Friday, July 20, 2007
The MS Wave
My pain has been off the charts for days and it was becoming debilitating and no medication I have is working. I have a Texas trip coming up and I am feeling like shit. It gets depressing and scary when multiple sclerosis exacerbate because you begin to wonder how long it's going to last.
Pain Pain Go Away…
I Woke up telling my husband I wouldn’t be able to go with him to Texas if my Solu-Medrol infusion didn’t make me feel better. It’s moments like this when I get pissed off with multiple sclerosis. It is also moments like this when I realize how much my husband really loves me. He told me, “If we have to wait another day to leave then that is what we will do because he meant it when he said in sickness and health”. The Solu-Medrol kicked in 30 minutes into the infusion. I am relieved and ecstatic knowing I am able to join my husband in Texas. I feel so damn good after weeks of intense pain I am going to the salon for a manicure and pedicure.
Texas here we come! The drive gave me a chance to start reading, “The Five People You Meet in Heaven" , by Mitch Albom. We never go straight to Texas without visiting some good friends in Scott Louisiana. Also, a must have food from Louisiana are deboned stuffed chickens from Hebert's Specialty Meats. Going for a long drive with the one you love make you feel like the luckiest person in the world.
Before we got started on the activities of the family reunion that evening, we went grocery shopping for the must have foods from Texas to bring back with us to Tennessee. We never can leave Texas without bringing back boudin, blue crabs, zummo sausage, Broussard's links, and seasoning from Tex Joy. Unfortunately, for me the heat index rose to 108 degrees and I was starting to feel the nerve tingles and pain through out my body. I silently prayed over and over for the Solu-Medrol to continue to work, normally I receive three consecutive days of Solu-Medrol, but I only had one.
I made it to the first function of the family reunion that evening; “The Fish Fry” Texans know they can cook...that was the best tasting fish I ever tasted at a fish fry. My pain and the nerve tingles accompany with the feeling of nausea were starting to intensify the Lortabs helped some, but I couldn’t wait for the night to end.
I was determined not to let how I feel ruin our time in Texas. Multiple Sclerosis is part of me and I choose not to let IT control me. Lately MS been rearing its ugly head with a vengeance, but I am going to adjust to this new wave like I adjusted to the waves that has lead up to this moment. I opted out on the morning activity for the family reunion in order to join everyone during the evening activity. People would not know I have MS by looking at me because on the outside I look like the picture of health. Looks are deceiving and I no longer care what people think when I have adjust my game plan to enjoy my life and do the things I love to do.
I am proud of myself because I was able to enjoy everyone during the family reunion festivities with only my husband and sister-in-law knowing how bad I was feeling. The only reason my sister-in-law knew I was going through changes is because I needed her help when the nausea I have been feeling finally erupted in a violent way. We were staying at my sister and brother-in-law home after visiting some friends I told my husband I needed to go back to the house, but he didn’t have to stay with me. Texas is his hometown and I knew he had a lot of catching up to do with friends and family.
I felt a little better after the nausea feeling went away, but the pain and tingling stuck around. I knew I had to make an appointment with my neurologist because of this new wave of intense pain. I was also glad I was going to be leaving the next day because there is no place like home especially if you are not feeling well. I lounged around and I finished reading my book. I also made the decision to pull back on being an activist in my community. A good friend of mine in Texas reminded me I cannot save everyone in need or trouble and I must learn to pick and choose because of my illness.
I believe my entire purpose for making it to Texas was to have the conversation I had with him. On the road trip going to Texas I had a call from a reporter, a cop, and a dear friend who is in a crisis. The reporter is not in a crisis, but the cop is. If the information I received from the cop is accurate his problem will be solved if he handles it the way it needs to be handled. Because of my own issues with the new wave of pain from MS I informed him he will be okay now that he have a lawyer and I can no longer carry his stress, I did all I could do it is now up to him. I basically told my good friend the same thing.
The skies burst wide opened in Texas and Louisiana and safety come first. We decided to wait until the next day to leave.
There is no place like home!
I called my neurologist about my symptoms and the intense pain. I have an appointment for Friday now all I can do is try to unpack our bags and put away all the food we brought back to take my mind off the pain.
Just as I suspected my illness is progressing, I know the daily Copaxone injections I take daily slows the progression of MS not stop it. I am not in denial on what MS do, I just HATE there is no cure for it. My only resource is to try the various medical treatments they have for MS to live as normal of a life as possible. My Neurologist suggested that I try Tysabri, I wrote a post about that once. I wish I still had it, but theunexpected happened . Until I make my mind up about Tysabri or any other new treatment over Copaxone I have to continue MY research on the different treatments available to me. To help combat the intensified pain I was prescribed morphine patches to wear and told to take Lortab for the breakthrough pain.
I am a little leery of morphine patches, but if it takes away the pain I am experiencing now I am willing to try it. I guess I will have a lot to talk about in the upcoming days. I hope my you tube question is selected during CNN presidential debate. I will talk about that later because its time for me to take my shot.