying to lift my arm was like trying to pick up a ton of bricks. I counted the minutes thinking to myself, "In about 15 minutes I should be able to move my arm." I sat in bed watching the clock; it was two hours before I could lift my arm to my face and several hours later before I could lift my arm over my head.

During that time a strange sensation flooded my body, my brain felt like a circuit breaker going haywire, then an extreme fatigue invaded my body, a fatigue I am still experiencing as of today. I have been doing great and feeling fine when I was not taking my injection after my flu shot occurrence. Yes, I had some pain here and there and slight immobility because of nerve pain in my foot during my hiatus from taking a Copaxone injection. Where there is belief, there is doubt, I am questioning is all this is worth the unknown of what happens after an injection.

There are times I do not know what to do when it comes to treating my MS. I do know I will not be taking an injection in my left arm again. There are only five other places I can inject Copaxone. Unless, for some other reason...If or when I experience what recently occurred when I injected my left arm and what I experienced after an injection in my right buttock over two years ago happens in the remaining places I have left to inject.

Regardless of my belief...
There will be no reason for me to continue taking Copaxone.

It's Been Too Long...

photo credit: rowox.com

Well, I did not bounce back quickly after taking that dreadful 3-point flu shot with H1N1 being one of the components. I was literally out of commission for 32 days ironically multiple sclerosis was not the reason why. I will NOT take another flu shot if H1N1 is one of the components. With that said, let tell you what the two doctors I see the most, my primary care and my neurologist think about this year flu shot.

My neurologist does not believe the flu shot caused me so much suffering for thirty-two days. My primary care does believe the flu shot caused my distress because of the H1N1 and my immune system already compromised having MS. Hmm, now whom do you think I trust the most, and I am beginning to question my neurologist for refusing to believe the H1N1 component in this year flu shot could cause distress for MS patients.

It has been since my last post that I have taken a Copaxone shot, the way I was feeling taking a daily shot was the last thing on my mind. When I began feeling better, the thought of sticking myself again everyday kept me from doing what I know
I need to do. After, organizing my medical records last night into one large binder, I could not help but read my history.

I know I complained about Copaxone when I experience an IPIR. However, I honestly believe Copaxone has slowed the progression of my MS according to my MRI reports since 2003 to the present. BELIEVING is what gives us HOPE and keep us MOVING. Therefore, as of December 01, 2010, I will be taking my Copaxone injections again, and I will try my best not to stay off course as long as I did this time.

Finally, I have a problem with the CDC deciding to include H1N1 into this year infulenza shots leaving us without a choice. The H1N1 vaccine was rushed because of an outbreak of the swine flu and a fear of a pandemic. As far as I am concern the H1N1 was UNTESTED because it was rushed in the hopes of preventing a pandemic; UNTRIED because a mass amount of people refused the vaccine during the outbreak; and EXPERIMENTAL because it was mandated into this year influenza vaccine.

You Have NO Choice

I am having second thought of getting my flu shot Tuesday, September 14. My initial reaction was NOT to take it once I was told that all influenza shots have H1N1 in it. I took the shot because I know Multiple Sclerosis weakens the immune system, making it so much easier for me to end up with "the flu". Multiple Sclerosis can actually set our bodies up to make getting "the flu" a much more dangerous situation.

I am having second thoughts about taking that flu shot with H1N1 in it because I have been experiencing the following flu symptoms: cough, headache, sore throat, runny nose, aching muscles, aching joints, weakness, and fatigue. In the beginning, I thought I was having an MS exacerbation because of the intensity of aching muscles, joints, weakness, and fatigue symptoms I live with everyday, but managed when those symptoms stay at a level 6...unfortunately they are at a 10, thankfully have medications to relieve the pain. I knew more was going on once my nose start running, my throat-became sore, and I started coughing. It clicked to me that I am trying to come down with the flu. I guess I can look on the bright side of things; I do not have a fever. If the symptoms that are not the same as my MS symptoms stay mild, I am hopeful I will bounce back soon.

Showing No Mercy...Unless You Control IT

I WILL BEAT YOU DOWN IF YOU LET ME!










This heat wave is no joke! If hell is hotter than what it has been for the past three months...I pray living my life by the Golden Rule is my ticket into heaven. :-)

Multiple Sclerosis and I have been battling during this heat wave. IT is getting upset with me because I have not allowed IT to take over. IT needs to know I am in control of my body! There was a time I allowed IT to control my body, but I did not like the way IT played. I use to go about my daily routine as if I was not living with MS (IT) during the summer months and would have to be injected with 3000 mg of Solu-Medrol two to three times during the summer because IT would affect my body in a negative way for days.

This is the first summer in years; I have not had to have an IV Infusion. I know that is because instead of allowing IT to control me, I took control of IT by LISTENING to MY BODY. I have learned to say NO, and still be productive in my LIFE and that is the greatest feeling ever. When I was forced to quit working in my dream job eight years ago, I thought my life was over. I like my new non-paying job better. I now utilized the skills I have learned over the years to help and be a voice for others and work with disadvantage children.

Yes, I have Multiple Sclerosis, but to me MS mean I AM Mighty Strong!

Tomorrow Is Not Promised To Us

Today marks the second anniversary of the death of my mother-n-law. I am thankful to have some of my husband's favorite recipes of his Mom in her handwriting that she wrote in a memo pad for me in 1995. I miss her kindness, gentleness, wisdom, and loving personality. Her stroke came without warning and the mercy of God called her home quickly. My husband mourned her deeply, and I know he still mourns her. She is the reason he is a strong and compassionate man and I thank her for that.

I have the saying "Tomorrow is Not Promised to us" on my mind because I am thinking of the quickness of her death and the quickness of the death of my grandfather who died 28 years ago August. I am also thinking about my on health and the health of my husband. My husband is ill and I understand the emotions he is experiencing right now. I had been there when I was diagnosis with multiple sclerosis. This is not a pity post, this is a post about strength to live today as if there is no tomorrow.

The following is an example of why we should enjoy each day we have with loved ones. I returned home Monday from my family's 35th Family Reunion. On Wednesday a family email was distributed about my first cousin Gwen being in ICU on a ventilator...I could not believe the words that were on that email because I had just load pictures from my camera onto my computer and there was a picture documenting the laughter I shared with Gwen and others Saturday evening. Fortunately, God answer prayers, Gwen was removed from ICU yesterday and it looks as if she will recover.

The point to this post is no matter what we face in life we have to enjoy every day as if it is the last day we have with love ones and friends. Self-pity and depression can push a person to the brink of death. I know from experience that is not the answer, I harnessed my self-pity of living with MS into living with a purpose; I embraced my depression as part of me and take a medication that works for me so I can keep on living. I thank God every day for making me an example for others to see. I think the years of me living with multiple sclerosis prepared me to be strong for my husband and it prepared my husband to realize life is not over. That is why I know my husband is going to be okay once he goes through the cycle of knowing he now has to live life with a chronic depilating illness.

LIVE TODAY AND EVERY DAY AS IF THERE IS NO TOMORROW!

Is It Really Over!

Let me begin by saying thanks for the emails and concern about my health and safety. MS has been rearing its ugly behind, but I refused to let it dictate my life, I get SATISFACTION each and every time I do not allow the symptoms of MS keep me from doing something worthwhile. Besides going to graduations, doctors appointments, having medical test, (which I will talk about in my next post), the following is what I have been doing to keep from being in bed because of the symptoms MS kept throwing my way.

The month of May started with me, my husband, and dog (Shelly) spending the majority of our weekend in our emergency room. For three consecutive days, Mother Nature pounded us with rain, lightening, hail, and tornado threats. Unfortunately, many people in my city lost everything from the flood and did not have insurance. We were fortunate to live on the other side of town and the rain seized just in time, otherwise it would have flooded on my end of town. I did get a little water in my garage and the room from the garage. Thankfully I believe in all types of insurance coverage and I did have flood insurance to cover the small amount of water damage to my home. Below are a few pictures from when it stopped raining for an hour and my husband and I ventured out when we heard parts of our city was flooded. However, when it started raining again another levee breached, causing more damage and the evacuation of the Mid-South Naval Base.





I thought Friendship Safehaven was going to cancel its fundraiser May 7 and 8 because some of the children participating in the MASK program were displaced by the flood. To my admiration, the children wanted to exhibit the confidence they developed using theater art as their foundation. Watching them perform "Who Killed Kevin" made every Saturday from September 2009 to May 2010 worthwhile fighting MS symptoms to volunteer my time.

I felt like a mother giving birth. It was amazing seeing the transformation of the young people who were once shy, lacked confidence, and self-esteem to perform in front of 200 people each night as if they were professional actors and actresses. It also warmed my heart that they thought enough of the volunteers and gave us a dozen roses at the end of the final performance. With excitement in their voices stating, "We want to come back next year!" Finally, to hear the mother of two sisters in the MASK program say to me several days after the fundraiser, "You know my Dad died the day before the fundraiser, and had it not been for my daughters participation in the MASK program; they would have never stood together to read a poem out loud at their grand father's funeral. I am glad they participated and they are looking forward to coming back next year." Below are a few pictures of the MASK students during their performance of "Who Killed Kevin"











Between entertaining and enjoying some mother and daughter quality time when my Mother came to visit me for a week, I did not have time to sit down after Friendship Safehaven fundraiser. I have been volunteering my time with another program. If a program is about benefitting children and I believe in it, I will do whatever I can to help. Summer Camp Wellness is a free program for young people ages 7 through 17. The response to this camp has been phenomenal, therefore next year after the MASK program 2011 Summer Camp Wellness will be longer. I am looking forward to telling more about this program soon. The camp ends this Friday June 4 and I will back to regular blogging soon. I hope all of you have been in good spirits and health and I will be back to visiting your blogs soon.

BD...THANK YOU for the monetary support you have been sending to Friendship Safehaven. More pictures of the MASK students' performance and a video will be on the web site soon.

Your Beauty and Voice Lives ON FOREVER...RIP

In my eyes Lena Horne was the most BEAUTIFUL WOMAN inside and out. She is another one I thank from the bottom of my heart.

THANK YOU---Rest In Peace

SUNSET April 20, 2010

Dorothy Height is the second death of a major civil rights figure in less than a week. The passing of two great civil rights leaders in less than a week makes me reflect on the work they did so I could have a better life. I am who I am because of Civil Right leaders like Dorothy Height, as long as I have breath and of able body I promise I will not let the work of our Civil Right Leaders be in vain.

THANK YOU DR. HEIGHT

"If the time is not ripe, we have to ripen the time." ~ Dorothy Height

REST IN PEACE

Thank You---Rest In Peace

01-31-25 to 04-15-2010

Dr. Benjamin Hooks is one of MANY known and unknown responsible for paving the way for my generation to have an equal chance in America. Because of him and others I do what I do...

THANK YOU Dr. Hooks

I am somebody because I am a CHILD of GOD ~ Dr. Benjamin Hooks...

Rest In Peace

PLEASE HELP...My Daughter Get a Role on GLEE

Please help my baby daughter realize her dream. My baby has a genius IQ and for some reason she always wanted to be an actress. I have to admit she was my dramatic child. However, as a mother I insisted she pursue acting after she graduated college. She graduated Cum Lude from Vanderbilt University in 2007 with a double major in Communication Studies and Managerial Studies . She's interned during her college years with Pfizer Pharmaceuticals. She turned them down for a permanent position when she graduated and has been working for Cumberland Consultants. In the three years she's been with Cumberland, Tara is now a Health Care Managing Consultant.

More importantly, Tara gives back to her community she actively volunteers with several non-profits and participates in various charity marathons and 5K runs. My baby will be 25 years old tomorrow, April 13; she just made the cut off age for Glee by one year. She is the perfect candidate to be one of the three actors Glee is seeking because some people think she is 16 or 18 years old and she is talented.


Glee monologue

Glee MySpace Video


Glee song

Glee MySpace Video

If you thing my daughter has what it takes to be a future GLEEK go give her a Gold Star!

If you have a MySpace account please go and give my daughter a gold star. If you do not have a My Space account please sign up for one and give my daughter a gold star. I did not have a MySpace account, but I created one to vote for my daughter...you can delete the account after you VOTE.

HELP A MOTHER SPREAD THE WORD IN HELPING HER DAUGHTER REACH FOR THE STARS...CLICK HERE TO GO DIRECTELY TO TARA'S AUDITION PAGE.

Thanks,

Blinders Off

Where In The World Is Blinders Off

The passing of the Health Care Reform bill is not the best reform toward the Health Care Industry, but it is a start. When are you leaving Limbaugh?

Free The Scott Sisters

This is a story that needs ATTENTION! The time given to the Scott Sisters is an abuse of the Justice System....UNBELIEVABLE

I could not just read this and not participate by posting it on my blog. I hope the readers that come to this blog make the calls or write the letters after reading what happened to the Scott Sisters. The following is a copy and paste from the mother of the Scott Sisters blog:


Jamie Scott, who was convicted with her sister Gladys Scott and given double-life sentences each for an $11.00 robbery of which there was no credible evidence presented at trial, is suffering from complete kidney failure and other life-threatening medical conditions. The prison is aware of Jamie’s current condition yet Jamie remains in the prison infirmary.*

Mrs. Rasco and Afrosphere Bloggers are calling on the public to request that elected and prison officials in Mississippi immediately move Jamie to qualified medical facilities where she can receive proper medical care forthwith. We also ask that the media do investigative inquiry about this tragic situation and the outrageous case of the wrongfully convicted Scott Sisters!

CONTACT GOV. BARBOUR’S OFFICE
P.O. Box 139
Jackson, Mississippi 39205
1-877-405-0733 or 601-359-3150
Fax: 601-359-3741
(If you reach VM leave msgs, faxes, and please send letters)

CONTACT CHRISTOPHER EPPS
Christopher Epps, Commissioner of Prisons for the State of Mississippi
601-359-5600
CEPPS@mdoc.state.ms.us
723 North President Street
Jackson, MS 39202

Congressman Bennie Thompson
3607 Medgar Evers Blvd.
Jackson, MS 39213
601-946-9003(ph)
601-982-5337 (fx)
Benniethompson@mail.house.gov

Congressman John Conyers
2426 Rayburn H.O.B.
Washington, DC 20515
Ph: 202-225-5126
Fax: 202-225-0072

On 12/24/93, the Scott County Sheriff’s Department arrested Jamie and Gladys Scott for armed robbery even though three young males, ranging from ages 14 to 18, confessed to committing the crime and the women have unwaveringly maintained their complete innocence. Despite this, the corrupt Mississippi sheriff used coercion, threats, and harassment to compel the young men to turn state’s evidence against the Scott Sisters due to a long-standing vendetta against a family member. In 10/94 the Scott Sisters were sentenced to extraordinary double-life terms each, despite the facts that no one was harmed, neither sister had prior convictions, no weapon was ever recovered, and the amount alleged to have been taken was approximately $11.00. Even if they were guilty as charged, this sentence is completely outrageous and cruel.

The Scott Sisters are now in their 15th year of incarceration and their five children and grandchildren are being raised by their now ailing mother. The defendants and their family are wholly dependent on support from the press, organizations, and all those dedicated to justice in making this debacle as public as possible.

Their Story has had some success in getting media of late, the most notable being a very brief mention on HLN’s “Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell”, a clip of which is available to view here:

*Although Jamie was recently hospitalized due to a life-threatening infection, she continues to require ongoing close monitoring as once returned to the prison it has been proven on many occasions that are well documented at the website that the medical staff there has provided abysmal health care that has put Jamie's life at risk far too many times to be acceptable.

CONGRESS

The following came to me by an email...Whoevever came up with it did a good job!

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

Not Bashful Being a Racist

Racist are in many American Cities and Towns...It is time to CALL THEM OUT when they reveal themselves in a city or town near you.

Besides living with Multiple Sclerosis, I live in a town that has a reputation of being racist. I am the first to say when the military moved my family to Millington TN in 1995; I thought I was in the twilight zone. I hated the small town outside the Mid-South Navy Support Activity with a passion in the first two years living in Tennessee. I hated it so much I threaten to divorce my husband because I wanted to leave this small southern town that was twenty-two miles away from where Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated.

The fact of the matter is Millington deserved its reputation. However, I am a person who will confront racism and a bigot head on. I had to confront it with bigot teachers working for the Shelby County School System in Millington who tried to use the stroke of their pen to ruin my daughters' lives. I had to confront it with bigots who held supervisory positions during my employment on the Naval Base. I had to confront it with local bigot store owners. I had to confront it with bigots in my local government officials.

One would think confronting racism against me or one of my children in Millington that I would high tail my family out of Tennessee when my husband retired from the Military in 2000. I promise you my intention was to get the he** out of Tennessee when my husband retired. Obviously, there is truth to Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, but I am just going to quote verse one here "To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven."

I would be lying to say Millington is the same city it was when my family and I first moved here. Yes, Millington still has a short way to go, just like America has a long way to go. In reality, Millington is a diamond in the rough. There are more people who lived here all their lives and people like myself who have made Millington their home that are against RACISICM and BIGOTS. The bigots in this town are the minority just as they are the minority in the United States. If that was not so Barack Obama would not be President today.

When a cockroach of a person is cornered or feel they are losing control, they will do whatever it takes to get out of that corner and take back control. That is what the racist in America are doing now. They are no longer hiding their faces; today they are proud to wear their hatred as a badge of honor. It is disheartening to be hated because of the color of your skin, but I for one will not allow the ignorance of a few have me believe that of all. I will continue to fight against it head on. This post is because of a racist Millington business man who called the 44th President of the Unite States "A Fucking Nigger".

I prefer a racist showing their face...Thanks Ackerman for removing your hood and not being bashful about being a racist. It is difficult to tell who all of you are unless you openly admit it. Now that your hood is removed you have made easier exposing some more of you in Millington. An anonymous commenter said it best at Mediaverse when he or she quoted W.E.B. DuBois, "The ultimate evil in this world is ignorance. Its child is stupidity!"

Finally here is a quote from me in reference to the likes of Ackerman by C.S. Lewis “Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”

Waking Up To Snow

Shelly and I was both surprise to see this at 5:30 this morning as I was letting her out to take care of business. During the weather section of the news last night, there was not one word of us getting 3-5 inches of SNOW. They were too busy telling us about what was going to happen in Missouri. To make matters worse after the snow we are suppose to get some freezing rain. Lord I hope not, we just went through that a week ago. I will take SNOW ove FREEZING RAIN any day.

West Tennesse is not use to 3-5 inches of snow, I guess I will take advantage of it and take some pictures of how beautiful snow is before the traffic and people start moving about.

UPDATE...

I am not bad at taking pictures, I spot a Robin in the tree and another bird birched on a utility wire. Bad news is we are getting some more snow the next several days...I thought I left this kind of weather up North :(

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. ~William James

Sorry I have been gone awhile, but I have been very busy working hard with a non-profit I am very passionate about. It feels GREAT to believe in a vision, dedicate my time to cultivate programs and watch that vision come to fruition.

Our vision is that all children can develop and/or improve communication, public speaking and leadership skills; develop and/or improve self-esteem and self-confidence; and learn discipline by embracing the cultural arts.

Click and visit our website and read about the wonderful program we started in September and to keep up with future programs we will be doing. While I am at do not hesitate to become a FAN of Friendship Safehaven on Face Book. Also, I am not too proud to beg if you believe in what we are doing and can spare a few dollars, click on our donate tab to help us continue offering what we are doing for our young people FREE OF CHARGE.


UPDATE ON SMOKING




I have not stopped, but I have cut down tremendously...so please give me a little credit. The desire is there in my heart to stop, being honest to myself I do not want to stop completely. As one of my good virtual friend Black Diaspora said to me, "Once you make up your MIND to never pick up another cigarette that is when you will stop smoking." Your prayers were not in vain...I will stop smoking completely VERY SOON.

It Is Not A Want It Is A Need...

TO QUIT SMOKING

Why is it hard to stop smoking? This is not a New Year's resolution for me to stop smoking because I have the desire to quit smoking every day. My addiction to Nicotine has been going on for over thirty years. I said I would quit when cigarette cost first start increasing many moons ago. I said I was going to quit smoking when smoking was no longer allowed in the work place many moons ago. Finally, I said I was going to quit in 2007 when my brand of cigarettes increased to $7.50 a pack, but all I did was switch to a brand (Salem Lights 100)that cost what my brand use to cost. There is no doubt in my mind that smoking is very harmful to me, but I tried all the stop smoking aides and going Cold Turkey with no success. I also know I could save $1,680 a year if I stop smoking. Hell, not only will I be taking better care of my health I would also be saving a hell of lot of money. Just the thought of what I can do with $1,680 during these economical times is endless.

People say you have to want to stop smoking, believe it or not I WANT TO STOP SMOKING and I NEED TO STOP SMOKING. The following smoking aides did not work for me because I experienced severely more than one of the side effects that comes with taking them such as mood or behavior changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, or if you feel impulsive, irritable, agitated, hostile, aggressive, restless, hyperactive (mentally or physically), more depressed, or have thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself, changes in dreaming or sleeping pattern, constipation, gas, nausea, vomiting.

Wellbutrin

Zyban

Nicorette Gum

Nicotine Patches

Chantix

Going Cold Turkey did not work for me because I experience some of the above mentioned side effects and I morphed into Linda Blair on the fourth day of not having nicotine. However, I decided January 05, 2010 I am going to go into the depth of hell. I am about to battle the desire to continue to feed my body nicotine. I went into the depth of hell and made it back when I quit giving my body morphine to battle my pain because I knew the morphine was killing me. I should be able to quit giving my body nicotine, especially since I know it is the root of some of my medical problems and it is slowly killing me and I can use the money.

I know it is going to be hard for me, therefore, I ask my virtual buddies to have me in their prayers as I fight to surpress and eventually kill the desire of wanting my last demon called Nicotine. I will keep you guys posted on my progress.
I will also remind myself as I go through this process that "I can do all things through Christ who STRENGTHENS ME."