Living-With-MS

Trying To Make A Difference

2011-02-28T16:45:00.008-06:00

I am on a course in my life whereas I am not blogging much here at Living with MS. For those who have been reading my blog over the years, you know I have always been involved in my community volunteering with different non-profits, but lately this non-profit is where I have been devoting a lot of my time and I have been busy researching and writing grants for other non-profits. It is also no secret that I am an activist in my community trying to make a difference in the small southern suburban area outside, but in the same county of the city of Memphis.

I have been spending my time at my new blog called Living in Millington that I started November 19, 2010. For a new blog my stat numbers and response from residents are impressive and encouraging. I am still around, however in 2012 we will be electing a New Mayor and my goal is to make sure a good ole boy or one of their descendants DO NOT SIT IN THAT CHAIR. That is why I will be blogging more at Living in Millington than I will here.

I have been stopping by and reading your blogs, I just have not been leaving a comment. That will change soon, I will drop a comment now and then even it is just stay say HI... my way in letting you all know I am have not forgotten you.

GONE, BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN

2011-02-01T03:29:00.004-06:00

Mrs. Anna Lois Dean Ward was the second senior friend of mine to die in a week. Mother Seals and Mrs. Ward were both special to me. I enjoyed their company and I will truly miss them. However, I want to share the follow about Mrs. Ward.

In December 2010, I was given an assignment to write a Christmas story. I suggested writing what Christmas means to a person who was told around Christmastime they have cancer after surving cancer thirty years ago. My editor liked the idea and gave me the green light to take that approach for a Christmas story instead of writing the norm. I chose my senior friend for my Christmas article because of her faith and strength while she battled the rare cancer, multiple myeloma. I wished I could have written about everything we talked about that day, but I am limited to 300 words on an article. During our interview, December 10, 2010, she confided, that her doctor said her labs were not looking good and she needed to schedule an appointment. With a somber look on her face, she said, "I believe my cancer is back." We talked a little longer before I said my goodbyes to her and her husband.

I was devastated when I had to call Mrs. Ward and tell her my editor scrapped the article because I knew she was excited and looking forward to reading it on the published day. I could not bring myself to tell her why. I lied and said they decided to run various pictures of Christmas decorated homes. However, according to my editor, it was opinionated and not joyful. As far as I am concerned, what Mrs. Ward said about Christmas is the truth! Newspapers and magazines are in trouble today because they want to sugar coat, white wash, and pretend commercialism has not taken over every holiday including Christmas.

Mrs. Ward was an ANGEL on earth and I feel blessed to have known her.

Below is the article the newspaper decided not to run because it was too opinionated and not joyful enough.

In the 42 years Anna L and Joel T Ward were married, they celebrated many Christmases together. Their Christmas in 2005 was a sad one because Anna was diagnosed with cancer, multiple myeloma. Christmas is a blessing in Mrs. Ward's eyes. Christmas in 2007 was very hard for her. She was in the hospital for 29 days feeling very low at one point and felt as if she was not going to make it. Hope left her for a while, it was then she felt herself in the hands of the Lord and began believing, without a doubt it was possible for her to be healed. "I have learned if you do not believe you can be healed your battle is going to be harder." said Ward.

Ward received news her cancer was in remission in 2008. Ward said, "For a short while, I did have that little doubt, that this is it, I am going to die. People are inclined to accept the word cancer as their fate. I did that to; when I was told, I had multiple myeloma because I survived breast cancer 30 years ago. I am thankful to have been able to participate at my age to harvest my stem cells to treat my cancer. No matter what medical science has to offer, I truly believe that I am here because of God's Mercy." Ward continued, "I would tell anyone that you have to believe that God is real and that he can do what he says he can do. My savior was born Christmas Day; Christmas means to me that he came here to forgive us for our sins. I believe that if my Savior had not come into this world to save mankind, I would not be here today. Therefore, Christmas is a time to celebrate God's gift to us, the day his son was born. Christmas has a higher meaning to it. The world has taken the focus of Christ out of Christmas and has put a commercial focus on Christmas. That is very tragic." Anna and Joel Ward plans to spread the Joy of Christmas Day visiting people in the hospital wherever they can.

My friend did not get a chance to spread the joy on Christmas Day in 2010 because she was sick by the cancer that aggressively invaded her body again. She was admitted into the hospital until the day she died January 21, 2011.

Do you think her story was opinionated without joy? I do not. To me it is a testament worth reading, how faith and hope gives you joy to believe and know in your darkest moment it will be all right.

This Is Interesting and Strange

2011-01-20T01:32:00.000-06:00

1/1/11

1/11/11

11/1/11

11/11/11

NOW, figure this out...take the last 2 digits of the year you were born plus the age you will be this year and see what you come up with.

My number was 111 and every member of my family number was 111. I find it strange and interesting. It definitely make you go hmmmm... I had some friends do it and their number came up 111. If this is interesting to you, please do the above and post your number.

LOVE and FRIENDSHIP

2010-12-30T23:10:00.003-06:00

Multiple Sclerosis been good to me in 2010 and I pray it continues in 2011. Yes, I have had my moments, but it has not been as bad from previous years. There is no doubt in my mind, God does not give us more than we can handle. I know my MS behaved this year because my husband has been going through a lot medically in 2010. I am thankful I had been able to be there for him as he has been there for me when my multiple sclerosis is at its worse.

The unconditional love I feel for my husband, I would gladly have my multiple sclerosis rear its ugly head so he would not have to have any more surgeries or health problems. I cannot see my future without him. Therefore, my wish for 2011 is for the return of my husband's good health, continued better days than worse for me and my virtual friends living with or without Multiple Sclerosis.

See you all again in 2011!

It has Been Awhile Since I Posted A...

2010-12-14T12:57:00.005-06:00

If you had been reading the blog you know, every now and then I post a Did-U-Know, which is my way of passing on some fantastic consumer information news...

After the birth of my first born in 1982 my breast size went from a 36DD to (warning put your drink down now) to 38K. I could not buy a brassier from a regular store; I had to purchase my brassieres from specialty lingerie stores. To me carrying around all those breasts were a curse to everyone else it was envy from woman and sexual gawking from men.

I carried my large twins nicely for many years because they were supported with the best money could buy. However, I had enough of unwanted sexual advances and carrying the weight, so I made a decision against my husband wishes to have a bi-lateral breast reduction. I felt like a new person after my surgery and it was wonderful being able to shop for a brassiere at a regular store again. I became a Victoria Secret gal, I could not get enough of purchasing brassieres from The Secret until I tried a Maidenform, and my preference is their Lilyette Minimizer collection. The secret to Victoria Secret is their brand is overrated. You have to give credit where credit is due when it comes to VS, they have a damn good marketing department.

Anywho, after all these years of being a Maidenform gal, I never knew about the lifetime warranty on their products. I had recently purchase another Lilyette and one of my snaps broke. Instead of throwing the bra away, I contacted the company. I was ecstatic to hear about their lifetime warranty; all I could think of was how much money I threw away over the years when I no longer used a particular style Maidenform brassiere. I felt like a kid in a candy store when I went through my lingerie draw and pulled out the Lilyette brassieres I no longer wore and mailed them off to Maidenform a week ago. Maidenform wasted no time in replacing my brassieres. I received my replacement brassieres TODAY!

All you have to do to replace a Maidenform product is:
Provide your name, address, and phone number inside the package you are returning. I also provided a size and style change for one of the brassieres I sent to them.

If you do not wear Maidenform brassieres and know someone who does PASS THIS ON TO THEM!

It Depends Where You Inject

2010-12-13T00:03:00.005-06:00

If I did not believe, Copaxone was slowing the progression of my multiple sclerosis. I would not be taking the daily injections. I quit injecting Copaxone in my right buttock two years ago. As of December 7, 2010, I will no longer inject Copaxone in my left arm. It is now December 13, and my left arm is still sore. Immediately after removing the needle from my arm, my arm went limp, pain radiated from my shoulder blade to my fingernails. Trying to lift my arm was like trying to pick up a ton of bricks. I counted the minutes thinking to myself, "In about 15 minutes I should be able to move my arm." I sat in bed watching the clock; it was two hours before I could lift my arm to my face and several hours later before I could lift my arm over my head.

During that time a strange sensation flooded my body, my brain felt like a circuit breaker going haywire, then an extreme fatigue invaded my body, a fatigue I am still experiencing as of today. I have been doing great and feeling fine when I was not taking my injection after my flu shot occurrence. Yes, I had some pain here and there and slight immobility because of nerve pain in my foot during my hiatus from taking a Copaxone injection. Where there is belief, there is doubt, I am questioning is all this is worth the unknown of what happens after an injection.

There are times I do not know what to do when it comes to treating my MS. I do know I will not be taking an injection in my left arm again. There are only five other places I can inject Copaxone. Unless, for some other reason...If or when I experience what recently occurred when I injected my left arm and what I experienced after an injection in my right buttock over two years ago happens in the remaining places I have left to inject.

Regardless of my belief...
There will be no reason for me to continue taking Copaxone.

It's Been Too Long...

2010-11-29T16:56:00.006-06:00

photo credit: rowox.com

Well, I did not bounce back quickly after taking that dreadful 3-point flu shot with H1N1 being one of the components. I was literally out of commission for 32 days ironically multiple sclerosis was not the reason why. I will NOT take another flu shot if H1N1 is one of the components. With that said, let tell you what the two doctors I see the most, my primary care and my neurologist think about this year flu shot.

My neurologist does not believe the flu shot caused me so much suffering for thirty-two days. My primary care does believe the flu shot caused my distress because of the H1N1 and my immune system already compromised having MS. Hmm, now whom do you think I trust the most, and I am beginning to question my neurologist for refusing to believe the H1N1 component in this year flu shot could cause distress for MS patients.

It has been since my last post that I have taken a Copaxone shot, the way I was feeling taking a daily shot was the last thing on my mind. When I began feeling better, the thought of sticking myself again everyday kept me from doing what I know
I need to do. After, organizing my medical records last night into one large binder, I could not help but read my history.

I know I complained about Copaxone when I experience an IPIR. However, I honestly believe Copaxone has slowed the progression of my MS according to my MRI reports since 2003 to the present. BELIEVING is what gives us HOPE and keep us MOVING. Therefore, as of December 01, 2010, I will be taking my Copaxone injections again, and I will try my best not to stay off course as long as I did this time.

Finally, I have a problem with the CDC deciding to include H1N1 into this year infulenza shots leaving us without a choice. The H1N1 vaccine was rushed because of an outbreak of the swine flu and a fear of a pandemic. As far as I am concern the H1N1 was UNTESTED because it was rushed in the hopes of preventing a pandemic; UNTRIED because a mass amount of people refused the vaccine during the outbreak; and EXPERIMENTAL because it was mandated into this year influenza vaccine.

You Have NO Choice

2010-09-19T18:34:00.003-05:00

I am having second thought of getting my flu shot Tuesday, September 14. My initial reaction was NOT to take it once I was told that all influenza shots have H1N1 in it. I took the shot because I know Multiple Sclerosis weakens the immune system, making it so much easier for me to end up with "the flu". Multiple Sclerosis can actually set our bodies up to make getting "the flu" a much more dangerous situation.

I am having second thoughts about taking that flu shot with H1N1 in it because I have been experiencing the following flu symptoms: cough, headache, sore throat, runny nose, aching muscles, aching joints, weakness, and fatigue. In the beginning, I thought I was having an MS exacerbation because of the intensity of aching muscles, joints, weakness, and fatigue symptoms I live with everyday, but managed when those symptoms stay at a level 6...unfortunately they are at a 10, thankfully have medications to relieve the pain. I knew more was going on once my nose start running, my throat-became sore, and I started coughing. It clicked to me that I am trying to come down with the flu. I guess I can look on the bright side of things; I do not have a fever. If the symptoms that are not the same as my MS symptoms stay mild, I am hopeful I will bounce back soon.

Showing No Mercy...Unless You Control IT

2010-08-03T23:22:00.013-05:00

I WILL BEAT YOU DOWN IF YOU LET ME!

This heat wave is no joke! If hell is hotter than what it has been for the past three months...I pray living my life by the Golden Rule is my ticket into heaven. :-)

Multiple Sclerosis and I have been battling during this heat wave. IT is getting upset with me because I have not allowed IT to take over. IT needs to know I am in control of my body! There was a time I allowed IT to control my body, but I did not like the way IT played. I use to go about my daily routine as if I was not living with MS (IT) during the summer months and would have to be injected with 3000 mg of Solu-Medrol two to three times during the summer because IT would affect my body in a negative way for days.

This is the first summer in years; I have not had to have an IV Infusion. I know that is because instead of allowing IT to control me, I took control of IT by LISTENING to MY BODY. I have learned to say NO, and still be productive in my LIFE and that is the greatest feeling ever. When I was forced to quit working in my dream job eight years ago, I thought my life was over. I like my new non-paying job better. I now utilized the skills I have learned over the years to help and be a voice for others and work with disadvantage children.

Yes, I have Multiple Sclerosis, but to me MS mean I AM Mighty Strong!

Tomorrow Is Not Promised To Us

2010-07-11T01:49:00.008-05:00

Today marks the second anniversary of the death of my mother-n-law. I am thankful to have some of my husband's favorite recipes of his Mom in her handwriting that she wrote in a memo pad for me in 1995. I miss her kindness, gentleness, wisdom, and loving personality. Her stroke came without warning and the mercy of God called her home quickly. My husband mourned her deeply, and I know he still mourns her. She is the reason he is a strong and compassionate man and I thank her for that.

I have the saying "Tomorrow is Not Promised to us" on my mind because I am thinking of the quickness of her death and the quickness of the death of my grandfather who died 28 years ago August. I am also thinking about my on health and the health of my husband. My husband is ill and I understand the emotions he is experiencing right now. I had been there when I was diagnosis with multiple sclerosis. This is not a pity post, this is a post about strength to live today as if there is no tomorrow.

The following is an example of why we should enjoy each day we have with loved ones. I returned home Monday from my family's 35th Family Reunion. On Wednesday a family email was distributed about my first cousin Gwen being in ICU on a ventilator...I could not believe the words that were on that email because I had just load pictures from my camera onto my computer and there was a picture documenting the laughter I shared with Gwen and others Saturday evening. Fortunately, God answer prayers, Gwen was removed from ICU yesterday and it looks as if she will recover.

The point to this post is no matter what we face in life we have to enjoy every day as if it is the last day we have with love ones and friends. Self-pity and depression can push a person to the brink of death. I know from experience that is not the answer, I harnessed my self-pity of living with MS into living with a purpose; I embraced my depression as part of me and take a medication that works for me so I can keep on living. I thank God every day for making me an example for others to see. I think the years of me living with multiple sclerosis prepared me to be strong for my husband and it prepared my husband to realize life is not over. That is why I know my husband is going to be okay once he goes through the cycle of knowing he now has to live life with a chronic depilating illness.

LIVE TODAY AND EVERY DAY AS IF THERE IS NO TOMORROW!

Is It Really Over!

2010-06-02T21:31:00.018-05:00

Let me begin by saying thanks for the emails and concern about my health and safety. MS has been rearing its ugly behind, but I refused to let it dictate my life, I get SATISFACTION each and every time I do not allow the symptoms of MS keep me from doing something worthwhile. Besides going to graduations, doctors appointments, having medical test, (which I will talk about in my next post), the following is what I have been doing to keep from being in bed because of the symptoms MS kept throwing my way.

The month of May started with me, my husband, and dog (Shelly) spending the majority of our weekend in our emergency room. For three consecutive days, Mother Nature pounded us with rain, lightening, hail, and tornado threats. Unfortunately, many people in my city lost everything from the flood and did not have insurance. We were fortunate to live on the other side of town and the rain seized just in time, otherwise it would have flooded on my end of town. I did get a little water in my garage and the room from the garage. Thankfully I believe in all types of insurance coverage and I did have flood insurance to cover the small amount of water damage to my home. Below are a few pictures from when it stopped raining for an hour and my husband and I ventured out when we heard parts of our city was flooded. However, when it started raining again another levee breached, causing more damage and the evacuation of the Mid-South Naval Base.

I thought Friendship Safehaven was going to cancel its fundraiser May 7 and 8 because some of the children participating in the MASK program were displaced by the flood. To my admiration, the children wanted to exhibit the confidence they developed using theater art as their foundation. Watching them perform "Who Killed Kevin" made every Saturday from September 2009 to May 2010 worthwhile fighting MS symptoms to volunteer my time.

I felt like a mother giving birth. It was amazing seeing the transformation of the young people who were once shy, lacked confidence, and self-esteem to perform in front of 200 people each night as if they were professional actors and actresses. It also warmed my heart that they thought enough of the volunteers and gave us a dozen roses at the end of the final performance. With excitement in their voices stating, "We want to come back next year!" Finally, to hear the mother of two sisters in the MASK program say to me several days after the fundraiser, "You know my Dad died the day before the fundraiser, and had it not been for my daughters participation in the MASK program; they would have never stood together to read a poem out loud at their grand father's funeral. I am glad they participated and they are looking forward to coming back next year." Below are a few pictures of the MASK students during their performance of "Who Killed Kevin"

Between entertaining and enjoying some mother and daughter quality time when my Mother came to visit me for a week, I did not have time to sit down after Friendship Safehaven fundraiser. I have been volunteering my time with another program. If a program is about benefitting children and I believe in it, I will do whatever I can to help. Summer Camp Wellness is a free program for young people ages 7 through 17. The response to this camp has been phenomenal, therefore next year after the MASK program 2011 Summer Camp Wellness will be longer. I am looking forward to telling more about this program soon. The camp ends this Friday June 4 and I will back to regular blogging soon. I hope all of you have been in good spirits and health and I will be back to visiting your blogs soon.

BD...THANK YOU for the monetary support you have been sending to Friendship Safehaven. More pictures of the MASK students' performance and a video will be on the web site soon.

Your Beauty and Voice Lives ON FOREVER...RIP

2010-05-10T10:33:00.008-05:00

In my eyes Lena Horne was the most BEAUTIFUL WOMAN inside and out. She is another one I thank from the bottom of my heart.

THANK YOU---Rest In Peace

2010-04-20T20:44:00.008-05:00

SUNSET April 20, 2010

Dorothy Height is the second death of a major civil rights figure in less than a week. The passing of two great civil rights leaders in less than a week makes me reflect on the work they did so I could have a better life. I am who I am because of Civil Right leaders like Dorothy Height, as long as I have breath and of able body I promise I will not let the work of our Civil Right Leaders be in vain.

THANK YOU DR. HEIGHT

"If the time is not ripe, we have to ripen the time." ~ Dorothy Height

REST IN PEACE

Thank You---Rest In Peace

2010-04-15T09:03:00.006-05:00

01-31-25 to 04-15-2010

Dr. Benjamin Hooks is one of MANY known and unknown responsible for paving the way for my generation to have an equal chance in America. Because of him and others I do what I do...

THANK YOU Dr. Hooks

I am somebody because I am a CHILD of GOD ~ Dr. Benjamin Hooks...

Rest In Peace

PLEASE HELP...My Daughter Get a Role on GLEE

2010-04-12T11:50:00.009-05:00

Please help my baby daughter realize her dream. My baby has a genius IQ and for some reason she always wanted to be an actress. I have to admit she was my dramatic child. However, as a mother I insisted she pursue acting after she graduated college. She graduated Cum Lude from Vanderbilt University in 2007 with a double major in Communication Studies and Managerial Studies . She's interned during her college years with Pfizer Pharmaceuticals. She turned them down for a permanent position when she graduated and has been working for Cumberland Consultants. In the three years she's been with Cumberland, Tara is now a Health Care Managing Consultant.

More importantly, Tara gives back to her community she actively volunteers with several non-profits and participates in various charity marathons and 5K runs. My baby will be 25 years old tomorrow, April 13; she just made the cut off age for Glee by one year. She is the perfect candidate to be one of the three actors Glee is seeking because some people think she is 16 or 18 years old and she is talented.

Glee monologue

Glee MySpace Video

Glee song

Glee MySpace Video

If you thing my daughter has what it takes to be a future GLEEK go give her a Gold Star!

If you have a MySpace account please go and give my daughter a gold star. If you do not have a My Space account please sign up for one and give my daughter a gold star. I did not have a MySpace account, but I created one to vote for my daughter...you can delete the account after you VOTE.

HELP A MOTHER SPREAD THE WORD IN HELPING HER DAUGHTER REACH FOR THE STARS...CLICK HERE TO GO DIRECTELY TO TARA'S AUDITION PAGE.

Thanks,

Blinders Off

Where In The World Is Blinders Off

2010-03-21T18:57:00.006-05:00

The passing of the Health Care Reform bill is not the best reform toward the Health Care Industry, but it is a start. When are you leaving Limbaugh?

Free The Scott Sisters

2010-03-18T20:16:00.005-05:00

This is a story that needs ATTENTION! The time given to the Scott Sisters is an abuse of the Justice System....UNBELIEVABLE

I could not just read this and not participate by posting it on my blog. I hope the readers that come to this blog make the calls or write the letters after reading what happened to the Scott Sisters. The following is a copy and paste from the mother of the Scott Sisters blog:

Jamie Scott, who was convicted with her sister Gladys Scott and given double-life sentences each for an $11.00 robbery of which there was no credible evidence presented at trial, is suffering from complete kidney failure and other life-threatening medical conditions. The prison is aware of Jamie’s current condition yet Jamie remains in the prison infirmary.*

Mrs. Rasco and Afrosphere Bloggers are calling on the public to request that elected and prison officials in Mississippi immediately move Jamie to qualified medical facilities where she can receive proper medical care forthwith. We also ask that the media do investigative inquiry about this tragic situation and the outrageous case of the wrongfully convicted Scott Sisters!

CONTACT GOV. BARBOUR’S OFFICE
P.O. Box 139
Jackson, Mississippi 39205
1-877-405-0733 or 601-359-3150
Fax: 601-359-3741
(If you reach VM leave msgs, faxes, and please send letters)

CONTACT CHRISTOPHER EPPS
Christopher Epps, Commissioner of Prisons for the State of Mississippi
601-359-5600
CEPPS@mdoc.state.ms.us
723 North President Street
Jackson, MS 39202

Congressman Bennie Thompson
3607 Medgar Evers Blvd.
Jackson, MS 39213
601-946-9003(ph)
601-982-5337 (fx)
Benniethompson@mail.house.gov

Congressman John Conyers
2426 Rayburn H.O.B.
Washington, DC 20515
Ph: 202-225-5126
Fax: 202-225-0072

On 12/24/93, the Scott County Sheriff’s Department arrested Jamie and Gladys Scott for armed robbery even though three young males, ranging from ages 14 to 18, confessed to committing the crime and the women have unwaveringly maintained their complete innocence. Despite this, the corrupt Mississippi sheriff used coercion, threats, and harassment to compel the young men to turn state’s evidence against the Scott Sisters due to a long-standing vendetta against a family member. In 10/94 the Scott Sisters were sentenced to extraordinary double-life terms each, despite the facts that no one was harmed, neither sister had prior convictions, no weapon was ever recovered, and the amount alleged to have been taken was approximately $11.00. Even if they were guilty as charged, this sentence is completely outrageous and cruel.

The Scott Sisters are now in their 15th year of incarceration and their five children and grandchildren are being raised by their now ailing mother. The defendants and their family are wholly dependent on support from the press, organizations, and all those dedicated to justice in making this debacle as public as possible.

Their Story has had some success in getting media of late, the most notable being a very brief mention on HLN’s “Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell”, a clip of which is available to view here:

*Although Jamie was recently hospitalized due to a life-threatening infection, she continues to require ongoing close monitoring as once returned to the prison it has been proven on many occasions that are well documented at the website that the medical staff there has provided abysmal health care that has put Jamie's life at risk far too many times to be acceptable.

CONGRESS

2010-03-16T19:57:00.002-05:00

The following came to me by an email...Whoevever came up with it did a good job!

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

Not Bashful Being a Racist

2010-03-14T19:40:00.004-05:00

Racist are in many American Cities and Towns...It is time to CALL THEM OUT when they reveal themselves in a city or town near you.

Besides living with Multiple Sclerosis, I live in a town that has a reputation of being racist. I am the first to say when the military moved my family to Millington TN in 1995; I thought I was in the twilight zone. I hated the small town outside the Mid-South Navy Support Activity with a passion in the first two years living in Tennessee. I hated it so much I threaten to divorce my husband because I wanted to leave this small southern town that was twenty-two miles away from where Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated.

The fact of the matter is Millington deserved its reputation. However, I am a person who will confront racism and a bigot head on. I had to confront it with bigot teachers working for the Shelby County School System in Millington who tried to use the stroke of their pen to ruin my daughters' lives. I had to confront it with bigots who held supervisory positions during my employment on the Naval Base. I had to confront it with local bigot store owners. I had to confront it with bigots in my local government officials.

One would think confronting racism against me or one of my children in Millington that I would high tail my family out of Tennessee when my husband retired from the Military in 2000. I promise you my intention was to get the he** out of Tennessee when my husband retired. Obviously, there is truth to Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, but I am just going to quote verse one here "To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven."

I would be lying to say Millington is the same city it was when my family and I first moved here. Yes, Millington still has a short way to go, just like America has a long way to go. In reality, Millington is a diamond in the rough. There are more people who lived here all their lives and people like myself who have made Millington their home that are against RACISICM and BIGOTS. The bigots in this town are the minority just as they are the minority in the United States. If that was not so Barack Obama would not be President today.

When a cockroach of a person is cornered or feel they are losing control, they will do whatever it takes to get out of that corner and take back control. That is what the racist in America are doing now. They are no longer hiding their faces; today they are proud to wear their hatred as a badge of honor. It is disheartening to be hated because of the color of your skin, but I for one will not allow the ignorance of a few have me believe that of all. I will continue to fight against it head on. This post is because of a racist Millington business man who called the 44th President of the Unite States "A Fucking Nigger".

I prefer a racist showing their face...Thanks Ackerman for removing your hood and not being bashful about being a racist. It is difficult to tell who all of you are unless you openly admit it. Now that your hood is removed you have made easier exposing some more of you in Millington. An anonymous commenter said it best at Mediaverse when he or she quoted W.E.B. DuBois, "The ultimate evil in this world is ignorance. Its child is stupidity!"

Finally here is a quote from me in reference to the likes of Ackerman by C.S. Lewis “Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”

Waking Up To Snow

2010-02-08T05:54:00.005-06:00

Shelly and I was both surprise to see this at 5:30 this morning as I was letting her out to take care of business. During the weather section of the news last night, there was not one word of us getting 3-5 inches of SNOW. They were too busy telling us about what was going to happen in Missouri. To make matters worse after the snow we are suppose to get some freezing rain. Lord I hope not, we just went through that a week ago. I will take SNOW ove FREEZING RAIN any day.

West Tennesse is not use to 3-5 inches of snow, I guess I will take advantage of it and take some pictures of how beautiful snow is before the traffic and people start moving about.

UPDATE...

I am not bad at taking pictures, I spot a Robin in the tree and another bird birched on a utility wire. Bad news is we are getting some more snow the next several days...I thought I left this kind of weather up North :(

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. ~William James

2010-02-07T01:11:00.006-06:00

Sorry I have been gone awhile, but I have been very busy working hard with a non-profit I am very passionate about. It feels GREAT to believe in a vision, dedicate my time to cultivate programs and watch that vision come to fruition.

Our vision is that all children can develop and/or improve communication, public speaking and leadership skills; develop and/or improve self-esteem and self-confidence; and learn discipline by embracing the cultural arts.

Click and visit our website and read about the wonderful program we started in September and to keep up with future programs we will be doing. While I am at do not hesitate to become a FAN of Friendship Safehaven on Face Book. Also, I am not too proud to beg if you believe in what we are doing and can spare a few dollars, click on our donate tab to help us continue offering what we are doing for our young people FREE OF CHARGE.

UPDATE ON SMOKING

I have not stopped, but I have cut down tremendously...so please give me a little credit. The desire is there in my heart to stop, being honest to myself I do not want to stop completely. As one of my good virtual friend Black Diaspora said to me, "Once you make up your MIND to never pick up another cigarette that is when you will stop smoking." Your prayers were not in vain...I will stop smoking completely VERY SOON.

It Is Not A Want It Is A Need...

2010-01-04T00:54:00.009-06:00

TO QUIT SMOKING

Why is it hard to stop smoking? This is not a New Year's resolution for me to stop smoking because I have the desire to quit smoking every day. My addiction to Nicotine has been going on for over thirty years. I said I would quit when cigarette cost first start increasing many moons ago. I said I was going to quit smoking when smoking was no longer allowed in the work place many moons ago. Finally, I said I was going to quit in 2007 when my brand of cigarettes increased to $7.50 a pack, but all I did was switch to a brand (Salem Lights 100)that cost what my brand use to cost. There is no doubt in my mind that smoking is very harmful to me, but I tried all the stop smoking aides and going Cold Turkey with no success. I also know I could save $1,680 a year if I stop smoking. Hell, not only will I be taking better care of my health I would also be saving a hell of lot of money. Just the thought of what I can do with $1,680 during these economical times is endless.

People say you have to want to stop smoking, believe it or not I WANT TO STOP SMOKING and I NEED TO STOP SMOKING. The following smoking aides did not work for me because I experienced severely more than one of the side effects that comes with taking them such as mood or behavior changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, or if you feel impulsive, irritable, agitated, hostile, aggressive, restless, hyperactive (mentally or physically), more depressed, or have thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself, changes in dreaming or sleeping pattern, constipation, gas, nausea, vomiting.

Wellbutrin

Zyban

Nicorette Gum

Nicotine Patches

Chantix

Going Cold Turkey did not work for me because I experience some of the above mentioned side effects and I morphed into Linda Blair on the fourth day of not having nicotine. However, I decided January 05, 2010 I am going to go into the depth of hell. I am about to battle the desire to continue to feed my body nicotine. I went into the depth of hell and made it back when I quit giving my body morphine to battle my pain because I knew the morphine was killing me. I should be able to quit giving my body nicotine, especially since I know it is the root of some of my medical problems and it is slowly killing me and I can use the money.

I know it is going to be hard for me, therefore, I ask my virtual buddies to have me in their prayers as I fight to surpress and eventually kill the desire of wanting my last demon called Nicotine. I will keep you guys posted on my progress.
I will also remind myself as I go through this process that "I can do all things through Christ who STRENGTHENS ME."

Out With The Old...In With The New

2009-12-31T19:53:00.005-06:00

Continue to stay POSITIVE in 2010

Copaxone Price Shock

2009-12-28T20:04:00.005-06:00

Presently, I cannot complain with how much I pay for prescription medication, but it is just a matter of time I will have huge out of pocket deductibles for my medications. I am fortunate to have the benefit of getting most of my prescriptions filled at a Military base pharmacy at no charge. However, I noticed prescriptions I take are slowly being phased out and I have no choice but to go to an outside pharmacy. In the past my co-pays use to be $3.00 generic and $9.00 brand. My co-pays are now $3.00 for a generic, $9.00 for a brand formula drug and $22.00 for a brand non-formula drug. If you are thinking most of my drugs are now brand non-formula...ding ding you are correct!

I made a conscious decision to not become dependent on the many drugs MS'ers are prescribed for every nuisance the disease bring our way. Yes, my neurologist did not like me taking most of my drugs as needed. My rationale to her dislike is...I am the one living with MS and I know my body better than anyone. I am not trying to play doctor, but I do know that I feel a lot better taking medication as I need it than taking it every day when the MS symptom or symptoms are no longer present.

However, Health Care Reform is definitely needed in America. Although, IMO what is being called Health Care Reform is a bunch of BS...KO eloquently tells you WHY! Washington needs to stop the RAPE of American citizens from the fraud and abuse of the Health Care and Big Pharma Industry...AND Washington needs to stop the BS political games at our expense! We are being raped with higher deductibles and co-pays because of the bullshit I just discovered. It is a damn shame how one pharmacy chain can charge almost twice as much for Copaxone and not be held accountable to WHY they are charging more than another reputable pharmacy chain.

Case and point, for years I have been filling my Copaxone prescription at the grocery chain Kroger Pharmacy, until December of 2008, I decided to have my Copaxone filled at Walgreens. Now I know how Walgreens can afford to have a pharmacy on every corner in about every state. I always assumed my insurance was paying Walgreens the same as they did Kroger after my co-pay until today. Express Scripts never sent me an Explanation of Benefits before today. They were not doing me any favors, what they were doing was soliciting me to mail order my Cymbalta through them; Which I plan to do because I can receive three months supply for $22.00 a month. Duh, who would not want to save $44.00? The SHOCK on the EOB was the amount TRICARE was paying Walgreens after my co-pay; I thought it had to be some sort of mistake. Therefore I went and pulled my 2008 prescription profile to see if Copaxone had a 100% price increase.

I discovered in November 2008, after paying my $9.00 co-pay at Kroger's for my Copaxone, my insurance paid them $1,783.00, which was an increased from 1,666.97 three months prior. However, in December 2008, I discovered after paying my $9.00 co-pay at Walgreens for my Copaxone, my insurance paid Walgreens $2,806.00 that is a freaking $1,023.00 difference. ..WTF!

Here is the industry BS according the EOB from Express Script I received today. Walgreens submitted a bill of $3,005.51 for my Copaxone, my insurance allowed amount is $2,562.19, I paid my $9.00 co-pay and TRICARE paid Walgreens $2,554.53. That amount is still MORE than what Kroger charges. Walgreens is pricing their drugs pass the allowable amount, knowing they will get paid the maximum amount allowed by my insurance...I have a bridge to sell you if you do not think the system is broken! It does not take a rocket scientist to see what the eff is going on with the industry.

Hell, its just a matter of time I will be paying for this fraud and abuse. It does not make any freaking sense how one monthly disease modifying drug cost $30,746.28 a year...at that rate a cure will never be found. TRICARE should have never paid Walgreens that much money. TRICARE would have been more cost efficient and proactive in their efforts of informing ME the drug I depend on daily to slow the progression of my MS cost them $21,396 a year at Kroger Pharmacy.

TRICARE listen up, I am going to save you $9,350.28 a year...I am switching my Copaxone prescription BACK to Kroger Pharmacy. How about a THANK YOU!

PEACE ON EARTH

2009-12-23T23:02:00.006-06:00

To all:

My Christmas wish for you, my friend
Is not a simple one
For I wish you hope and joy and peace,
Days filled with warmth and sun.

I wish you love and friendship too,
Throughout the coming year.
Lots of laughter and happiness,
To fill your world with cheer.

May you count your blessings, one by one and when totaled by the lot, May you find all you've been given, To be more than what you sought.

May your journeys be short, your burdens light May your spirit never grow old, May all your clouds have silver linings, And your rainbows pots of gold.

I wish this all and so much more,
May all your dreams come true,
May you have a Merry Christmas friend
And a happy New Year, too.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND A BLESSED NEW YEAR!

2010 National MS Society Scholarship

2009-12-20T23:14:00.003-06:00

Sorry I am late posting the National MS Society scholarship information this year. Fortunately, you still have 3 weeks to get it done for yourself, graduating son or daughter...deadline is January 15, 2010.

• Who is eligible?

o High school seniors who have a parent with MS who will be attending an accredited postsecondary school for the first time.

o High school seniors who have MS and will be attending an accredited postsecondary school for the first time.

o High school (or GED) graduates of any age who have MS and who will be attending an accredited postsecondary school for the first time.

o High school (or GED) graduates of any age who have a parent with MS and who will be attending an accredited postsecondary school for the first time.

o Applicants must be United States citizens or legal residents living in the U.S., Puerto Rico, U.S. Virgin Islands, Guam or any other U.S. territory and plan to enroll in an undergraduate course of study at an accredited two-or four-year college, university, or vocational-technical school located in the U.S., PR, VI, Guam or any other U.S. territory. Applicants must be enrolled in at least six credit hours per semester in course work leading to a degree, license, or certificate.

Click HERE for application and process

Marie Claire Should Have Thought Twice About Running This MS Story...

2009-12-13T01:17:00.008-06:00

I was sent an email to read and give my opinion as a blog post on the following article, "I Had an Unthinkable Disease...And Made Myself Better" written by Kate Milliken, as told to Abigail Pesta, that appeared in Marie Claire January 2010 magazine.

Yes, my story is controversial. People worry that I'll spread false hope. Once, a woman who had suffered from MS for 30 years said to me from her wheelchair, "Don't tell me to put a Post-it note on my mirror—give me a break." Some say maybe I never had MS to begin with. All I know is that the doctors diagnosed it, and I have the before-and-after MRI scans to prove that a lesion had come and gone.

I continue to take the injections, along with a few vitamins.

First let me say, YES! Her story is controversial. It is also irresponsible of Marie Claire to publish the article of person who was diagnosis with MS and twelve months later they are claiming to no longer have signs of MS lesions. The storyteller did not say if she had her MRI's with and without contrast. There is a chance of having an MRI without contrast that will not show lesions clearly that is why when given an MRI it is best to have it with contrast so there will be no dispute of the reading.

I have an issue with the story teller stating in the article, "A day after my scan, I met with one of my doctors at Mt. Sinai, Dr. Stephen Krieger. His words floored me: No new lesions. As for the lesion that had caused all my problems? It had "faded significantly," he said.

"Is it smaller?" I asked him.

"It's actually so faint, the radiologist didn't recognize it," he said. "That's as good as it gets."

I have to believe she was given an MRI without contrast. It is irresponsible to claim she no longer have MS lesions. If she no longer has lesions or symptoms of MS, why continue to take daily Copaxone injections, one of the drugs that slow down the progression of MS. You either have MS or you do not, as far as I know, as of today there is no known cure for MS.

I am happy for her that she is no longer having an MS exacerbation. There is nothing wrong with positive thinking and adjusting your lifestyle to live with an unthinkable disease, but is wrong and irresponsible to claim to no longer have MS lesions because of holistic treatment, but your still taking a daily disease modifying drug injection.

What are your thoughts?

Soldier of Love

2009-12-10T23:23:00.006-06:00

It has been 10 long years and I resigned to the fact she was not going to release any new music, as far as I am concern her music is classic and I enjoy listening to it often. However, I am ecstatic SADE is BACK! Here is a single released from her upcoming new CD in stores February 2010.

From Math-A-Thon to Marathon

2009-12-06T17:25:00.019-06:00

I am so proud of my baby girl for running in the St. Jude Marathon. The temperature at the start of the race was in the low twenties. Her group finished a little bit over three hours. My poor baby legs are sore, but like she said, "I am sore behind a good cause." I remember like it was yesterday when she use to raise money for St. Jude volunteering in the St. Jude Math-A-thon when she was in elementary shool. It felt GOOD to see her continue the values I taught her while watching her come across the finish line at Auto Zone Park running in her first half marathon ( 13.1) miles on Saturday, December 5.

CONGRATULATIONS! TARA, BARBARA and CHASITY (mom and daughter, Tara's other mom and sister) for completing your first marathon as team "Curls R Us". Now that they have the marathon bug, I have the travelling bug to CHEER THEM ON. Next stop New Orleans the Mardi Gras Half Marathon in February.

L-R (my baby)Tara, Barabara, and Chasity

On a sad note...

A woman died after completing the half marathon. Her death was the first death in the thirty years St. Jude has been doing marathons. My condolence to her family.

Tara's experience in her own words that was published in the paper.

Bloggers BEWARE

2009-12-04T23:16:00.009-06:00

The Federal Trade Commission revised their rules for bloggers when it comes to giving endorsements or testimonial about a product or service.

Bloggers who receives cash or in-kind payment to review a product is considered an endorsement. Thus, bloggers who make an endorsement must disclose the material connections they share with the seller of the product or service.

The revised Guidelines state:

Bloggers and online word-of-mouth marketers are require disclosing any material connection to a company when reviewing the company’s products or services (failure to disclose any payment or receipt of free product from an advertiser or someone acting on their behalf could expose you to liability).

Click here for entire revised FTC revised guidelines.

Nice to know I do not have to worry about being expose to any liabilities because when I blog about a drug or a product I am not getting paid by Big Pharma or a Corporation.

It was just a matter of time that the FTC changed the rules and regulations because of the massive amount of people who blog and or have a social network site. IMO, it is about the FTC revised their rules and regulations on endorsements or testimonials. If a person is getting paid to speak good or bad about a product or service, it is an unfair advantage or disadvantage.

Now it time for the FTC to get to work on regulations for individuals and organizations with blogs, that are being paid by Big Pharma, the Health Care Industry and Big Business when it comes to politics in American.

Claiming "Freedom of Speech" when you are being paid to influence legislation and be divisive is getting old.

Stress Control for the Holiday Season

2009-11-21T21:23:00.007-06:00

I was apprehensive when I first began blogging about my personal life living with ms, then a few of my politic views, and social issues for the world to see. I never expected anyone to really read my blog. Instead of going to a MS support group, blogging became my therapy. To my surprise thousands of people read my blog a month and my blog went from being worth zero dollars, then to $4,205.00 in 2007, and now today worth $10,726.26.

I could not believe it when a major newspaper offered me a freelance writer job because of my blogging. To get paid monthly to write articles for the last two years have lifted my spirits, because I was devastated when my multiple sclerosis symptoms caused me to stop working in a profession I loved. (I know some of you are probably wondering how did that happen with the writing errors I makes on some of my posts. All I can say is do not let my writing fool you on my blog...lol). The second great thing to happen from blogging is that I have gotten to know some wonderful people via cyberspace.

Most importantly it has been amazing from the emails and comments that my honesty about living with ms has helped them. In addition having my blog featured on two well respected medical websites. Finally, to have a freelance writer wanting to guest blog on my blog with helpful articles is the icing on the cake. I love the article she wrote and I am looking forward to her doing more.

I hope you all enjoy the following article "Stress Control for the Holiday Season" by Mary Ward as much as I did...

The holidays are here again, and for many people that means a great deal of joy. For many people, the holidays also signify a whole lot of stress and anxiety as well. As the family comes together and there’s so much to do, it’s easy to see how anybody can quickly feel the stress. Don’t be a victim of the holiday stress! There are some simple and effective ways to control it so that it doesn’t overtake you. If you think through things in advance and work hard to remember what the season is all about, then you can learn to cope with anything that comes your way.

Have a Solid Plan

The problem for most people is that they don’t have a plan. Between the cooking, the shopping, the decorating, the baking, and writing out Christmas cards it can all get a bit overwhelming. Fortunately if you approach it with a clear head and have a plan, you are sure to be far more successful. Take the time before the craziness hits to plan out everything that you have to accomplish, and be sure to prioritize. Make a master “to do list” that can serve as your work in progress. List out the people that you need to buy presents for, the food that you have to shop for, and anything that you need to accomplish along with any deadlines associated with each activity.

Remember What It’s All About

The holidays can quickly become stressful if you don’t stop to remember what they are all about. If you have kids in your life, look at the joy on their face that the holidays bring. Think back to any special memories, or find a way of reconnecting to good times shared in the past. This is meant to be a joyful time and if you can actually take the time to remember that, then it will make it much more enjoyable along the way. Sometimes taking the time to enjoy the journey as much as the destination can bring much joy in and of itself.

Stay Organized

Though it sounds obvious, many people lose their way at some point. You may have the best of intentions and start out with a good solid plan, but somewhere along the way it gets lost. Either you give into the stress or you end up coming across additional tasks or unforeseen circumstances. Do your best to update your list, stay organized by checking off what you’ve already done and what you still have to do. Wrap presents as you get them for example. When you’re heading to the grocery store, make a master list of everything you’ll need for cooking and baking. If you have the opportunity, you can even try to buy some items ahead to save you the last minute trips. Staying organized along the way, no matter what is thrown at you, can save you a lot of stress during the holiday season.

Mary Ellen Ward blogs about how to choose among LPN to RN degrees.

From ME (Blinders Off) to YOU

In The Arms Of ANGELS

2009-11-17T15:19:00.004-06:00

When I first heard and saw the picture about 5-year-old Shaiya Davis, I said a prayer for her safe return. Seeing her beautiful face took my mind back to all the wonderful times I had with my daughters at that age and I thought about how I would KILL or DIE for them.

I feel sadness and I say a prayer for every young child that has been reported missing and died at the hands of another. Shaiya Davis, touched me like no other story I have ever heard. I cried as if she was one of my daughters, I prayed for her like I never prayed before. Shaiya Davis is safe now, she is in the arms of Angels and I thank God for bringing her home to a place no one can ever hurt her again.

I cannot imagine not loving my daughters. I cannot imagine not protecting my daughters. I damn sure cannot imagine passing my daughter to sexual deviants. Most of all I cannot imagine my daughters leaving this world before me.

The death penalty is too good for this MONSTER Antoinette Nicole Davis. She deserves no protection from prison justice by putting her in isolation; put her in with the general prison population to receive prison justice. Then put her back in her cell nightly so her demons can destroy her because she allowed her demons to destroy Shaiya Davis.

The Fight Is On Today!

2009-09-26T04:12:00.005-05:00

My body is tired, but my mind is not. Nerves on my right side is burning and tingling, but my left side is not. It feels weird when one side of your body feels very different from the other the last time I felt split in half it was the left side of my body.

My body is tired and my mind is not because INSOMNIA decided to visit me. If INSOMNIA thinks it is going to prevent me from doing what I have to do later today it have another thing coming.

My day is going to be interesting because MS causes life to be out of the ordinary. We have to adjust to the burdens of the symptoms of MS and I have plans that I must and want to keep today.

However, at my last neurologist appoint a month ago. I did mention to the doctor how painful my fingers were in my right hand. She told me what I already knew, which was it was the nerves in my fingers. I am an expert on distinguishing PAIN, but I would not wish NERVE PAIN on my worst enemy. It is one thing to have severe pain, but serve pain that also burns is HELL. Let me get back to my neurologist, insomnia is causing my mind to wander.

It is time to give the doctor a call because the nerve pain in my right hand fingers is now afflicted my entire right side and feeling slight dizzy on and off. In the early years of living with MS, I would have stress myself out wondering what is going on, but now I know better. Not that I am playing doctor, but I am 99.9% my doctor is going to order up Solu-Medrol…the remedy when MS exacerbate.

Nonetheless, that call can what until Monday; there is no need for me to ruin the day I have plan. I am tired and my right side feels like Hell, but I have a plan...THE FIGHT IS ON.

I PLAN TO WIN TODAY!

Fight The Symptoms MS Throw At You

2009-09-14T23:49:00.009-05:00

I AM BLESSED
click the title and hear why I am BLESSED

Thanks for the well wishes by email. For those who have been reading my blog for a while you know I do not get religious on you because I do not believe in pushing my faith on others. We each have to answer for our self when that time comes.

However, I am shouting it today I Thank GOD for BLESSING me. It is no secret for us who live with multiple sclerosis that it is a terrible illness, but I am thankful for what living with multiple sclerosis has brought to my life. Hmmm, I bet some of you are asking yourself, “WHY”...Let me tell you why.

There was a time when the pains I live with daily intensified to the point were I was ready to take my life. During the last several weeks, I have been living with so much pain that would bring an elephant to its knees. The pain was in my entire body, but it magnified in certain areas. This may sound crazy, but I felt as if I was at war with good and evil. Ummm, let me explain myself before you all think I am nuts.

Some of you know I have not let my disability keep me from fighting injustices and being involved to empower our youth. Thankfully, I had not had to fight any injustices lately, since I have been successful in unseating our last Mayor to bring about change in my community. I have been busy with a non-profit in bringing a program for the underserved (I will talk more about that on another post) and working with the Kiwanis (which I am a member). Out of nowhere the pain, I was use to on a daily basis start intensifying; it was becoming difficult to move. I would wake up stiffer than the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz. MS is a mean SOB; it is as if when you try to continue to have a life, it throws one or more of the many symptoms your way. It does that because it wants you to lie in bed all day and feel sorry for yourself. I REFUSED to do that once I went through my grieving period after my initial diagnosis. I witness too many MSers give up on life and they are now in a wheel chair or in a nursing home.

The fight was on these pass several weeks, I oiled myself up by thinking positive when I woke up. I made myself get out of bed; I made myself make it to meeting for the causes I was working on this summer. The good out of this was the people I was working with never knew the difference. I did not have to go around them when I was too stiff to move, I made up for that by doing what I could from home. It was the fight of pushing on is why I am back to blogging. The evil of the pass several weeks was how my MS PAIN tried to take me down. I am going to try to draw a mental picture. Pain exploded through out my body like a nuclear bomb and while one nuclear bomb went off in my body another localized in three of my right fingers making that area worse. I am right handed and it was so bad, if I was not in my right mind I probably would have cut my fingers off, because I kept moving PAIN deciding to explode another nuclear bomb in my head. I was tempted to put on a morphine patch (yes, although I kicked the morphine, I did not throw out my last refill), because I am bless, I did not put on a patch. To get some relief, I down a couple of Lortab 10mg a day, which is not bad because you know we can take up to six a day. I did not want to go back to dependency of Morphine, although by using morphine I do not feel PAIN. I could not go back to it because I know it was slowing killing me (causing problems with my heart).

I vowed the last time PAIN drove me to the point of taking my life, I would never allow PAIN to do that to me again. I am blessed because I did not once THINK about going there. I am blessed because I did not give into pain and start taking morphine again, finally I am blessed because the program for underserved children started September 12 and I was able to do my volunteer duty with the Kiwanis where hundreds of young children have ID’s with COMEC if (God forbid) they become missing.

It is not over until God says it is over keep fighting and praying while living with Multiple Sclerosis or any other chronic illness.

Notice of Address Change

2009-08-07T21:29:00.010-05:00

click on picture to read

I use to dread the summer because of heat. Heat is like kryptonite for us MS'ers. I am now beginning to dread Summer time because this is the second year in a row death has taken people who have a special place in my heart.

I have been trying to keep my spirits up since the lost of Cookie. Then I heard about my Uncle Julius being sick with cancer. No sooner had I heard about him being ill, the angel of death called him home. I felt bad that the pain I have been experiencing kept me from making it to his funeral and I could not be there for my father who had lost his oldest brother.

I know my father understood why I could not be there and I know Uncle Julius is in a better place. It was a blessing he did not have to suffer long when he was told he had cancer. I have not been blogging lately because I have a heavy heart and my body is in pain. It hurts to type when I also have pain in my fingers. I been wanting to put a tribute to my Uncle on my blog and what better time to fight through my pain and put the above Notice of Address Change, I received from his son today. The notice definitely lifted some of the heaviness I feel in my heart.

Rest in Peace....Uncle Julius

Bee Venom Love

2009-07-26T00:14:00.008-05:00

I am sure every mother feels their daughters are the best. I know I do, I thank GOD for my jewels. I am thankful that I lived to see myself in my girls; there was a time I did not think I would be around to see them grow up to be the beautiful women they are today. Having them in my life has made it easier to live with this ugly disease called multiple sclerosis.

Everyday is a struggle getting up; everyday is different from the next. During the past two weeks, it took every ounce of energy I had to go on with my day against the pounding punches of PAIN. Many days I wanted to relieve myself from this excruciating pain by putting on a morphine patch.

I wanted it so bad, but I refused to give in because I NEVER want to experience this again. I cannot hide anything from my daughters; they seem to know when I am having a hard time with multiple sclerosis. I opened my email one day and received the following from one of my daughters:

Mom I saw that honeybee venom is a therapy that treats MS pain. I saw this on "Radical Hollywood Remedies" last night and did some research and found this link about it. On the special, it says the honeybee therapy cost $75 a session. I suggest you try this and I will pay for your first session. I suggest this because I truly believe you should try natural remedies to lure yourself off the drugs. It doesn't hurt to try natural procedures since God put them on earth for us to use to heal our bodies to live a longer healthier life. Everyone please let me know all your thoughts on this.

http://health.discovery.com/centers/althealth/beetherapy/bkgsclerosis.html

Then there was this reply email from another daughter:

I think it's an absolutely wonderful idea! I'll try it with you!

I appreciate my daughters looking out for me and wanting to pay for me to have some bee venom because of their love for me, I do not know if I can do this. I am paranoid about trying something new. I know I do not want to go back to wearing morphine patches again and my doctors do not want to prescribe Lortab like they use to...thanks to all the accidental overdosing in the entertainment industry.

I survived this many years living with pain, with God’s help, I will make it some more years. However, I am open to natural pain resources; I am not saying I will never try bee venom as a natural pain remedy. I am old school and I have to get over my paranoia trying new drugs or natural remedies…blame it on my Daddy I get it from him :-)

THE REAL CULPRITS OF EVIL

2009-07-11T13:37:00.002-05:00

MONEY... GREED... AND... HATE

ARE THE CULPRITS DESTROYING AMERICA

Rollercoaster Day

2009-07-08T23:13:00.005-05:00

I should be use to it, but how can you get use to not knowing what MS symptom you will experience from minute to minute, day to day. Today is one of those days, I had hope the MS roller coaster ride I felt my body taking would not last the entire day. So much for hoping, it has been getting worse as I type my woes. A new day is approaching maybe it will be better than today.

I am home alone and I have been tempted to call one of my daughters, instead I do what I always do to take my mind off how I feel. I go and visit the many blogs I like to read. I post comments regularly on some of my fellow MS’ers blogs. You can count on one had how many times I ranted in the four years I have been a blogger.

Today I did something out of character. I know I can rant on my fellow MS’ers blog, but today I ranted about trolls taking over one of my favorite blogs that is not someone who lives with MS. What the blogosphere do not know about us MS blogger we blog about current issues or whatever the heck is on our minds. Unfortunately, my rant was not on that blog it was on another blog I like that is not troll infested.
What I did not expect was someone taking it personally.

As I thought about, I think some people look for any reason to get pissed off. I do not engage in cyberspace arguing, what is the point of that. We all have a right to our opinions, I read many opinions I do not agree with, but I am not going to beat you over the head to drive my point of view home. There is a difference in toll engagement and engagement for understanding.

Trolls take over blogs when they should get there on damn blog since they have so much to say and provoke a response to practically every damn comment. Trolls intent is to engage that is why I do not freaking engage trolls. I was hoping the trolls that invaded my favorite blog find another home. Hell, they are starting to multiply. The main troll now has a following that is taking over the comment section from the regular people who comments that I enjoy reading.

I do know this I WILL NOT allow the trolls that invaded my favorite blog to run me off from reading it. Now that the troll followers are commenting with their leader and amongst themselves, should not be long before they will highjack another blog or go back to their leader blog.

Finally At PEACE

2009-07-07T16:31:00.004-05:00

Michael Jackson Memorial Service was BEAUTIFUL. I remember that day in 1969 when the world saw Michael Jackson and his brothers on the Ed Sullivan Show. I grew up to the music of a genius and in my eyes as a Black American, HE DID bust down doors that were closed to us.

I enjoyed the entire Memorial, but there were three highlights for me that reflected Michael Jackson and how he should be remember. Maya Angelou poem written for Michael that Queen Latifah read, eulogy by Rev. Al Sharpton, and the eulogy by Congresswoman Shelia Jackson Lee

I know this is too much to ask for, but I hope the mainstream media put a STOP to dragging his name in negative talk. If they must keep talking, talk about his talent, and humanitarian deeds. We all live in glass houses, unfortunately, a super star as Michael Jackson always had someone throwing rocks to shatter his glass house for financial gain.

He never had a normal life. He could not enjoy a stroll in the park, shop with his family in a mall, take in a movie, and go to a grocery store…you get the point, without being stalked or harassed. He was a prisoner who had to create his own NEVERLAND to have some sort of normalcy in life.

Michael Jackson completed his purpose God gifted him to do and now he is at home…

FINALLY AT PEACE

Funding For Community Health Care Centers

2009-07-05T15:06:00.005-05:00

On June 29, 2009 First Lady Michelle Obama announced the release of $851 million in grants to address immediate and pressing health center facility and equipment needs and increase access to health care for millions of Americans

"Community Health Centers provide care to the Americans who need it most and their work has never been more important," said Obama. "These grants will help Unity’s Upper Cardozo and thousands of centers across the country expand and serve more Americans who simply can’t afford insurance coverage anymore. ."

To find a Community Health Center in your state click here

Wishing All A Safe and Enjoyable Independence Day

2009-07-03T23:16:00.004-05:00

Against Medical Advice

2009-06-29T12:04:00.007-05:00

There is no doubt in my mind had I not had insurance the hospital would have booted me out when all indications were that I was stabilized from the reaction I had with Copaxone and tests showed that I did not have a heart attack. The only reason they wanted me to stay for further heart tests was because of my family history of heart disease.

When are doctors going to realize a person who lives with a chronic illness know their bodies better than anyone does? Most importantly, chronically
ill people know when they need medical help and are intelligent enough to seek
it when needed. If you are like me, the less I have to seek medical
attention, the better off I am.

Give me a break, do you honestly think I care I had to sign a piece a paper that I was leaving against medical advice because I did not want to stay for a freakin stress test the next morning. The way I saw it the hospital just wanted to get more money from my insurance for an overnight stay...I HATE STAYING IN A HOSPITAL. Did they really think I want to be poked and bothered every four hours when my vital signs were stabled, just to have a stress test the next morning? Hospitals recommending and insisting on unneccesary hospital stays is one of the problems with our health care system.

I experienced my third Immediate Post Injection Reaction after my Copaxone injection. Seconds after pulling the needle out of my thigh and grabbing the cotton ball to stop the blood that oozed from the injection site. A volcano erupted inside my body. It felt as if the medication exploded. I literally felt a burning rush travel up the top half of my body and slowly flow back down to the soles of my feet. My eyeballs rolled backed as my chest tighten with every rapid heartbeat. I was scared out of my mind, I could not breathe, thank God, my husband felt something was wrong and came upstairs to check on me.

As he dialed 911, I prayed for calmness and not to fear what was happening. I knew in my mind it was an IPIR experience and I held on to the belief no one ever died from one. The grip on my chest eased to the point I could breathe a little better. I thought my experience was about to be over until the severe itching and whelps start popping up over my body and a strange taste entered my mouth.

I start cursing living with MS and the medication that caused the hell I was living now. I could not understand why this was happening to me again. I thought IPIR’s were so rare that the odds of me having one again were slim to none. Well, the joke is on me. I was told that when I experienced my first one in 2007, yet I had another one months later in 2008.

On the transport to the emergency room, my tongue felt as if it was swelling and the itching made me want to peel my skin off. The EMT feverously injected an IV in my veins and shot me up with Benadryl. By the time I made it to the ER, I was drowsy and in a better state of mind. Hours later after an infusion of Solu Medrol, my body felt like its regular multiple sclerosis living self. The ER doctor asked how I felt and I told her the truth, she informed me that my test came back good and my vitals were stabled and I could go home after she consult with the ER doctor in charge.

I could have been knocked over by a feather when she came back in and said, "We want to keep you for further tests." "Why!", I asked. She said, "There are other test that they wanted me to take in the morning to check my heart." There was no need for me to stay to take further heart tests the next day, so I refused to stay. I explained to them, "I have a cardiologist and I have been given all required test because of my family history last year in May. You asked how I feel and I told you I feel much better than when I arrived, my vitals are stabled, and the heart enzyme blood work came back indicating all is well, therefore, there is no need for me to stay overnight for further heart testing in the morning."

I kid you not they were trying to put the fear of God in me. They went on and on about the chest pain I had with the IPIR and it was in my best interest to let them perform further testing because of family history. I was getting annoyed with their persistence about staying in the hospital. Why it is medical personnel do not really listen to patients who are in tune with their health situation and body is beyond me. Did they not hear me! When I said, “I recently had the tests they wanted to perform done by my own cardiologist and I will call him first thing Monday morning to follow up on why the wanted me to stay in the hospital.” The last place I wanted to be was in a hospital and my birthday was coming up Sunday, when I knew all was right with me again.

This may sound strange, but I was elated and confused knowing I was not going to die after having an IPIR. I was and still am confused on what to do about a disease-modifying drug to slow down the progression of my multiple sclerosis. Should I continue taking Copaxone? I know Copaxone is working for me because I have not had any new brain lesions and my exacerbations have been less lately during the years I have been taking Copaxone. Unfortunately, the IPIR reactions are worse each time I have one. I am obviously, in that rare percentile that experiences IPIR while taking Copaxone. It is a terrible experience and I do not like going through it, but who is to say I will not have worst experiences on my other three choices of a DMD. I thought about not taking anything at all, but after talking with my Dad. I promised him I would continue taking a DMD for my disease For now, I am going to take some time off from taking my daily injection until I make a decision on what I am going to do.

Anywho, all is well for now and I enjoyed my birthday with my family at home :) I will make a decision soon, but I am leaning towards staying on Copaxone because at least I know what it will do to me unlike the other DMD's.

Angel of Death Hit Hard This Week

2009-06-25T17:45:00.009-05:00

Wow, my heart was saddened to hear about the death of my cousin Lorraine “Cookie” Union Monday June 22, 2009. Followed by the death of Ed McMahon from the Johnny Carson Show Tuesday, June 23, 2009. Now today June 25, 2009 the death of two icons in the entertainment industry...Farrah Fawcett of Charlie’s Angel and Michael Jackson formerly of the Jackson 5.

May you all Rest In Peace.

Below is a picture I took of Michael Jackson when I spent a summer in California. My Uncle bought some of the best tickets in the arena for me and my cousins to see the Jackson 5 in Sun Valley…of course I was the teenager in 1975 with the best summer story after being that close to the Jackson 5. That is Michael behind Marlon :)

The Angels Took Her Home

2009-06-22T18:29:00.011-05:00

I hate those early morning calls. It is never good news; I think I am still in shock. I did not believe my sister when she said, “Cookie is dead.” My heart felt like it broke into a million pieces. No, it cannot be, not my Cookie, I just talked to her Saturday. I have so much to say about my first cousin Cookie, but it hurts too much.

Her last words to me was Saturday, June 20, “Hey Deb, I love you” my last words to her was “I love my Cookie.” Those words are what is giving me some strength this moment. We do not have a guarantee that we will here or see a love one again. Therefore, end your conversations with “I LOVE YOU”.. Cookie died from a massive heart attack June 21.

My Life Reflections (In Cookie's Own Words)...click on image to read it

RIP...Lorane “Cookie” Union
I will miss you, but I will always remember the FUN TIMES.

My DAD...It's Your Day

2009-06-21T08:13:00.008-05:00

I am the woman I am today because of my Dad. He is the one who instilled in me the importance of LOVE. It is strange how he gave me good advice on LOVE :-(, but did not take his on advice when it came to my mother.

My world was devastated at the age of 16. My mother filed for divorced and he could never come back to the house I call home. Yes, I acted out, but because he stayed in my life outside of the home, we once shared. I continued to have a Father’s Love to this day.

Any man can be called a Dad, but it takes a REAL MAN to be called a FATHER…

For example, I married a REAL MAN.

He gave and gives a father's love to my daughters when their DAD could no longer have their mother after a divorce.

He never took away his love from his own daughter after his divorce.

He went for custody of his daughter when her home life was not the right environment.

He is greatly responsible for three beautiful little girls, who matured into three beautiful, intelligent, strong, loving, compassionate young women.

Most of all, he is a man that knows how to treat and love the woman who shares his love.

Today is not only Father's Day...today we celebrate nineteen years together.

Happy Father's Day and Anniversary MY LOVE!

Held Captive Only If You Allow It

2009-06-21T01:46:00.003-05:00

Summer is a beautiful time of the year. Lots of activities and events are planned for outdoors. Unfortunately, when you live with multiple sclerosis the heat during the summer can hold you captive if you allow it.

I was looking forward to attend an annual political picnic Saturday. I knew it was going to be hot, but I was not going to let that keep me from trying to make the event this year. The heat was extreme, I could not last any more than getting out my car and making it to the grounds. Oh, well that is life living with MS. I felt good trying it instead of staying captive in the house because of the temperature outside. There is always next year.

It can get depressing when you try to attend an outside function and the heat is too much for you to enjoy it. Instead of getting depress always have a back up plan or two if you have to leave an outside event because of the heat. Enjoy every day of the summer month regardless of the heat. Plan accordingly by monitoring the weather report.

The weather report for next week here is 97 degrees across the board, with the heat index well over 100. I already planned accordingly :)

I AM NOT GOING TO LET THE HEAT OF THE SUMMER HOLD ME CAPTIVE IN MY HOUSE…HAVE A WONDERFUL SUMMER…I PLAN TO!

Blame It - Jamie Foxx- BARACK OBAMA SPOOF

2009-06-18T19:11:00.007-05:00

With all that is wrong in this country, I will have PATIENCE for President Obama to evoke CHANGE. He is only one man it is the men and women on Capitol Hill who we the American people should hold responsible if change is slow in coming or does not come at all...Remember The Republican Party talking piece want him to fail. Hmmm, there is something wrong with the Americans who hang on every word of an addict that speaks for the Republican Party?

President Barack Obama did not create this mess in America, but they the Republican Party want people to believe its President Obama’s fault. Let us not forget it was them, the Republican Party in charged for the last eight years and rubber stamped the Bush Administration. I also blame men and women of the Democrat Party for not putting up a fight to the bullying of the Republican Party.

To sum up opinion BOTH PARTIES are the blame for the mess the United States is experiencing. Capital Hill has been bought and paid for by the super rich and big businesses. I personally am ready for new, young, intelligent, uncorrupt faces with new ideas on Capital Hill who is not afraid to take on the thieves that robbed America blind.

click here...I endorse Blame IT-Jamie Foxx-Barack Obama Spoof

Americans Are What Is Wrong With America…

2009-06-17T10:56:00.006-05:00

When is it going to stop…?

My healthcare coverage was the best to have, but over the years, benefits are slowly disappearing, while my premium is slowly rising. Out of pocket expenses were something I did not dread, but I dread going to get a prescription. Co-pays are steadily increasing. So far, I am still one of the fortunate ones to afford my drugs to fight MS… What about the ones who cannot afford to take the expensive Avones, Beastron, Copaxone, Rebif, and Tysabri to slow the progression of multiple sclerosis.

DMD’s cost more than what many Americans make a year, mine in particular cost $1700.00 a month. I will not be surprise if day come when my health insurance carrier find a way for me to pick up most of that cost. If that day comes, I will be like many other Americans deciding between purchasing my prescriptions over purchasing food to live.

I am pissed off; I am sick and tired of our legislators the Democrats and Republicans bullshitting when it comes to my life. The Dems and the Repubs want American people to believe they are working hard in our best interest to fix the healthcare crisis.

I do not give two rats asses which party comes up with a solution for the healthcare crisis here in America. The writing on the wall started when HMO’s came to America in the early 80’s. Healthcare has been changing and rising at the disadvantage to the American people since the HMO white horse rode into a town near you.

To fix the healthcare crisis here in America, it is time for Americans to demand the same coverage Congress receives. I plan to write my representatives demanding the opportunity to have the coverage they receive. It is time for all Americans to DEMAND IT!

I remember then candidate for President Obama saying during his campaign, "Americans deserve the same coverage offered to Congress." Therefore, if Congress is having a problem putting together legislation to offer us the same coverage they have because of the Democrat and Republican bipartisanship bullshit. The American people need to remind them whom they work for during their election year, and VOTE their asses out of office, and put some fresh blood in...which is what Americans should do to kick start fixing what is wrong in America!

Remember they are in Washington to be working for us and not for the Insurance and Pharmecutical industry poiitical donations and perks.

Health Care for U.S. Congress

What Is Worse Than A Winter Cold?

2009-06-13T06:38:00.003-05:00

ANSWER

A Summer Cold!

It has been years since I had a cold, I guess it is a cold. It could be allergies or sinusitis. Any who, whichever it is, its time to take it to the doctor. Over the counter meds are not doing squat.

I can’t breath out of one of nostrils, the other nostril is working at 75%, my throat is itching, my ears are ringing, coughing, one minute I am cold, the next I am hot, but most of all...

I CANNOT SLEEP. When I lay down, I have to get back up because what will not come out my nose is choking me.

Hubby think I should go see my doctor ASAP…of Dr. BlindersOff think she can wait until her physical appointment Tuesday.

My Condolences

2009-06-12T23:10:00.007-05:00

Words are not enough to comfort a mother when a child dies.

This MS candle burns for you Sherry. My prayers and thoughts are with you. May you find the strength to carry on.

Vitamin D Deficiency

2009-06-09T00:31:00.006-05:00

I finally had my Vitamin D level checked and to my surprise, I am severely deficient in Vitamin D. The reference range for Vitamin D in the body is 32 – 100. Hell, my range was a 9, I was damn near depleted of Vitamin D.

A cousin of mine who is in the health nutrition industry brought the importance of Vitamin D in our system and the importance of African Americans to have their level check to my attention about a year ago. The reason being African Americans do not absorb the sun natural resource of vitamin D. She also mentioned, a lot of the pain I experience could not only be from multiple sclerosis, but also from the lack of Vitamin D.

My MS rollercoaster has been taking me for a ride. It was time to find out if there was something to this Vitamin D after reading about it. I did not have nothing to lose if I had to take another pill and if taking pills for Vitamin would help my cause living life with MS. I was all for it.

When my results came in, my doctor immediately but me on 50,000 ui of vitamin D a week, I thought I was going to have to take a handful of pills to get that much vitamin D a week. Fortunately, our good ole pharmaceutical companies make a 50,000 capsule and I take one a week.

It has been four weeks now and I have to admit I feel a lot better. I am experiencing moderate instead of severe pain now. That severe anxiety I experienced that damn near drove me insane has disappeared. Cymbalta helps, but I notice a tremendous difference since I have been taking vitamin D.

Although it is wise for African Americans to get their Vitamin D checked, I would suggest everyone who have health problems to have their Vitamin D checked. The medical community is doing more research about the harm of having a vitamin D deficiency. Instead of trying to blog about the different ways a lack of vitamin D can effect your life…check it out in your spare time on the provided links below.

Vitamin D Deficiency

Vitamin D Deficiency Symptoms

Vitamin D and Mental Illness

Why Vitamin D May Be A Hidden Epidemic

Vitamin D May Prevent Multiple Sclerosis

Catching Up…Sorry About Being Away So Long

2009-05-04T00:44:00.013-05:00

Thank GOD School Is Out

April 27 was my last day of class...NO MORE Linear Equations, Scientific Notations, Powers, Polynomials, and their relatives.

Blame them for keeping me from blogging :)

I Hope This Is Not My Last Mid-South Chapter MS Walk

I was not going to walk this year because I was upset the walk was moved from Shelby Farms to H. W. Cox Park in Collierville. I had a change of heart and decided to participate two weeks before the April 4 walk in Collierville. I formed my team and set a goal to raise $500, I thought that was reasonable because of the economy. That goal was achieved less than a week so I raised it up to $1000.00. I am happy to say my team and I raised over a $1000.00 for the MS Mid-South Chapter.

Unfortunately, I am sad to say moving the walk to Collierville was not the same as having the walk in Shelby Farms. It was very noticeable that the attendance was not the same (I guess others felt how I felt in the beginning). The atmosphere at the Collierville walk uninviting and unfriendly. If the Mid-South Chapter decides to continue the MS Walk in Collierville, this year will be my last year participating, but I will continue to donate to the MS Society.

The Mid-South MS Walk always been at Shelby Farms before Collierville start having a walk on the same day about 2 or 3 years ago. The Chapter excuse having it at Collierville’s H.W. Cox Park was it did not cost them and it cost $3,000.00 to have it at Shelby Farms. That is poor excuse to take it away from a traditional site. Free is not always best…less teams signed up, less volunteers’ and less vendors participated. ..most importantly LESS MONEY WAS RAISED.

P.S.

You all know I did not hold back on the survey sent to me by the National MS Society.

NO THANKS DOC

I am no doctor, but in my opinion having morphine entering your body 24/7 is worst than popping a Lortab as needed. I am so use to having pain and I now have a very high pain tolerance, but that tolerance level is penetrated every day. Lortab is prescribed 1 tablet every 4 to 6 hours I take no more than 7 tablets a week. One tablet a day to keep the pain at a level I can tolerate.

I like my neurologist, but I disagree with her preferring to have me on morphine than having me take Lortab, as I need it for pain. She seems to believe Lortab is more addictive than morphine. Hmmm, am I missing something here, I wonder what is the hang up with my neurologist and Lortab.

I am the one who lives with the freaking pain and I should have a say in what I choose to put in my body. There is no freaking way I want to go back on morphine and go through the withdrawals I had when I decided I no longer want morphine entering my body. Hell, It was me having heart palpitations, severe constipation, and feeling as if I would stop breathing any minute while on morphine. Yes, I felt no pain, but I was paying a high cost not to feel...A DECISION HAD TO BE MADE! I prefer to feel than to stop breathing at any moment. The choice is mine and I will make that very clear at my next appointment or I will find another neurologist.

Finally...

My Baby Girl is moving back home. She is not moving back in the nest, she is moving to be near her Mom, Pops, and sisters for a couple of years before she head off to Harvard for her Masters and PHD. I am happy as a kid in a candy store!

Why I Walk:

2009-03-14T04:04:00.008-05:00

A Mother's Love

PAIN does not begin to describe the physical beatings MS delivers to my mother on a daily basis. PAIN does not begin to describe how MS mentally torments my mother on a daily basis. But HOPE, COMPASSION, L.O.V.E., DETERMINATION, DEDICATION, PERSISTENCE, COURAGE, STRENGTH, HUMILITY, FEARLESSNESS, AWARENESS, and MOTIVATION describe the characteristics she embodies that enable her to reject the condemnation that MS tries to inject in her spirit.

So many times she could have given in to the PAIN, and so many times she has DECIDED to fight - to not let this disease define her. That's the god in her. Her resilient spirit is relentless in its effort to combat the detrimental effects of MS, and she is winning. She is a WINNER. She loved me when I didn't love myself. She cared for me when I couldn't care for myself. She consoled me when I couldn't console myself. She felt my pain when it was too much for me to bear. She protected me when I couldn't protect myself. She is a part of me because she taught me how to be a woman. She taught me how to love. She taught me how to care. She taught me how to be courageous. She's teaching me how to live in victory. She has the victory. I need her. And, if she ever needs me, I'm here. Thank you Mother...for loving me in spite of me. I LOVE YOU.

My daughters and husband walk with me every year for the National MS Society Mid-South Chapter, but this is the first year my daughters did a personal page when they registered to walk...the above was written by my baby girl. I am blessed that my girls and husband give me my flowers while I am living..my heart is smiling.

Hit the Nail on the Head

2009-03-12T00:59:00.003-05:00

I do not usually take from another blog, but this is a must listen to interview…Taken from Autoegocrat at the Flypaper Theory.

Disabled Not Dead

2009-03-01T19:07:00.007-06:00

ANNE

When Someone Deeply Listens To You
it is like holding out a dented cup
you've had since childhood
and watching it fill up with
cold, fresh water.
When it balances on top of the brim,
you are understood.
When it overflows and touches your skin,
you are loved.
When someone deeply listens to you
the room where you stay
starts a new life
and the place where you wrote
your first poem
begins to glow in your mind's eye.
It is as if gold has been discovered!
When someone deeply listens to you
your barefeet are on the earth
and a beloved land that seemed distant
is now at home within you.

by — John Fox

You are in my prayers...Blinders Off

It Cannot Get Worse…So Why Not Look Into It

2009-02-16T20:42:00.004-06:00

“D”, I was reading this article on vitamin D (and others) and it keeps coming up that African-Americans can be deficient in this vitamin and can develop multiple sclerosis and other autoimmune diseases. You should have your blood level checked. Because our skin is dark, we re usually 100% deficient in this vitamin & and have an array of ailments as a result. I had mine checked and I am deficient and my doctor placed me on 6 drops daily. It has made a huge difference in the pain I was feeling in my bones.

The website is not just for African Americans it has some interesting information on it..Click to check it out.

When I see my neurologist for my scheduled February 27, appointment, I am requesting to have my blood drawn to check my vitamin D level. I have taken myself off a many harmful prescription medication to control symptoms of my MS. Could it be possible some of what I feel could be from vitamin deficiencies mainly vitamin D. I would prefer to take vitamins to control some of my ailments than harmful prescription medication.

It cannot get worse…so why not look into vitamin deficiencies.

Love is...

2009-02-13T14:44:00.007-06:00

I know this comes as a surprise, I actually hope it’s a pleasant and welcome one. I’ve been thinking about you and just wanted to say hello and to let you know that I still "Love My Friend"! I pray that all is fine in your world! I remember telling you that we are Friends to the end and nothing has changed here! Every relationship/friendship takes some hurdled and bumps but that's what makes us strong. I Love you! Happy Valentine's Day! Sandra, your Friend to the End!!!

My life long friend hurt me deeply months ago and I have not spoken to her since. I admit I missed her and I thought of her often, but I could not get what she said out of my head. For that reason, I refused to hang on to our friendship.

When I received her above email, I cried and picked up the phone and called her. The first words out of my mouth were, “I missed you too”. She start crying and when she composed herself she said, “I wondered if you were going to email me back and what it was going to say. I am happy you called, I love you and I missed you. I was depressed about my son and said things to you I did not mean.”

I explained to her, “Words are more hurtful than being physically hit, because words rewind in your head often and the hurt is felt over and over again. In order to move on, I forgiven you months ago, but I was happy to receive your email. I love you too.” We continued to talk as if nothing happened between us.

Valentine Day this year means more to me... because I have my friend back.

V-Day is not just about expressing love to a significant other, it is also a day to let everyone you love KNOW IT.
Your children, mother, father, sister, brother, friends, lover, etc.

It is Not Procrastination It’s MS Fatigue

2009-02-10T18:32:00.004-06:00

I feel tired all the time more so when I think of all I have to do such as housework, studying for class, preparing for meetings, etc. There are days I can stay in bed all day and not move unless I have to go to the bathroom. When I feel like that and do it, my mind does not let me rest because I am thinking about what I have on my plate to do.

I am one of those types of people that hate to be late or unprepared for anything. I would be in bed feeling guilty about not completing a task and possibly not being prepared for a meeting or test. At one time, I convinced myself that I was a procrastinator.

I complete my tasks and meet deadlines, therefore, I stopped feeling guilty when my body wants to rest. I stopped feeling guilty when I pace to do my housework and I cannot complete it all in one day. I stopped feeling guilty when I have days or weeks before a test or meeting to prepare, but wait close to the day of to start preparation. Pacing and resting when my body tells me is what matters and what is important.

It is not Procrastination It’s MS Fatigue...bite me!

Do You Believe In Prayers?

2009-02-07T18:04:00.009-06:00

Yes, I believe in prayers. I wanted the brother I knew when we were growing up, I prayed for my brother for more years than I care to count.

When I heard the joy in my mothers voice last week say, "M. was over and he looks real good. His face is clear and he has been going to church. He has three suits he wants me to take in for him." I felt her smiling as we talked on the phone, I knew then she believed he was clean and sober. She was apprehensive when I told her several months ago, he has not been using going on a year and he was getting his life together. After several times of not completing rehab, I understood her apprehension, but it was a happy moment to hear her believe in my brother again.

The day my brother was about to end his life, he called me. That day is etched in my brain for eternity. My husband and I was on a date night, we were driving to spend the night in Tunica, MS. A call interrupted the music coming from the radio, I did recognize the number and I could not understand the caller in the beginning. The caller was crying hysterical, after about of minute of trying to understand what the caller was saying, my heart stopped. I recognized the voice; it was my brother “M”.

My thoughts were racing, was he was hurt, why is he calling me I live in another state. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard him say, “I am sick of living worst than a dog, Shelly lives better than me (Shelly is my dog), I am going to kill myself”. I knew with every fiber in my body he meant what he just said. I stopped the call from coming over the radio and held the phone to my ear and said, “You don’t have to live like you are living…you can change your life “M”, I will help you, we all will help you”.

After I said that, I let him get it all out. I did not judge him; I just listened to his pain. Once he stopped talking, I repeated what I said earlier and I told him, "I would start the ball rolling from my end to help him get his life together." I was relieved because I felt in my heart he believed me, he was calmer when we ended our call. I called my older sister and told her about what just happened. I advice her on what I was going to do, but she would have to take over because I do not live in that state anymore. She agreed to handle everything once I found a program for my brother.

To make a long story short, I immediately found a program that could help my brother in the state he lives in and a place to live, my sister made sure he kept all appointments by driving him there herself. No one believed my brother was going to change his life, but no one heard the desperation in his voice when he called me the night he wanted to end it all.

When we pray we cannot expect miracles to happen right away. I had been praying for my brother to stop using drugs for over twenty years. My prayers were answered the day my brother called me for help. He has been clean and sober for nine months and I pray everyday he stays that way.

PS

My brother will be 48 years old next week and been on drugs for many years. No matter what one may think reading this post. I am proud of fact my brother did not bring a child in this world and committed crimes to support his habit. The only person he hurt in the years he been doing drugs is himself. That says a lot about him as a person.

Living With MS....MY WAY

2009-02-07T16:28:00.006-06:00

I thought I was going to get myself together when I wrote “MS you can’t keep a good person down” and “Honey you are a Junkie” in June 2007. All I did was trade in the numerous prescription I was taking daily and as needed for a more dangerous and potent drug. My reflection was the best thing to happen to me in 2008.

I still live with pain, tingling, numbness, fatigue, nausea, dizziness, and insomnia. Hell, living with MS I never knew which ailment was going to afflict me, or when it was going to happen. I still do not know today because MS is a predator that I cannot control, but I can control how I allow it to affect my life.
Too many times, I allowed MS to put me in a depress state, for too long I taken drugs regularly to keep symptoms away. Allowing MS to dictate my mood and what I put in my body is what will cause my DEATH. The aforementioned is my reality of living with MS.

I realized if I could live through withdraw symptoms of Fentanyl, I can live with pain, tingling, numbness, fatigue, nausea, dizziness, and insomnia without popping a pill or capsule everyday to keep the symptoms away. I am no idiot; I will take medication, as I need it. I am proud of myself because I have been strong enough not reach for a pill or capsule when MS take me for a ride with one or more of my symptoms. I am proud of the fact I need to have new prescriptions written for the MS symptoms that plagues me when I go see me Neurologist February 17…yes, it has been that long since I taken what I call my as needed drugs.

I have come a long way, the only drugs, I take on a daily basis are my Copaxone injection and Cymbalta. I would not be taking Cymbalta if I had a severe case of anxiety recently. My anxiety is better and I contribute that to Cymbalta, therefore, I will continue taking my Cymbalta on a daily basis. I never want to experience the type of anxiety I just overcame in my life.

Living with MS my way may not work for others, but damn sure works for me.

My Pick

2009-01-24T20:07:00.006-06:00

Click to view my pick for BEST PERFORMANCE during our historical inauguration weekend.

Click to read my baby girl experience witnessing history.

To Achieve Your Dreams

2009-01-24T13:59:00.003-06:00

REMEMBER YOUR

Avoid negative sources, people, places, things, and habits.

Believe in yourself.

Consider things from every angle.

Don't give up and don't give in.

Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.

Give more than you planned to.

Hang on to your dreams.

Ignore those who try to discourage you.

Keep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier.

Love yourself first and most.

Make it happen.

Never lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.

Open your eyes and see things as they really are.

Practice makes perfect.

Quitters never win and winners never quit.

Read, study and learn about everything important in your life.

Stop procastinating.

Take control of your own destiny.

Understand yourself in order to better understand others.

Visualize it.

Want it more than anything.

Xcellerate your efforts.

You are uniqwue of all God's creations, nothing can replace YOU.

Zero in on your target and go for it!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The above is a poster I bought at a store when my girls were in elementary school 17 years ago. Instead of framing it in a poster frame, I took it to a frame shop and had it professionally framed.

I wanted my daughters to know what it took to achieve their dreams and today they are living their dreams because of the words on that poster. I personally benefitted from reading the words on that poster because I thought my dreams were over when I heard, “You have multiple sclerosis”.

I was one of those people who defined themselves from their profession and salary. I now know the depression I went through behind having to quit my job because of multiple sclerosis was a massive waste of time out of my life.

It is true when one door close another one open. Multiple Sclerosis changed a lot of things for me, but living with multiple sclerosis has open a door for me to help others in a way I would not be able to do if I was working in the profession that once defined me.

I Achieve My Dreams and Remembering the ABC’s helped me along the way

MS + Copaxone = ANXIETY

2009-01-06T21:27:00.006-06:00

I started experiencing attacks of anxiety before I went on a hiatus from blogging. In the beginning, I thought maybe, I was doing too much…blogging, school, accepting board appointments, and helping in the Mayor's campaign among my personal daily duties. By the way, my candidate WON :)

I awaken one morning from a night sleep and I immediately felt panicky and fearful. The feeling last a few minutes, but I was complex to why I was feeling that way. As I continued with my day, I noticed I was feeling panicky and fearful through out my day. I did not associate what I was feeling to ANXIETY, I just knew something was not right to feel something terrible was about to happen and it was out of character for me. I brushed it off as residual effects from wearing a morphine patch for a year and suddenly stopping a few months earlier.

Waking up feeling fear and panic went on for weeks and it intensified to the point, I knew I had to get to the bottom as to WHY. I did not like what it was doing to me, it was starting to affect my life to the point I was afraid of being home alone, driving, and leaving my home. I was at the point of despair hiding this creature ANXIETY that invaded my thoughts and body.

Many times, I thought I was going to lose control of taming the creature within when I was out in public, therefore, I cancelled appointments, stopped blogging, and if I were not taking online courses, I would have quit school. Realistically, I knew nothing was going to happen, but this creature was paralyzing me. I start realizing keeping quiet was giving the creature within power.

I began taking that power back when I told my husband what I was going through. Of course, his response was to make an appointment with my therapist. I agreed, but the creature had me paralyzed to the point I could not drive without feeling as if I was having a heart attack. I was ready to have myself committed to get control of the creature within. I called my therapist and told him how I was afraid to leave my house and drive because I physically felt as if I was going to die. I asked him, “If I checked myself in the hospital could he see me then because I cannot keep going like this”. Unfortunately I could not check my self in for severe Anxiety because I was not suicidal or a harm to others, which is fortunate.

My next course of action to fight the creature was a visit to my primary care doctor and neurologist. It is no secret there is a drug for all ailments that invade our body. Once again, I was semi scolded by my primary care doctor and neurologist for waiting weeks to let them know Anxiety was kicking my ass. My primary care doctor asked me, “Is anxiety a side effect of Copaxone.” I responded, “I don’t recall anxiety being a side effect of Copaxone, but I will look into it.” My neurologist confirmed anxiety is a side effect of Copaxone and anxiety is associated living with multiple sclerosis. I was prescribed Cymbalta 60mg to control my anxiety creature. Cymbalta was good for my neurological pain because I use to take it, but I did not know it was also to control anxiety. It took three weeks for Cymbalta to get in my system, tame the creature, and start gaining control of my life again. As of today, I have been taking Cymbalta for two months and I plan to continue taking it until a side effect rear its head from taking it.

So many different side effects come with taking medication. It is not as if I did not know, but I have to remember that a side effect from a drug can happen at any time while I am taking it. I promised myself, when I am out of character; I will not wait until it become critical before I notify my primary care doctor or neurologist. Do not be a hard head like me, when you feel out of character get in touch with your doctor.

Slowing Working My Way Back

2008-12-31T12:56:00.005-06:00

OH, BY THE WAY I WISH EVERYONE A...

I Have Not Forgotten You All

2008-11-07T20:38:00.003-06:00

I will be back to regular blogging in December, but I will try to post now and then and visit when my load lightens up. As most of you all know, I am taking classes and that is what is taking up most of my time. I also committed myself to a few projects that are time consuming. My time is stretch thin, I had to let something go, and that something is blogging.

In away it is a good thing because withdrawing from being a blogging junkie was almost as bad when I went through withdrawing from taking morphine for my MS pain :)

YES WE CAN

2008-11-04T22:43:00.003-06:00

I am THANKFUL to ALL AMERICANS who voted for Barack Obama on the content of his character and not the color of his skin.

Feel Good Sunday

2008-10-25T20:30:00.005-05:00

LET GO!

Tell This

2008-10-25T20:24:00.004-05:00

Oct 05, 2008

The Norwegian newspaper VG has reported a truly amazing story about a newly-wed trying to get to Norway to be with her husband, and the stranger who helped pay an unexpected luggage surcharge. The blog 'Leisha's Random Thoughts' has translated the story.

It was 1988, and Mary Andersen was at the Miami airport checking in for a long flight to Norway to be with her husband when the airline representative informed her that she wouldn't be able to check her luggage without paying a 100 surcharge:

When it was finally Mary's turn, she got the message that would crush her bubbling feeling of happiness.

-You'll have to pay a 103 dollar surcharge if you want to bring both those suitcases to Norway, the man behind the counter said.

Mary had no money. Her new husband had travelled ahead of her to Norway, and she had no one else to call.

-I was completely desperate and tried to think which of my things I could manage without. But I had already made such a careful selection of my most prized possessions, says Mary.

As tears streamed down her face, she heard a 'gentle and friendly voice' behind her saying, 'That's okay, I'll pay for her.'
Mary turned around to see a tall man whom she had never seen before.

-He had a gentle and kind voice that was still firm and decisive. The first thing I thought was, Who is this man?

Although this happened 20 years ago, Mary still remembers the authority that radiated from the man.

-He was nicely dressed, fashionably dressed with brown leather shoes, a cotton shirt open at the throat and khaki pants, says Mary.

She was thrilled to be able to bring both her suitcases to Norway and assured the stranger that he would get his money back. The man wrote his name and address on a piece of paper that he gave to Mary. She thanked him repeatedly. When she finally walked off towards the security checkpoint, he waved goodbye to her.

Who was the man?

Barack Obama.

Twenty years later, she is thrilled that the friendly stranger at the airport may be the next President and has voted for him already and donated 100 dollars to his campaign:

-He was my knight in shining armor, says Mary, smiling.

She paid the 103 dollars back to Obama the day after she arrived in Norway. At that time he had just finished his job as a poorly paid community worker* in Chicago, and had started his law studies at prestigious Harvard university.

Mary even convinced her parents to vote for him:

In the spring of 2006 Mary's parents had heard that Obama was considering a run for president, but that he had still not decided. They chose to write a letter in which they told him that he would receive their votes. At the same time, they thanked Obama for helping their daughter 18 years earlier.

And Obama replied:

In a letter to Mary's parents dated May 4th, 2006 and stamped 'United States Senate, Washington DC', Barack Obama writes:

'I want to thank you for the lovely things you wrote about me and for reminding me of what happened at Miami airport. I'm happy I could help back then, and I'm delighted to hear that your daughter is happy in Norway. Please send her my best wishes. Sincerely, Barack Obama, United States Senator'.

The parents sent the letter on to Mary.

Mary says that when her friends and associates talk about the election, especially when race relations is the heated subject, she relates the story of the k ind man who helped out a stranger-in-need over twenty years ago, years before he had even thought about running for high office.

Truly a wonderful story, and something that needs to be passed along in the maelstorm of fear-and-smear politics we are being subjected to right now.

Remember this was 1988, when 100 dollars was quite a bit of money, compared to today's value.

By the way, this would be the perfect antidote to the Smear E-mails going around. If anyone has a good long email chain list, shoot it out, and let it be passed along.

You Shouln't Have...Nah I Take That Back..Thanks For Selecting Me

2008-10-22T21:28:00.008-05:00

Thanks Lisa at Brass and Ivory for giving me a Gratitude with Attitude award, it means a lot coming from you.

Some time ago, Jim kindly presented me with the "Gratitude with Attitude Award."
It is time to pass it on to some fabulous blogging friends, old and new.

Here are the rules:

* Put the logo on your blog or post.
* Nominate at least 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!
* Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
* Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

* Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

I am to pass this award on and there are a few MS blogs that already received this award. Too bad, I am sending it to you anyway because I truly enjoy your site. I appreciate those of you who read my site, but if live with MS you must visit Lisa, Diane, or Linda they are inspirational, informative, and comical discussing living with MS. Their sites were a Godsend when I first was diagnosis with MS and I found my way to their blogs. They are true champions for the new and old MS'ers out here in the blogosphere.

Brain Cheese...Linda

A Stellar Life...Diane

Merely Me’s Multiple Synchronicities (and sclerosis)

Disable Not Dead...Anne

White Lightening Axiom Redux
Delving Under the Covers...Charlene

Living! With Ms...Denver

Tias Mind...Tia lives with MS, but focus on life

Deeper and Deeper My Poetry Blog...Don writes beautiful poetry

Field Negro...aka Field a Philly lawyer that keeps it real and the people that comments are some of the best, but I must warn you there are occasional knuckle heads.

Please go check out his post “Searching for a Black Friend in the Age of Obama”.

Field could not have said it better when he said,

“Here is the thing Devin: Us black folks are like any other group. We are not monolithic, and we have very diverse opinions, taste, ideologies, and yes; even ways to have fun. So there is no such thing as a black board of directors to give black people their cues on how to act and what not to like and like. I know I joke about shit like that all the time, but believe me, it's really not the case.

And please forget this insane pursuit to find a black friend. Just relax, be yourself, and eventually some black person might just find you and like you for who you are. If not, it's not a big deal. Trust me. There are plenty black folks without white friends. It's not the end of the world. We can all live in this amicable state of self segregation, as long as we show mutual respect for each other and afford each other the dignity that we each deserve as human beings.”

Wow It's Been 26 Years

2008-10-19T11:30:00.004-05:00

One beautiful daughter

One beautiful day

Another reason to be so proud of the person you are, to be thankful for all the happiness your bring to our lives.

Another chance to say how much you mean, how much you'll always be loved.

Feel Good Sunday

2008-10-19T11:27:00.002-05:00

Stand By Me

MONEY Grab

2008-10-19T11:21:00.009-05:00

I always wished I could have an opportunity to grab a fist full of money.

I finally received one of my life wishes. I paid five dollars to enter a money grab booth Saturday; it was what I thought it would be EXHILARATING.

I grabbed a fistful of money that I could have kept...

because the event was giving all the money raised to a worthwhile non-profit in my community I donated my winnings.

I HAD A GOOOOOD TIME IN THAT BOOTH!

COMMENDABLE

2008-10-16T13:28:00.008-05:00

Although it is tough for a Democrat Preidential candidate to win in Missouri, this article is worth sharing from my hometown (St. Louis) newspaper.

The Post-Dispatch Endorses Barack Obama for President

Sunday, Oct. 12 2008

In January, nine days before the Feb. 5 presidential primaries in Missouri and
Illinois, this editorial page endorsed Barack Obama and John McCain in their
respective races.

We did so enthusiastically. We wrote that either Mr. Obama's message of hope or
Mr. McCain's independence and integrity offered America 'the chance to turn the
page on 28 years of contentious, greed-driven politics and move into a new era
of possibility.'

Over the past nine months, Mr. Obama, the junior senator from Illinois, has
emerged as the only truly transformative candidate in the race. In the crucible
that is a presidential campaign, his intellect, his temperament and equanimity
under pressure consistently have been impressive. He has surrounded himself
with smart, capable advisers who have helped him refine thorough, nuanced
policy positions.

In a word, Mr. Obama has been presidential.

Meanwhile, Mr. McCain, the senior senator from Arizona, became the incredible
shrinking man. He shrank from his principled stands in favor of a humane
immigration policy. He shrank from his universal condemnation of torture and
his condemnation of the politics of smear.

He even shrank from his own campaign slogan, 'Country First,' by selecting the
least qualified running mate since the Swedenborgian shipbuilder Arthur Sewall
ran as William Jennings Bryan's No. 2 in 1896.

In making political endorsements, this editorial page is guided first by the
principles espoused by Joseph Pulitzer in The Post-Dispatch Platform printed
daily at the top of this page. Then we consider questions of character, life
experience and intellect, as well as specific policy and issue positions. Each
member of the editorial board weighs in.

On all counts, the consensus was clear: Barack Obama of Illinois should be the
next president of the United States.

We didn't know nine months ago that before Election Day, America would face its
greatest economic challenge since the Great Depression. The crisis on Wall
Street is devastating, but it has offered voters a useful preview of how the
two presidential candidates would respond to a crisis.

Very early on, Mr. Obama reached out to his impressive corps of economic
advisers and developed a comprehensive set of recommendations for addressing
the problems. He set them forth calmly and explained them carefully.

Mr. McCain, a longtime critic of government regulation, was late to recognize
the threat. The chief economic adviser of his campaign initially was former
Sen. Phil Gramm, R-Texas, who had been one of the architects of banking
deregulation. When the credit markets imploded, Mr. McCain lurched from one
ineffectual grandstand play to another. He squandered the one clear advantage
he had over Mr. Obama: experience.

Mr. McCain first was elected to Congress in 1982 when Mr. Obama was in his
senior year at Columbia University. Yet the younger man's intellectual
curiosity and capacity — and, yes, also the skills he developed as a community
organizer and his instincts as a political conciliator — more than compensate
for his lack of more traditional Washington experience.

A presidency is defined less by what happens in the Oval Office than by what is
done by the more than 3,000 men and women the president appoints to government
office. Only 600 of them are subject to Senate approval. The rest serve at the
pleasure of the president.

We have little doubt that Mr. Obama's appointees would bring a level of
competence, compassion and intellectual achievement to the executive branch
that hasn't been seen since the New Frontier. He has energized a new generation
of Americans who would put the concept of service back in 'public service.'

Consider that while Mr. McCain selected as his running mate Gov. Sarah Palin of
Alaska, a callow and shrill partisan, Mr. Obama selected Sen. Joe Biden of
Delaware. Mr. Biden's 35-year Senate career has given him encyclopedic
expertise on legislative and judicial issues, as well as foreign affairs.

The idea that 3,000 bright, dedicated and accomplished Americans would be
joining the Obama administration to serve the public — as opposed to padding
their resumés or shilling for the corporate interests they're sworn to oversee
— is reassuring. That they would be serving a president who actually would
listen to them is staggering.

And the fact that Mr. Obama can explain his thoughts and policies in language
that can instruct and inspire is exciting. Eloquence isn't everything in a
president, but it is not nothing, either.

Experience aside, the 25-year difference in the ages of Mr. McCain, 72, and Mr.
Obama, 47, is important largely because Mr. Obama's election would represent a
generational shift. He would be the first chief executive in more than six
decades whose worldview was not formed, at least in part, by the Cold War or
Vietnam.

He sees the complicated world as it is today, not as a binary division between
us and them, but as a kaleidoscope of shifting alliances and interests. As he
often notes, he is the son of a Kenyan father and a mother from Kansas, an
internationalist who yet acknowledges that America is the only nation in the
world in which someone of his distinctly modest background could rise as far as
his talent, intellect and hard work would take him.

Given the damage that has been done to America's moral standing in the world in
the last eight years — by a preemptory war, a unilateralist foreign policy and
by policies that have treated both the Geneva Conventions and our own Bill of
Rights as optional — Mr. Obama's election would help America reclaim the moral
high ground.

It also must be said that Mr. Obama is right on the issues. He was right on the
war in Iraq. He is right that all Americans deserve access to health care and
right in his pragmatic approach to meeting that goal. He is right on tax
policy, infrastructure investment, energy policy and environmental issues. He
is right on American ideals.

He was right when he said in his remarkable speech in March in Philadelphia
that 'In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less,
than what all the world's great religions demand: that we do unto others as we
would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us.
Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one
another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.'

John McCain has served his country well, but in the end, he may have wanted the
presidency a little too much, so much that he has sacrificed some of the
principles that made him a heroic figure in war and in peace. In every way
possible, he has earned the right to retire.

Finally, only at this late point do we note that Barack Obama is an
African-American. Because of who he is and how he has run his campaign, that
fact has become almost incidental to most Americans. Instead, his countrymen are weighing his talents, his values and his beliefs, judging him not by the color of his skin, but the content of his character.

That says something profound and good — about him as a candidate and about us as a nation.

**UPDATE**
I wish I was there, my hometown came out in record numbers to hear Barack Obama speak in St. Louis October 18, 2008

Who Are The Real Domestic Terrorists?

2008-10-14T22:49:00.006-05:00

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Hard to believe the McCain/Palin HATE mob actually believes in GOD. I use to have respect for John McCain, he should have never allowed his campaign staff guide him in that direction and have Sarah Palin tap and stir up this unsettling HATE. There is something seriously wrong with John McCain picking a VP candidate who once belonged to the Alaska Independence Party and whose husband still belongs to that group.

Quote: She was an AIP member before she got elected a Mayor of a small town, but to get along to go along she HAD to join the Republican Party… *the above quote is at the two-minute mark on the video

1. DO YOU REALLY KNOW SARAH PALIN?

or ask this question

2. DO YOU KNOW THE REAL SARAH PALIN?

Senator McCain you were too late to stop this can of HATE your campaign opened up... *make sure you check out the end of the video.

You Are Invited

2008-10-14T17:52:00.010-05:00

We had him as our guest last year for a book signing and reading from
The Legend of Quito Road, in keeping our promise...Circle of Friends Book Club is having Dwight Fryer as their guest for a book signing and reading from The Knees of Gullah Island, a prequel to The Legend of Quito Road.

Thursday, October 16, 2008
6:30pm
Neighborhood Bristo
6646 Hwy 51 North

Come have dinner, enjoy the story telling of The Knees of Gullah Island…and leave with a creamy grits and shrimp recipe...a dish that is mentioned often in the book.

Feel Good Sunday

2008-10-12T02:40:00.006-05:00

Breakthrough
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Change Begins At The Local Level

2008-10-11T15:31:00.005-05:00

Since I have been living here, I became tired of hearing the locals say, "That's the way it is here." My reply was, "That is NOT the way it has to be, change begins when you come to the Mayor and Board of Aldermen meetings and the other commission meetings. By not coming to the meetings, that is how officials get away with passing legislation not in the peoples best interest. However, you can stop what is not in the community best interest before the third and final reading."

Four years ago, two men ran for the Mayor seat after the incumbent decided to retire after being Mayor for thirty years. I had nothing against either man, but I did have reservations about the one candidate that was born and lived here all his life. Without a doubt, he was a good ole boy and the favorite to win. I took a closer look at the hometown favorite challenger and liked his campaign message, I particular like three of the statements he had on his brochure:

Quote: “I have not forgotten and will not forget my duty is to the people of our community, the people that pay the money, the taxpayers, YOU!”

Quote: “I will maintain an open door policy for every employee and citizen of Millington. I will remove any doubt that there is preferential treatment and ensure that everyone has equal consideration. I am committed to uniting the citizens of Millington and forming the best possible team that will ensure positive growth now and provide a bright and stable future for the City of Millington.”

Quote: “I am not in this for personal gain, I do not have any conflicts of interest and I can make all decisions fairly, because I am not obligated to any special interest. I will work full-time for the people of Millington and give them 110% or more if that is what is required to make Millington the best it can be! I stand on my reputation, my integrity, my experience and most importantly, on my commitment to the people of Millington.”

I knew the election four years ago was the opportunity for CHANGE how politics always been here. Therefore, I decided to get involved to help the outsider because I am considered an outsider (that is what we called ourselves here, if you were not born and lived here all your life.) A military base and military people who retired here support this small quaint town, it was time they embraced the ideas and talents of outsiders who consider this town HOME.

Therefore, many others and I who believed in the outsider campaign literature worked hard to get him elected. Yes, people were upset when the outsider won, but I was ecstatic about our victory. I do not know what others expected of him when he won, but all I wanted was for him to honor three of his campaign promises.

At his victory celebration four years ago and after witnessing all the @ss kissing people were doing who did nothing to help him win. I pulled our newly elected Mayor to the side and said the following, "All I want you to do is do what you promised in your campaign brochures, because if you do not, as hard as we worked to help you win tonight, we will work twice as hard to help you out of office."

I know those were some strong words, but I meant every word. I am one American citizen who is sick and tired of politicians who seek office and do not keep their promise to the people. We the people are the ones who put them in office and once they are in office, they forget that and cater to special interest, businesses and developers. That is exactly what our new Mayor did four years ago; it was less than a month into his term that he began working against the people.

We had to endure the Mayor's BS for four years; he had no problem taking advice when he was seeking office. However, he had a problem correcting or enforcing ordinances and disciplining certain police officers that were wrong towards the people, even when he was presented with evidence and facts.

The strong words I said to him four years ago came back to haunt him. He sold the people out and the people spoke on September 30, 2008 and kicked him out of office. He was the favorite to win because special interest, business people, and developers who were his strongest supporters, but he forgot the majority of them could not vote in the city.

I reminded the people we are the ones who put the Mayor in office and if we have to seat, a new Mayor every four years that is what we will do. Politicians need reminding they work for us not businesses, special interests, and developers. Maybe if more people watch what our Congressmen or women and Senators were doing in Washington, America would not be in the position she is in now.

We the people need to understand accountability begins at the local level. I hope that enough people are upset with what is happening on the federal level and will start holding their Congressmen or women and Senator accountable and vote them out when they seek office again if they are not for the people.

Understanding Politics

2008-10-11T15:24:00.002-05:00

Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.

Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.

He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'

The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.

Author Unknown

Opened My Doors To Help...They Ended Up Helping Me

2008-10-10T18:06:00.011-05:00

Shelly enjoyed all the extra LOVE and they wanted to take her back, but she was not having that...she immediately jumped out the trailer after the picture was taken.

My household went from two adults and a dog to a household of ten people and a dog (Shelly). My brother and sister in law with their 22-year-old adult son and three teenagers ages 17, 16, and 15, an adult niece and her ten-year-old son rounded out the evacuees living in my house for what I thought would be three to five days, but turned out to be eleven days.

Many of my friends and other family members thought I would be pulling my hair out having so many people in my house. I have to admit I wondered if I could handle it after they all arrived. Truth is I enjoyed every one of the eleven days my evacuees were here. Having them here and making sure they were comfortable did more for me than they know.

What my family, friends, associates, and blogging community did not know was for over a year, I have been silently suffering from anxiety and panic attacks every morning when I wake up to an empty house. I fight the attacks all day off and on and do not completely relax until my husband arrive home from work. Everyday I was tempted to call my husband, daughter, friend, or anyone when I was battling the anxiety and panic building in my body. The attacks started after the third time I had a serious medical problem and I was home alone with Shelly.

I allowed fear to engulf me when I am alone at home or driving it altered how I go about my day. I once tried taking medication and I prayed often-begging God to take away that dreadful feeling. The attacks are not as severe from when they first started, but they are scary nonetheless. After receiving the phone call from my family asking to come here to escape Hurricane Ike, I immediately dismissed my fear of having the attacks. I prayed asking God to help me keep it in control because the last thing my family needed was to worry about me, when they could possibly lose everything when Ike hit their city.

I am happy to say the entire time my evacuees (which is what I fondly call them) were here, they never seen me have an anxiety or panic attack. To ease the anxiety they were feeling wondering about the damage Hurricane Ike was doing. I made it a point to have their stay with me and mine feel like a vacation.

They had the opportunity to see what could be the last time Goat Day’s would be an event in my city.

They had the opportunity to enjoy the last Mid South Fair held in Memphis.

They went to the movies, park, and mall.

They went to Tunica

They went to Beale Street

As they were packing up to leave, it felt good knowing I accomplished what I set out to do when they said, "We felt like we were on vaction instead of evacuees. The people we been talking to who are stuck in hotels, shelters or stayed at home are jealous. Our house is the bed and breakfast, ES house is the home away from home, your house is the evacuee house."

I replied, "No, my house was your home away from home, but I will accept the title house for the evacuees. Adding, if I were you all I would not talk too much about the good time here because other family member will try to beat you here if there is another evacuation, but you all have first call since we survived eleven days together under one roof. It has been years since I had teenager in the house and I enjoyed every minute of it. Had your children been bad @ss kids…I would have shown you all the door on day one."

When they pulled off and I returned to the house I had a beautiful gift, card, and a check thanking me for the hospitality.

What they do not realize is by coming here to escape Ike they helped me..my anxiety and panic attacks are few and far between since they left and for that reason, I am grateful that Hurricane Ike sent them here to seek refuge. Their homes did not suffer major damage and they are back to their daily routine.

Regardless, at the end of the day…there is no place like home and having your house back :)

I Am BACK :)

2008-10-10T00:13:00.003-05:00

First, let me say I am okay, problems with multiple sclerosis is not what kept me away for a month. I thank those of you who commented on my last post and all of you who emailed checking on me. I just finished mid-terms yesterday and now I can get back to blogging. My life has been a whirlwind since Hurricane Ike and I am just now getting a break...stay tune I will catch you all up by the end of the weekend.

I will be stopping by soon to visit...

Fleeing From Hurricane Ike

2008-09-11T22:29:00.006-05:00

(10 Sept. 2008) --- This picture of Hurricane Ike from earlier today was downlinked by the crew of the International Space Station, flying 220 statute miles above Earth. The center of the hurricane was near 23.8 degrees north latitude and 85.3 degrees west longitude, moving 300 degrees at 7 nautical miles per hour. The sustained winds were 80 nautical miles per hour with gusts to 100 nautical miles per hour and forecast to intensify. Photo Credit: NASA

I have been waiting on family to arrive from Beaumont Texas since 8:00a.m., It is now 10:30pm and they yet to arrive. The drive normally takes nine hours; I could not live in the path hurricanes travels. I wonder how people with chronic illnesses handle the stress of mandatory evacuations. It was less than 2-weeks ago they had to flee Hurricane Gustav. Hell, I wonder how people who are healthy handle the stress. I plan to ask my sister-in-law, nieces, and nephews while they are here this weekend.

When Hurricane Katrina and Rita hit the coast, my husband and I prepared for relatives or friends seeking refuge. Instead, family members got out of harms way by going to Shreveport. We could not blame them for not wanting to travel all the way to Tennessee when they were able to be out of harms way closer to home. That is why I was surprise when my husband called me early this morning telling me that some family members where coming here to escape Ike's path.

The past few days I was in my own world, listening to good jazz and meditating while I was readjusting my body being on morphine again. I had no idea Ike changed course, grew in size and strength. The last I heard Ike was heading towards Florida and was weakening. My brother-in-law called to see if his family made it here and I ask him why they where seeking refuge in Tennessee this time. He told me Ike was about 100 miles wide and his strength was increasing. He wanted to make sure his family was safe and told them to drive to Tennessee.

Damn you IKE! I was not ready to leave my serene world. More importantly, I hope IKE does not leave a massive path of destruction.

Letting Go Of A Lifelong Friendship

2008-09-07T13:24:00.007-05:00

The woman in the front of me taught me a valuable lesson about female friendship in the workplace. I befriended her when I started my first job out of high school at General American Life Insurance. She was married with children and I was single with no children. Turns out she was jealous of me and talked badly about me behind my back, but always wanted to be around me. She taught me not to be trusting of females in the work place. I thought once I left elementary, middle, and high school women got over their jealous spiteful ways. Unfortunately, if they are like that in elementary, middle, and high school they are like that the remainder of their life until they grow up and mature into REAL women. The woman behind me is S.C. the only woman outside my older sister; I let into my inner space and shared my fears, hurts, pain, disappointments, joy, dreams, and plans for my life. That is why this is the most painful post to date.

There comes a time in life when you know in your heart that it is time to let go of someone you believed for many years was a friend. I was hurt very deeply, this week by the words of a person I thought was my oldest and dearest friend/sister for over thirty years. I literally cried while I read what she said. I could have retaliated with some vicious words that would have broken her down like a two-dollar bill. Out of respect and love, I kept it short, sweet and simple.

I always consider my oldest sister my best friend. When we were younger, we had our sisterly fights, mostly because I did not want her to tell me what to do. Yet, I always wanted a best girlfriend that was my own age. I thought I had that in S.C., I noticed our friendship was changing when her son got in trouble with the law. She became very depressed and she did what most women do when their son get in trouble the first time with the law, she went out of her way to get him out of trouble by borrowing $10,000 for legal fees.

I met S.C. when my family moved from South St. Louis to North St. Louis in the 60’s. I never ran with many girls because I was a tomboy with girlish charm. I did not become friends with S.C. until we started high school; she got tired of running with the crowd she ran with in elementary and middle school. I on the other hand was not a follower, I was my own person because I learned early in life that females were jealous hearted and catty and I did not play those games. I was a straight shooter, what you see is what you get and I had no time for the bullshit.

S.C. was my matron of honor in my first wedding; my daughters grew up with her son. We did everything together. She never married or kept a man very long because she was picky and to this day she is still picky. If a man, tooth looks wrong or his shoes are not right she had a problem with him. I use to tell her she was too damn meticulous. I watch her run off some good men over the years. We shared the good and the bad in our lives, but I never in a million years would have thought she was resentful of me. The following of what she said is what hurt me the most:

Our communication since K.C. has been in prison has changed, I'll be the first to admit it. It's because your conversation has always been about how well your daughters are doing and don't get me wrong I'm very happy for them. I can't brag about my child and frankly I got tried of listening to it. I'm sure it bother me only because of the heartbreak K.C. has delivered to me, we all expect great things from our children and believe me it's no reflection on "T" or "N", I just wanted as much for K.C.. You made one statement and I quote "I raised them well, so if I die tomorrow I know I did a wonderful job"! Well, I believe (K. and I) did a damn good job as well, but our children chose their own path and it's not because we didn't raise them just as well. I do understand being a proud parent, and believe me I want to share in the same conversations, but I couldn't so I was always left speechless. What I'm doing is what's giving me the only excitement besides my grandson, and I shared these things with you because not only are you my friend, but you have daughters that will someday walk down that path of marriage.

This was my response to her hurtful words:

S.C. it is not worth it anymore, your response displays your resentment. I have been nothing but supportive and encouraging in everything you do and have thought to do. If you think my email was tacky than so be it. I am not going to argue with you. I have never said you or "K" were bad MOTHERS, I have always said that you two were DAMN good mothers. Most importantly, I have said the choices your son and K.'s sons made was not a reflection on how you two are as mothers.

I do not need the stress of trying to repair something that was obviously never real. I wish you nothing but the best S.C. Goodbye

It hurt to realize that S.C. was resentful of my daughters’ success over the years, and to take my comment, "I raised them well, so if I die tomorrow I know I did a wonderful job"! out of context and personally take it as an attack on her as a mother. All it meant was I can die happy knowing my daughters will be able to take care of themselves. I became sick when my daughters were very young. That was my worst fear dying while they were still minors. I made preparations in case that happened. For S.C. to take that and twist it the way she did was wrong. She was out of line to bring my younger sister in it and speak for her.

I gave her and her son unconditional love, support and encouragement. She obviously forgot it was the letter I wrote on behalf of her son when he got in trouble again was what reduced the time the judge planned on giving him. She called and personally told me what the judge said, “I had already filled the paper work out to give K.C. the maximum amount of time, until I read the character letter I received from Mrs. D. S. Because of what she said about K.C. and his mother I was moved to reduce his time to seven years.”

I concluded that S.C. is carrying a lot of baggage, jealousy and resentment. I cannot do anything about what is in her heart and soul, she has to fix that and come to terms with it. It saddens me deeply that I can no longer consider her a dear friend/sister. I do not believe in holding on to something when it has revealed itself a LIE. My mom and older sister hope we can work it out one day, but I told them, “Her words cut as if she stabbed me with a knife and she has issues that she has to work out. I do not need the stress of repairing something I did not break.

I am okay with my decision especially after listening to T.D. Jakes this morning talking about baggage. Moreover, Rev. M. Elaine Flake put the final validation on my decision to let go of my thirty-year friendship. When she preach the following:

Envy and Jealousy are Sins Roman’s 1:29 and Gal 5:21 tell us that envy and jealousy are vial sins. Envy is defined as painful and resentful awareness of the advantage or accomplishment enjoyed by another person. It is resenting another person for having something we don’t have but want and the key word here is resent. Envy is void of resentment it is when resentment or competiveness enters into the envy that it becomes unhealthy and unacceptable. Jealousy which is also connected to envy is defined as the intolerance of rivalry it becomes sinful.

It is okay to rival it is okay to compete, but jealous becomes sinful when it grown out of a fear that someone is going to become equal with us, or replace us, or might become superior to us. Rather it is jealousy or envy we must realize that both can be and are sinful and to give into those feelings is to challenge God and God’s sovereignty.

We who are believers cannot afford to become entangled with envy and jealousy when we honestly understand that God has a plan and God has a place for all of us. In addition, when we give into envy it really means we are not pleased what God is doing in another person’s life and feels that God is not fair and just.

God in God's sovereignty gives us all as human beings, give us all our talents, our gifts and our abilities, and we that know God knows that God will bless whom God will bless. God will use whom God will use. God will elevate whom God will elevate, and there comes a time in all of our lives that if we trust God. We just have to decide that God has a bigger plan and when we have questions when we are questioning God we need to turn to Isaiah 55:8-9

What I was thinking when I received those hurtful words from S.C. both T.D. Jakes and Rev. Elaine Flake preach it this morning. I am at peace with my decision and I honestly pray S.C. renew her spirit before it is too late.

Feel Good Sunday

2008-09-06T23:54:00.004-05:00

Never Would Have Made It

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Back On Track

2008-09-06T22:55:00.005-05:00

Day two of having the Solu-Medrol infusion is over and tomorrow I can finally take the IV out of my hand. I am feeling so much better; I can move my head again and walk without the use of a cane. I am not going to lie, I am too vain to be walking around with a cane and I will do whatever it takes not to have to use it more than I have to. I am a realist and I know the day might come where I will have to use more frequently than I do know, but until then I am going to move around everyday I use of my legs. I was devastated when I had to stop wearing my three-inch heels. Hell, I catch grief from my doctors coming in with a one-inch heel. If you were, a shoe fanatic as if I am you would know how I feel. If I told you how many pairs of three inch heels I had to replace you would think I was nuts. Therefore, I will not reveal how many pair of shoes I own :)

This time around, the only problem I had with the Solu-Medrol was severe stomach cramping the first day. Today I was energize and I got a lot things accomplished around the house and caught up on reading chapters from my online History II class. My neurologist advised I go back on the Fentanyl patch. I discussed the emotional incident I had in May and I stopped in June thinking the emotional breakdown was from the Fentanyl patch. She had a point about the Fentanyl patch did keep my pain level in control because I was getting a daily dose of pain medication, I did not have daily tingles and numbness, and I did not have an exacerbations while I was wearing the Fentanyl patch. She also said that she is not comfortable with how many Lortab I have to take. With the kind of pain I suffer, I need daily 24/7 dosage of pain medicine going into my system.

I talked with a pharmacist and ask him if the Fentanyl could have been the cause of my emotional breakdown in May, he said Fentanyl does not cause that kind of reaction and that it could have been another medication I was taking. After that incident, I stopped taking all the medication. I do not plan to start my Fentanyl patch immediately because I am feeling fine from the Solu-Medrol. My plan is to take my Copaxone injection daily, and my Fentanyl patch. When it is time to put another Fentanyl patch on the third day I will skip a day or two then put another patch on.

I know my body better than anyone does and I believe this plan is best for me. My doctors want me to take an anti-depressant, but I am not willing to get back on an anti-depressant. The side effects of the anti-depressant have mental mood changes. Therefore, if it was not the Fentanyl that caused my emotional breakdown in May, it had to be the anti-depressant. If I feel, I need to go on an anti-depressant than I will make that decision when the time comes. The Fentanyl patch has dangerous side-effects, but you have to take the good with the bad and I am willing to take that chance again because it did work for me.

Republican Party Double Standards Exposed

2008-09-05T01:00:00.011-05:00

Jon Stewart EXPOSES the double standards of the Republican Party. Check out the the written and video tape over at The Huffington Post.

CLASSIC!

Forget all that clicking above click straight to the video

DISGUSTING

2008-09-04T18:59:00.010-05:00

The person that did this to an EIGHT DAY OLD BABY deserves to DIE.

CLICK ON RELATED VIDEO TO LISTEN TO THE NEWS REPORT

Solu-Medrol to the Rescue

2008-09-04T18:15:00.005-05:00

I believe MS is a jealous disease. Remember when my body felt split in half, eventually my right side was slowing mending back to my left, but it still feel different from my left side, just not as intense from when I first talked about it. Two weeks ago, the right side of my head down through my neck and slightly below my right shoulder was becoming more painful than the other part of my right side. In the beginning I brushed it off thinking maybe I slept wrong, but as the days went by the pain intensified to the point, I could not move my head.

Still not wanting to believe it was an exacerbation creeping up on me. I start taking my Lortab for the pain and Zanaflex for the spasticity. I thought I had it under control because the drugs were working. I continued with my life attending the candidate I support for Mayor meetings and rallies. With the holiday, approaching I was ecstatic that my youngest daughter was coming home and I would have all my girls home for the holiday. I start preparing all of their favorite foods and while I was at it, I cooked collard greens and pinto beans to freeze for later use.

Nothing was going to stop me from enjoying my girls and grandson Labor Day weekend; it has been since July, that all of my girls were in one room. I was overjoyed of having my family together, that is when I realized MS is a jealous disease, my pain and spasticity that Lortab and Zanaflex had in control was being overpowered. I was no longer getting relief from the drugs. I put on a brave face and enjoyed my family; I REFUSED to lie in bed during their visit because of how I was feeling. I am paying the price now for not giving in to symptoms of MS that tried to take my joy away. Had I given in to MS I know I would have become depressed. Exacerbations had robbed me of many fun times with my family that put me in a depress state of mind. After my last bout of depression, I developed an attitude of fight or die and I am not dying anytime soon.

When I woke up Sunday morning, I could not walk; the pain and spasticity in my head went into my upper right hip. MS was showing me it could take me down no matter how hard I was fighting. The drugs were no longer helping the pain; I was wishing I never stopped taking morphine. I finally waved the white flag and called my neurologist, I need reinforcement. This MS exacerbation was not going anywhere soon. I no longer could move my head, or walk without the use of my cane, and the pain was too intense.

Solu-Medrol to the rescue, today is the first day of three 1000mg of steroids. (I am hoping for that high energy euphoria feeling this time around. The last time I had steroids I was one angry agitated witch.) Symptoms of MS did not win this go round...

I WON this battle because I enjoyed my family the holiday weekend.

Feel Good Sunday Coming At You Early

2008-08-29T21:38:00.007-05:00

Because of the Holiday and my BABY is coming home. I am posting my Feel Good Sunday Post today.

ENJOY your Holiday and be SAFE

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Are You Willing To Donate Your Brain Tissue For Research

2008-08-29T20:54:00.007-05:00

Hmmm, I do not completely trust the National Data MS Registry Act. Lisa E. of Brass and Ivory goes into details about the National Data MS Registry Act. Is this the beginning of our government keeping track of individuals based on the disease they live with? I do not see the relevance of keeping surveillance on people living with MS will bring about a possible cure. I do know because of ones medical record that is compiled as a credit report can prevent you from getting life insurance. It happened to me when I sought to buy another policy. Had I not had life insurance already I would not have any today and that is why I advice any young person to seek outside life insurance from your job because you never know what life will throw at you.

Now, researchers need brain tissue and spinal fluid from MS’ers because it has the potential to tell us more about MS. Are you willing to leave brain tissue for research? I asked myself that since I read about researchers needing brain tissue from my local MS Chapter September newsletter. After pondering if, I want to donate a piece of my brain for research. I decided I would leave a little piece of my brain tissue and some spinal fluid for science. I want to do this for my daughters, their children, and other family members. Furthermore, I would be gone and why not help scientist understand MS and help further their research in finding a cure for MS.

MS could be genetic and if leaving a piece of my brain and some spinal fluid can possibly help scientist learn more about MS and hopefully one day find a cure from the research than I am all for it. I do not wish living with MS on anyone. It is bad enough dealing with RRMS and not knowing the day when MS go into the SPMS.

Witnessing History

2008-08-28T22:25:00.003-05:00

To witness the nomination of Barack Obama an African American for President of the United States and to hear him speak tonight words cannot describe how I feel. For this to happen on the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream" speech” is priceless.

THANK YOU AMERICA FOR PROGRESSING FORWARD…

YES WE CAN!

Kellogg's Quick Response

2008-08-25T14:41:00.005-05:00

I did not expect to receive a response so soon from Kellogg's. I feel a lot better knowing the black embedded spot inside the cream of my cookie was not an insect. CLICK ON IMAGE TO READ RESPONSE

I was satisfied with the two free coupons I received when they sent me the packaging to return the tainted cookie. I feel confident I can go back to buying their high quality products because it was only one cookie that had a black embedded spot. I also appreciate them sending me two more coupons and two DVD's City Slickers and Anna and the King. They are two good picks because I am a fan of Jodie Foster and Billy Crystal...How did they know? :)

Feel Good Sunday

2008-08-23T23:59:00.000-05:00

A SONG FOR YOU
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2008-08-23T01:41:00.007-05:00

Do you believe in karma?

A month ago, my husband found someone's PDA at the service station and brought it home. I told him, "That thing could hold someone's hold life in it. We need to find out who it belongs to". He said, "I am not going to go through the trouble of finding out who this belong to". I asked, "What are you going to do with it". He said, "Nothing". I told him, "I was going to find out who it belongs to and call them". "Do what you want", was his reply.

For the world of me, I could not figure out how to operate the phone or anything else on the PDA. I eventually gave up and kept it near me in the case someone calls the number. I figured someone would eventually call. A few hours later that day someone finally called, but I could not figure out how to answer it. I figured how to answer the phone around the fourth time the phone ranged. I hurried up and said, "Don't hang up my husband found this phone and I am trying to find out who it belongs to". The woman on the other end said, "It's my boyfriend phone that is why I kept calling hoping someone would answer".

She was excited someone not looking to keep it found the PDA and I met them in a public place to return it. The man who owned the PDA said, "Thank you so much, you have no idea how you saved my life". I laughed and told him, "I told my husband someone life is probably stored in that".

Who would have known a month later, I would loose my prescription eyeglasses and wallet. That is what happened Friday. I did not realize I had lost my glasses and wallet until I came home an hour later. I took off my prescription sunglasses and reached into my purse for my eyeglasses, only to discover they were not in there. I dumped my whole purse and began to panic when I realized they were gone. I went and searched inside my car, thinking maybe that they dropped out of my purse. Nothing, thankfully, I only went to two places while I was out. I discovered where I left my eyeglasses after calling the establishments I had been.

I immediately went to retrieve my eyeglasses and got the shock of my life. He also handed me my wallet, I had no idea I did not have my wallet. He told me two different people turned both into him. I checked my wallet and everything was still in it, I thanked God and immediately thought about my good deed of making sure I found the owner of the PDA my husband found a month ago.

What bothered me was I could not recall how I could have lost my eyeglasses and wallet. I finally stopped stressing about how I could have lost something so important because it was driving me...it is starting to drive me while I am typing this, but I am letting go. The important thing is that I have them both and because I did a good deed a month ago, yesterday a good deed was returned to me.

It is About to Get Dirty

2008-08-19T22:19:00.010-05:00

UPDATE:

I removed the original post because I noticed new wondering eyes to my blog from my city. This post would have revealed the identity of one of my sources and to leave it up would be irresponsible of me.

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The Wait Is Finally Over

2008-08-19T20:23:00.005-05:00

My Cervical Spine

I can now breathe a sigh of relief; I was putting off going for an MRI of my cervical post-spine and thoracic-spine because I did not want to know if lesions formed on my spine. I received the results of my and MRI and I ecstatic that I do not have any lesions and I have no sign of arthritis.

The right half of my body is slowly connecting back to the left half of my body. I am convinced my body split in half because of the stress behind the death of my mother-in-law and the extreme heat. Although I believed stress and heat was the cause of my body splitting in half. My doctor did the right thing having me take an MRI to rule out the possibility of my MS advancing to my spine. I now have a peace of mind when I suffer pain surrounding my spine area that I do not have any lesions and it is just the symptoms of MS kicking my ass for not keeping my stress in check and being in the heat too long.

My Thoracic-Spine

This Feel Good Sunday Is Dedicated To My Fellow MS Bloggers Who Are Going Through Some Tough Physical Symptoms Right Now

2008-08-17T00:20:00.008-05:00

YOU CAN MAKE IT...

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Oh broken promises
And shattered dreams
No hope it seems
Still I believe
That I can make it
By faith I am leading
The King and I
I will survive
And I know I can make it

I can make it
Through the sun shining rain
Make it through my sickness and pain
Make it when they scandalize my name
Make it just as long as the Lord is on my side
Everything I know will be alright
I can make, make it

Out in the cold,
No place to go
Still there is hope
Where the doors are closed
That I, I can make it

I can make it
You can make when mother is gone
Make it
Sometime you may feel like you're all alone
Make it
You don't have nobody to depend on
Make it
Always remember God is still on the throne
I can make it
The enemy wants all of us to fail
Make it
But God is gonna make us the head and not the tail
Make it
All you gotta do is make up in your mind to make it
Make it
You can make it

Just as long as the Lord
Just as long as the Lord
Is on my side
The Lord is on my side
Everything I know
Everything I know
Will be alright
It's gonna be alright
It's gonna be alright
Just as long as that Lord
Just as long as that Lord, yes
Is on my side
Is walking right by my side
Everything I know
Everything that I know, yes I know
Will be alright
It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright, hey

Not So Delightful

2008-08-11T10:38:00.006-05:00

I just ended my call with a Kellogg CSR this morning about my experience last night with one of my favorite Keebler brand cookies “Dipping Delights Cheesecake Sandwich Cookies”. Last night I had a sweet craving and I went and opened my newly purchased bag of Dipping Delights. I joyfully pulled out three sandwich cookies to devour.

I have a ritual when I eat sandwich cookies; I open the cookie and eat the side without cream first then slowly eat the creamed side. I was in heaven enjoying the taste of my Keebler cookie until I opened the third sandwich cookie.

At first, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw a black spot in the cream of my cookie. I pulled my eyeglasses off and closely looked to see if it was something stirred in the cream. I was sick to my stomach when I realized it was something embedded in the cream. It was horrifying wondering about the first two cookies I consumed that I vomit my stomach contents.

I could not let this go, I decided first I was going to call Kellogg Monday morning and I was going to return the bag back to the Commissary where I purchased it for a full refund on Tuesday because they are closed on Monday. The first thing the Kellogg CSR offered was replacement coupons; I really did not give a damn about replacement coupons. I told her, “I would not be purchasing Dipping Delights again after that experience.” As if I really cared, she informed me the coupons were good for any Keebler product. “The purpose of me calling is to inform Kellogg of what I saw in my cookie and I really did not care about the replacement coupons, I plan to take it back to the commissary where I purchased it to let them see what was in the cookie.” She offered, "You could return the cookie back to Kellogg and we will analyze what it is in the cookie and we will send you a report."

I did not see any harm in that because if I take the bag of cookies back to the store they would just refund my money and I would never know what it is in the tainted cookie. I also thought it was best to send it back to them so they could investigate what it is and check out the conditions of the plant it came from. In my mind, what if someone does not open his or her sandwich cookies as I do and ingest a cookie with what I found inside of mine.

I told the CSR that I plan to blog about my experience with their cookie. She asked, “Are you seeking something.” I replied, “What do you mean am I seeking something.” She responded, “Do you plan to take this further.” Oh, now I know what she was thinking. I said, “If I was seeking something I would not have called Kellogg, I am taking you at your word that Kellogg will analyze what is in the cookie I am returning and send me an honest report. Yes, I was horrified when I saw the black spot in the cream of my cooking and it made me sick to my stomach knowing I ate two cookies before that discovery. I plan to blog about it because it happened to me and I will never eat another Dipping Delight Cream Cheese Sandwich Cookie.”

IMO, everything thing is not a lawsuit, it is irresponsible to not report what I found in my cookie. What if after Kellogg does their analysis of what was in my cookie and found it could be harmful to others. The responsible thing for Kellogg to do is recall that batch of cookies. If I discovered it in my bag it is possible that batch of cookie from the plant where it was made could have some serious quality control problems and what I found in my cookie could be lurking in other packages.

Rest In Peace Isaac Hayes

2008-08-10T18:31:00.008-05:00

Heaven called home two talented souls this weekend. Memphis is singing the blues with the lost of Isaac Hayes. Below are my favorite songs by Isaac Hayes…

Walk On By

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By The Time I Get To Phoenix

I Stand Accused

Feel Good Sunday

2008-08-10T13:50:00.010-05:00

Join me in putting up a Feel Good Sunday music video, website link, poem, or story.

Time to start our week FEELING GOOD…ENJOY
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Accountability

2008-08-10T13:47:00.002-05:00

Those of you who been reading my blog for a while may recall a few post I posted about what I do in my community. I revealed a threatening incident against me, but as I thought about it. My blog is about living with ms and what I do to keep the Mayor office of my town accountable did not belong on my blog.

Well, it is heating up again because we are in an election year and I have given my four-year report card that is not in the best interest of the incumbent that is reported in the inaugural issue of my monthly Did-U-Know Newsletter. Therefore, my posting will not be as regular as it use to be, but I will try to put something up once a week. I will be back on my blog posting regular again after the election and I will make my rounds on the blogosphere when time allows it.

Stay HEALTHY

Blindersoff aka Debra